Would you say 'good girl' to a 9yo who stopped because a car was coming off a drive..

[dollybird]

.. or would you expect her to stop and therefore not say anything? DH saw our neighbours childminder say this to her DD and thought she was too old for that.

of course.

I probably would say 'good girl' - its an automatic response

yes I would - praise is good at any age is it not?

what a totally weird question.

Message withdrawn

ok, slopes off..

yup, automatic. whyever not?

I would. Is your dh a judgey judgey pants?

Definitely would. 9 year olds can be overconfident and get careless about cars.

i would, jsut a kid still.
why have you posted, do yuthink your dh was being too judgemental??

Don't you praise your children when they behave? I think not praising good behaviour is more odd I'm afraid.

I expect my children to clear their plates from the table, but I still thank them when they do so.

Children need positive contact (praise) to validate their effort to behave well.

yes i would and i do.

maybe we both are a bit. our kids would just do it and they're younger so thought it would be second nature by 9. maybe naive?

Who's naive, you or your neighbour?

your are just positively reinforcing something you expect them to do, hoping they do it again.
I do it with plates, picking washing up, putting shoes away, shutting car doors helping me with the shopping..

well, obviously your kids are verrry mature and good road crossers!

It was my mother thinking I was too old to be praised that led to my shocking self esteem problems as a young teenager. I thought she had stopped loving me.

was that the right response ?

I would think the reason she stopped automatically in the first place was because of the good teaching and positive re enforcement on the part of her carers.

Praise is good for children regardless of their age.Agree with sophable, the question is a complete no brainer.

us naive. anyway, i do praise them for all sorts of stuff all the time. wish I hadn't said anything.

thanks harpomarx

Dollybird don't be upset!

I wouldn't make an active decision not to praise, but I certainly don't praise DS everytime he uses good road sense, I expect him to behave appropriately when crossing roads and riding his bike in the street.

He is 5 now. When he was first learning I would praise obviously, but I'd hope it is just second nature to him now.

I think it is actually quite interesting dollybird!

Most praise is just automatic isn't it?

DS has started praising me though. It is rather disconcerting!