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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Would you say 'good girl' to a 9yo who stopped because a car was coming off a drive..

51 replies

dollybird · 08/09/2008 22:52

.. or would you expect her to stop and therefore not say anything? DH saw our neighbours childminder say this to her DD and thought she was too old for that.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

dollybird · 08/09/2008 23:11

Thank you omdb - was feeling a bit alone there.

OP posts:

handlemecarefully · 08/09/2008 23:16

Yes dollybird, don't get upset. We are just giving our opinions in the usual no holds barred mumsnet style...

I don't think there is any harm in the childminder saying this, and forgive me - but it does come across to me as a little 'off' of your dh

pointydog · 08/09/2008 23:17

poor dolly

Original poster

dollybird · 08/09/2008 23:18

When my DC are 9 I'm sure I'll still actually be 'Good Girl' and 'Good boy'ing for england!

OP posts:

undercovercat · 08/09/2008 23:19

Id like to add that when they are 9ish it suddenly dawns on you that they will be walking these roads ALONE. So noticing that moving car in the drive is a FANTASTIC achievement, as it means that they have got the gist of it.

harpomarx · 08/09/2008 23:20

I think I would draw the line at saying 'ooh, look a fire engine!' in an excited voice, though.

Original poster

dollybird · 08/09/2008 23:21

OP posts:

handlemecarefully · 08/09/2008 23:23

lol harpo!

Reginaphilangy · 08/09/2008 23:26

I actully still do this harpo

My dd is continually embarrassed by me. We picked her friend up to give her a lift and as we got in the car my dd turned to me and said in all earnest, "mum, whatever you do, when 'x' gets in the car, please don't sing"

Reginaphilangy · 08/09/2008 23:27

She is 8!

harpomarx · 08/09/2008 23:29

aw, make the most of it Regina - soon she will be a teenager and saying 'mum, whatever you do, when 'x' gets in the car, please don't talk'

Reginaphilangy · 08/09/2008 23:30

lol

Heathcliffscathy · 08/09/2008 23:35

ooo dollybird don't be upset (not that you are anymore).

i didn't see that it mattered either way, but look you've got an interesting discussion going.

am off to sob now as ds starts school tomorrow.

Overmydeadbody · 09/09/2008 00:02

Oh god that reminds me, the other day I was in a car with three other adults and no children, and I excitedly said "oooh look a tractor!"

and then immediately went

I don't think I will ever live it down.

Othersideofthechannel · 09/09/2008 05:57

LOL overmydeadbody

Dollybird. I don't have any experience 9 yrs olds yet but try to avoid saying 'good boy' and 'good girl' to DCs who are 5 and 3. I try to praise them in other ways.

LittleBella · 09/09/2008 07:04

Gosh those of you who think 9 year olds should have got the hang of road sense by now, obviously aren't familiar with the statistics of child pedestrian injuries and fatalities. Children between 11 and 15 are the group most likely to be involved as a pedestrian in an accident, to be injured or to be killed.

Obviously that's partly because they are the ones who are most likely to be unaccompanied pedestrians, but I think it shows that getting the hang of it doesn't necessarily happen by 9. Re-inforcement of good road behaviour is still really important at that age.

tegan · 09/09/2008 07:22

As a mother of a 10 yr old i expect dd to use common sense. i have faith in her ability to see what is going on around as she has been walking to school with friends and going out with her mates evenings and weekends for over a year now. surely this is down to the mothers insecurities in her child.

Original poster

dollybird · 09/09/2008 07:55

thank you Tegan - that is what I'm trying to get at. Apparently it was said like you would say to a 2 yo (like Tanya Byron tells people to). If I was 9 I would have been .

OP posts:

OrmIrian · 09/09/2008 08:06

How odd. Would you say thankyou to a 9yr old who did something helpful round the house, did homework well, did something kind for someone else? Well I would. Same thing. I never take my DCs good behaviour for granted.

cory · 09/09/2008 09:02

I feel a bit sorry for this childminder whose automatic responses are to be analysed as if every single thing that came out of her mouth had to be perfectly judged. Good job it's not me; I'm sure my level of early morning conversation wouldn't stand up to this much analysis. Are childminders never allowed to be an autopilot when that's how we mothers spend so much of our time?

Hulababy · 09/09/2008 09:07

Yes I would and I do. It is an automatic response for me.

I do expect DD, even at 6, to know to stop (which she generally does too) - but I would still respond in such a way.

ladytophamhatt · 09/09/2008 09:09

I'm more likely to say "well done" rather than good girl.
ds1 is 9 and he'd cringe at good boy. Even 7yr old ds2 would I think....

"good boy" is reserved for the 2 youngest brothers now.

frankbestfriend · 09/09/2008 09:14

Did she have younger children with her too? Perhaps she was trying to set a good example for them.

My Mum said 'good girl' when I passed my driving test

TsarChasm · 09/09/2008 09:18

I always always say 'good' 'well done' or stuff like that when they behave sensibly especially near roads. (dc 6 and 9)

I will probably still be saying it when they're in their 40's

I am 43 and my mum still grabs my hand if we're together crossing a road

FourArms · 09/09/2008 09:35

I say 'good girl' / 'good boy' to older children without thinking about it, as that's the standard praise that I use for my DS's (2 & 4). I've even said it to DH

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