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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Who has a 3 year old who is NOT potty trained?

50 replies

eleusis · 11/02/2008 14:40

DS seems to hat the toilet. Won't sit on it. No interest at all.

He has however started coming up to me to announce "Mummy, I stinky" when he has pooed in his nappy (feel and learn pull ups).

Is there any hope that he will spontaneously train himself before we get on a plane to Chicago in April?

He will be 3 in May. (Jeez, where did the last 3 years go ?!?!)

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Maidamess · 11/02/2008 14:43

My third didn't toilet train (because he was stubborn and bone idle, as was I) until he was well past his third birthday! Sorry if thats not what you want to hear. At least he is recognising when he's done a poo. If you really went for it now, with bribes rewards, the lot, you might be ok by April!!

expatinscotland · 11/02/2008 14:43

I have a 4.6-year-old who isn't.

But she has dyspraxia and other developmental delays.

Peachy · 11/02/2008 14:46

My ASD 4.5 year old is nowhere near (was for six months though- dammit!)

probably more relevantly, ds2 trained at 3 years and ds1 (AS/ HFA ut physically very capable) at 3.5- once they cottoned on, they were dry in a week and ds2 has never had an accident, ever (DS1 only because of ASD issues). So there are upsides to later training I promise, and it can happen really, really quickly when it does go.

jo25 · 11/02/2008 14:47

My ds was around 3.6 before he was toilet trained. He just decided to do it one day. just relax about it and it will happen. My ds is now 5.3 and was never supposed to be trained until 5-6 due to health problems which he is having surgery fro on wednesday. So he did amazilingly well.

Original poster

eleusis · 11/02/2008 14:47

I think we are going to install Gina Foprd on Monday (18th) because it is half term week so no sschool runs for the 4 year old. Nanny will do Mon., Tues., Wed., I will do Thursday, and DH will do Friday. If completely unsuccessful, I think I'll pack it in and maybe try again next month.

Roary reward chart is ready to go...

OP posts:

seeker · 11/02/2008 14:53

If he's not interested don't do it. Honestly. You can do it now and it'll be a struggle, you'll spend half term obsessed by potties and loos and doing washing and cleaning the carpet and it'll be horribe. Or you can wait a few months and sooner or later he'll say "mummy, I don't want to wear nappies any more" and you say "OK, Ds here are some pants and there is the loo" and it'll be done. Honestly. You only have to "train" if you do it before they are ready.

TheBlonde · 11/02/2008 15:01

My DS is almost 3
Not trained
I can't face it
He will use a potty before his bath and sometimes after
I'm hoping for some selftraining miracle that doesn't involve me cleaning pee off carpets

seeker · 11/02/2008 15:05

TheBlonde - it's easy. Just wait. No pee on carpets is necessary!

PotPourri · 11/02/2008 15:05

Just wait til he is ready. It's something physical - some kids just don't know they need it. It's good that he knows he has pooed though. Make sure you (and DH if you have one) let him see you going to the toilet, and if he has older cousins or siblings, them too. Eventually he will want to be a big boy too. As seeker said, if you train before he;s ready, it is so much more work

Othersideofthechannel · 11/02/2008 19:12

I did have one. He did it in a couple of days when he was ready ( 3.3 )

MrsMattie · 11/02/2008 19:17

My son is 3 this week. Only started showing an interest about a month ago. We tried a few times over the course of the past year (he showed all the signs that he was 'ready', but..urrr...he wasn't!). In the end, he really led the whole thing (just as I was starting to despair). He started saying he wanted big boy's pants, then started sitting on the potty / toilet but not doing anything, then started doing the odd wee and hey presto - a month later he is pretty much dry during the day with the odd accident when we go out. I know everyone says it, but he will do it when he's ready. Just start gently encouraging him (get the potty out and get him to sit on it before bed for his story? that was one of the things we started doing with him) and let him take the lead.

Countingthegreyhairs · 11/02/2008 19:24

Agree with Seeker. My dd nearly wasn't trained by her third birthday and I didn't push it despite veiled comments of disapproval from "friends". Then she started pre-school (wearing nappies and with potty in hand) and she wanted to be like the other "big" girls who went on the loo. It took about four days and she has been dry ever since. (At home she went from potty to loo in about ten days.) Boys can take longer. He'll do it when he's ready! But if you are really desperate to train him before the flight; I'd get some 'trained' friends around to demonstrate ....

smartiejake · 11/02/2008 19:25

dd2 was very late to potty train. SHe just about did it at 3.1 but still had endless accidents till she was 4 (and was not dry at night till 7). There are loads of youngsters who are not trained by 3 it's just not talked about as there seems to be some sort of strange "shame" attached to it and there are always those bloody annoying alpha mummies who have 2 year olds dry by day and night who love to rub your nose in it.(That and MILs who always insist that all her kids were clean by 18m!)

Countingthegreyhairs · 11/02/2008 19:25

small friends obviously

Original poster

eleusis · 11/02/2008 20:00

Thanks everyone. I think I might still give it a go at half term but not get my hopes up. I may be changing nappies in Chicago... ho hum. Oh well, I guess it's not the end of the world.

OP posts:

Reallytired · 11/02/2008 20:46

My son trained at 3 years and 3 months. It was quick and took about a week.

My sister in law started training her son at 2 years and 6 months. He had four to six accidents a day until he was three and half years old. In fact my son had his first day with zero accidents before his cousin who is 6 weeks older than him.

Lot of people lie about the age that their child is potty trained. Just because a child is wearing pants does not mean they are trained.

You can either start training at 2 years old and finish at 3 years old, or you can start training at 3 years old and finish at 3 years old.

legalalien · 11/02/2008 20:57

DS was capable, but unwilling, at 3. Sheer bloody-mindedness. Cracked it in about 10 days over Xmas (no potty, and now he does the who toilet thing (both types, if not TMI) unaided. To echo others - just wait, although I would recommend no pull ups and going commando (in DS's mind, underpants were just an inferior form of nappy for a while there - fine now!)

Blueblob · 11/02/2008 21:46

Mine has just turned 3 and isn't, he doesn't care if he's walking around wet or stinky. He was interested 2 months ago but never got one in and then decided he didn't want to go near a toilet. So despite knowing he's got quite a bit of awareness I'm leaving it for a while

Idobelieveinfairies · 11/02/2008 21:51

Me!..he is actually 3.4 yrs. and the potty and toilet is too cold for his bottom!

Going to try a bit harder next week during half term. His twin sister was trained 4 months ago without hassle or accident.

Good luck!

Reallytired · 12/02/2008 10:37

Nobody cares what age a child was potty trained by the time they are six years old, provided that by the time they go to school they are potty trained.

My son has never had a toilet accident at school inspite of being late toilet training.

Fennel · 12/02/2008 10:40

my dd3 was suddenly ok at 3.3. We'd been trying with her since she was 2.9 months.

I'm not convinced that the longer you leave it the easier it gets though. With my other two we started younger and they both got it in a couple of days, dd3 we started much later and it still took 6 months before she cracked it.

Original poster

eleusis · 12/02/2008 11:07

He starts school (nursery attached to the school where DD goes) in September. When DD started no one was in nappies. And I'd prefer he not be the subject of teasinf if he is still in nappies.

Maybe I'll paint the toiled to look like Roary. And when he pees, it will sound out Come on Roary on more lap...

OP posts:

blueshoes · 12/02/2008 11:17

eleusis, girls tend to be faster. When dd started at her nursery school (all girls' school - children between 3-4), all her classmates were dry during the day.

But in the day nursery at equivalent age, I think some boys were still having their stickers and charts up. I think boys train closer to 3+, rather than the 2+ for girls.

bozza · 12/02/2008 11:18

eulusis I would stick with your plan for half term. Big up the rewards and go for it.

And Reallytired:

"You can either start training at 2 years old and finish at 3 years old, or you can start training at 3 years old and finish at 3 years old."

That might be your experience but it does not hold generally true. I trained my DD at 2 years and 0 months and finished at, err 2 years and 2 weeks - no more accidents. And had her out of nappies at night at 2 years and 3 months - only delayed because wanted to wait until after holiday. DS was trained at 2.2 and was also reliably dry in just a few days. I have not seen their cousin who was trained at 3.2 training any quicker at all.

imaginaryfriend · 12/02/2008 11:20

I didn't, mine was using the toilet at 2.5 but her best friend really didn't get it until well after 3, might have been closer to 4. And she's still using nappies at night. She's nearly 6. Some kids take longer I think. No idea why, maybe physiological as well as psychological?

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