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Original poster

Mum and Dad both gone now...that’s it and I can’t believe it

51 replies

MrsGrindah · 03/09/2018 19:07

Title says it all really. I’m grieving so so much but people can’t tell Cos I have to get on with life. But I can’t believe that the people who loved me most, and who I love most, are gone. And with them my childhood home. I can’t see how I’m ever going to get over this. Help me please lovely people

OP posts:
numberseven · 03/09/2018 19:08

I am so so sorry for your loss.

Original poster
MrsGrindah · 03/09/2018 19:10

Thankyou. That helps even from a stranger. I just feel desperate

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Mayhemmumma · 03/09/2018 19:11

That s very sad...but also if you don't mind me saying, really lovely that they were so loved by you and missed, that's a good tribute to them. Memories will not leave you and you know you were loved very much.

Talk to people, they do care honestly.

Plutonium · 03/09/2018 19:11

Flowers sorry for your loss. Is your parents home being sold? Do you have any siblings you are close to?

zoobud · 03/09/2018 19:11

I'm so very sorry for your loss. Thanks

loobylou10 · 03/09/2018 19:12

I’m sorry for your loss. It’s very hard isn’t it when both parents are gone - I felt lost and a bit scared.

Bush321 · 03/09/2018 19:14

Both my parents died in their 40's within he last 5 years I totally understand how u feel. Hope ur ok, I'm here if u ever need a chat x

Nesssie · 03/09/2018 19:15

I am so very sorry Flowers
Would you like to tell us about them? You sound like you have had a very lucky and wonderful life with parents like them Flowers

Original poster
MrsGrindah · 03/09/2018 19:16

Yes the house is being sold. My siblings are fairly close to me but didn’t have the relationship I had with my parents if that makes sense. Not that it’s a competition but I get the impression they don’t feel as I do. I do understand that grief comes from love etc but I’m just engulfed in grief and regret and guilt. All the times I was short with them etc. Just wish I could have them back or one more day

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Mrbatmun · 03/09/2018 19:19

I didn't want to read and run. I'm so sorry. You are allowed to grieve, you can speak to people, let them know how you are feeling. The loss of both parents represents the closure of a huge part of your life, and as you say, your childhood home. It's OK to feel the way that you do.

I'm really not good with this stuff but I always remember what people say that grief only exists where love lived first. All that love between you and your parents, it's still there and always will be. It sounds like you had a wonderful relationship with them.

Original poster
MrsGrindah · 03/09/2018 19:19

I told them I loved them all the time but I’m worried my behaviour didn’t show it... they suffered so much in the end it was awful. I’m sorry. Hope I don’t bring back horrible memories fir anyone on this thread. Just. Feels like people in real life are bored with me now.

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DemonDiva · 03/09/2018 19:26

Firstly, I’m sorry you feel like this. It is an awful feeling. The old cliche is that time is a great healer. I don’t exactly agree with this; it feels to me as though time just very slowly allows you to breathe and have some perspective. At the moment, the bare facts of your loss and the knowledge that the situation is irreversible are staring you right in the face. With time these thoughts will recede and you will find it is possible to think about other things. But there is no schedule. It takes as long as it takes.

There are various books about what it means to suddenly realise that you are an adult orphan - whether you are 20 or 80 when it happens, the realisation that your parents are now both gone is still just that. However the relationships were in the end - good or bad - there is nothing you can do to change it now.

So, be nice to yourself, be patient, and know that other people have been there and survived it. Take care.

Original poster
MrsGrindah · 03/09/2018 19:49

Thankyou Demon. You are right .. the time asoect is beyond my control but I need it focus on the fact that eventually I won’t feel like I do know.

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TheAmbivalentAlpaca · 03/09/2018 20:05

I'm so sorry for your loss, your parents sound like they were very much loved, and you sound like a kind, caring person. If you feel like you can't talk to anyone offline then post here whenever you want to. Will keep you in my thoughts, be kind to yourself Flowers x

ParkheadParadise · 03/09/2018 20:19

Sorry for your loss MrsGrindah
It's hard when your parents die. Sounds like you had a great relationship with them and lots of memories to look back on.
Take Care Flowers.

RaininSummer · 03/09/2018 20:22

So sorry. No matter the age becoming effectively orphaned is devastating. X

Original poster
MrsGrindah · 03/09/2018 20:36

Thankyou all. Unfortunately I’m the first of all my friends to go through this is so no one in real life understands

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HemanOrSheRa · 03/09/2018 20:38

I'm so sorry. My parents are both dead. My Mum died in 2002 and my Dad died in 2016. I can still remember when the realisation hit me that I am an adult orphan. It's awful and I found it quite scary. I still do sometimes. But it does get easier. Take care of yourself Flowers.

Original poster
MrsGrindah · 03/09/2018 20:42

It’s The finality I cant deal with... the fact that that whole period of my
life is over . And I loved them so much

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MrsMozart · 03/09/2018 20:45

I am so very sorry.

It's not come to an end, it's what's made you what you are. Hold onto and enjoy your good memories.

bastardkitty · 03/09/2018 20:46

I'm so sorry for your loss and that you're in so much pain. It must have been wonderful to have felt such love. It's really going to take time for you to adjust to this massive change.

Chuggachuggatoottoot · 03/09/2018 20:47

I understand you OP. I have lost both my parents in the last 3.5 years. It is heartbreaking and it just leaves you lost and numb.

TheFaerieQueene · 03/09/2018 20:50

Perhaps remembering lovely times with your DP’s and writing about them in a private diary/blog, so you can actively do something positive and have a document to enjoy for years to come.
I’m sorry you are going through this.

mama17 · 03/09/2018 20:55

I'm so sorry for your loss. This must be awful for u. I am not in that situation but I do often think about when the time will come and I get so upset. Life is so so hard sometimes. Big hugs x

Original poster
MrsGrindah · 03/09/2018 21:17

Thank you all. I know it will get better eventually but right now feel utter despair. Just needed to share it here x

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