my nan has been given a couple of weeks...hospital saying I cant take in the children!!

[Nemo2007]

just been phoned by my mum to say my nan has a couple of weeks as the cancer has taken everything over. Cant stop crying, she hasnt even seen Chloe yet and hardly seen Adam and Hannah with her having lived in spain the past few years. She is in a hospital over an hours drive away who are saying I cant take the kids in to see her. She is being moved on wednesday to one even further away over 2 hrs drive. So do I just turn up with the children tommorow in the hope that someone lets them in??

Oh no! Why can't the children go? I totally understand how you feel as my Nan was dying 300 miles away when I was 9 months prg and I couldn't go to see her. I do hope you all get to see her very soon.

Nab3 the hospital hasnt actually given me a reason just said they dont have children on the wards..surely if she is terminal theres not a lot they can bring in to make her ill!!

I think you need to tell them you need to visit and the children need to see their nan. I am sorry you are going through this.

I'm so sorry Nemo. I would speak to the most senior person you can track down at the hospital asap, and see if they will let you take Chloe, who presumably is a baby. That won't upset her, and may give your nan a boost. You need only stay a couple of minutes with her.

Really sorry to hear about your nan, Nemo.

Sorry to hear your news Nemo. Maybe the policy is to protect the children from picking up an infection, at least that's what I was told when dh was in hospital and dd was a baby. I just turned up with dd looking helpless (she was bf, couldn't leave her with anyone) and they relented and let me in.

You might be able to reach a compromise with them such as the children go into the day room and come onto the ward individually for a limited time?

Have phoned and spoken to someone else who has said I can bring in Chloe but not the others which is fine as my nan saw ds and dd1 over xmas. I am not allowed to stay long but at least if something happens I will know my nan got to meet her latest great grandaughter.

I'm sorry to hear this Nemo. Hope your visit goes as well as poss.

Hope everything goes well.

nemo so sorry to hear your distressed by this. I was once on a haematology ward, lots of patients undergoing chemo and they wouldnt allow children to visit.
Not only is it unpleasant for children to see people vomiting every 2 minutes, they also carry lots of things like coughs and colds and they try to reduce the likelihood of patients getting anything by refusing entry.

They did however allow children into the day room, and I could go in there to be with them, maybe this hospital has something similar you could use for a family visit.

Please dont take it personally, they arent being difficult they just try to minimise infection

HTH x

mosschops I can understand that but was fact they didnt give an explanation. My nan is confined to a bed so cant move but am just glad I can take dd2.

yes they shouldve given you an explanation. Glad it sort of worked out for you

Will this be the last time you get to see her?

Oh FFS. This sort of thing really gets on my nerves. We have visiting rules on my ward, between 2 and 8, two visitors per bed. The two till 8 bit we are reasonably strict with, the visitor number less so. However, if there are circumstances which mean that people can not visit at any other time, then they are allowed to come. It is up to the visitors to bring children if they want. There is a risk of them picking up infections, but a minimal one.

I bet it is because they want to ensure none of the other patients are disturbed, but really that could be got around by say, limiting the amount of time the children would be there rather than just saying no. Your grandmother would lovely to see the children I'll bet. As she is terminal, TBH, on our ward all rules go out of the window. Have you spoken to the ward manager? Where will she be going after? A hospice? It is a lot further but may be worth a visit there too. I only hope they are less up their own unbendable rule arses.

Could your Mum sit with them in the canteen?that's what we used to do. The other reason is that not all the other sick people will find your dc as delightful however well behaved they are. Some people don't like kids some people don't like other peoples when they are ill! Sorry about your Nan

Sorry cross posted.

I'm sure that even people who disliked children would agree to a last visit with their Nan

Don't you mean disagree? You might if you were dying your self or the kids were really bad not saying Nemos are of course but we've all seen naughty kids. The problem is you must have the same rule for everyone!

No you don't. Not when that person is thought to only have a few weeks to live. Whole different issue.

Even if they were horrible (I'm sure they are lovely) they should still get to see their Nan.

You still need the same rule for everyone (that rule can be "rules go out of the window if terminal care") but as I'm sure you can appreciate members of staff have to be able to justify their actions when others disagree. Can also be hard to explain when others challenge why "she's allowed to bring her kids and I'm not" patient confidentiality and all that.