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Original poster

DS seems to be petrified of black people, what can I do?

28 replies

Quootiepie · 15/04/2007 18:29

I can't word it much more PC, not good at it, but don't mean to offend! Just had 2 men here, who were black, one admittidly was VERY big and DS just screamed and screamed, and when put down he ran and cuddled into me. He has never acted like that with anyone, and loves showing off with new people so much... Will he do this all the time? I don't know why he acted like that, but, we have no black friend so I guess it is the first time he has seen someone who isn't white.

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Kbear · 15/04/2007 18:35

This happened to friends of my mine who live in a little village in the Highlands. Their DD had never seen a black man before and when she did she stopped still and stared and stared. The friends chatted with the man, explained the situation about her never having seen anyone that wasn't white. He thought it was funny and knelt down and had a chat with the little girl and made her laugh and that was it - no further worries!

Original poster
Quootiepie · 15/04/2007 18:36

DS is 12 months so nothing much was calming him. In the end I had to put him in his cot.

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Kbear · 15/04/2007 18:37

The little girl was about 2.5 so easier to explain that people all look different I suppose. Nothing much you can do really is there.

trice · 15/04/2007 18:40

I had an incident when ds was 3 and we bumped into a group of moslem schoolgirls in full black veils at the museum. ds screamed "ghosts!" and hid behind me in floods of tears. They just need to grow up and meet more people.

NutterlyUts · 15/04/2007 18:40

I don't know how possible it would be but maybe as he gets bigger, try to visit places where ethnic mixes will be, so he grows up finding them familar?

lulumama · 15/04/2007 18:41

possibly more frightened of big strangers, than their skin colour? will pass as he meets more people

Original poster
Quootiepie · 15/04/2007 18:42

Yes, I guess not alot I can do at this age but he looked so so scared! Felt bad like someone we were teaching him at a young age to be racist or something

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Original poster
Quootiepie · 15/04/2007 18:43

He has met alot of people before and loved it, big aswell. Oh well

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mytwopenceworth · 15/04/2007 18:43

there isn't a problem. he saw something new. tbh, if the bloke was huge that probably contributed more! he's maybe hitting that age where they go loco when faced with a stranger, this stranger was big, towering over your ds (always scary) and if he's never seen anyone not white before, he was probably a bit worried about that too. don't think its a race issue because it truly isnt.

get dolls of all colours, get books where the characters are of different races, build up on seeing that, answer any questions that come up, educate him, but don't let it worry you, there's nothing wrong with him at all. xxx

a few years ago i went to a party with my dh. i was the only white person there and a little girl of about 4 came up to me, prodded at me, took my hand and subjected it to the closest examination. we all laughed and thought 'bless her'!

kama · 15/04/2007 18:44

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kama · 15/04/2007 18:44

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fryalot · 15/04/2007 18:45

fwiw - I thought dd1 was terrified of black people but it turned out she was frightened because he didn't have hair.

She was frightened of bald people. Of all skin colours.

Kbear · 15/04/2007 18:47

My DD always cried when she saw my Dad when she was about 1 - he looks like a Mexican bandit! I think they are hyper-sensitive to strangers at that age generally.

squeakybub · 15/04/2007 18:48

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Mercy · 15/04/2007 18:51

Don't worry about it, he's only a baby!

Quite a lot of babies and toddlers are frightened of anyone who looks 'different' in their view - men with beards, people wearing glasses, hats etc

Judy1234 · 15/04/2007 18:56

I wouldn't worry about it. We live in a very mixed race area and I don't know a time when we haven't had children of all skin colours in and out of the house and indeed looking after the children, but if you don't then small children just often are frightened of things that look different.

Mum2FunkyDude · 15/04/2007 18:57

Had the same experience with a photographer, ds was 6 months, but saying that even black dogs scared him.

PeachyChocolateEClair · 15/04/2007 18:58

couple of good books from Amazon- skin i'm in, and all kinds of people.

fab for helping kids to discuss variations in people and their lifestyles / appearance / religions etc, depending on which book you choose.

PeachyChocolateEClair · 15/04/2007 19:00

here

and

here

Original poster
Quootiepie · 15/04/2007 19:03

Great tips, thanks x I guess if I ever get my arse to a mother and toddler group there, and just generally out and about he will see lots of different people. I will make sure I do the drawings of people not just white, to be honest I wouldn't really have thought conciously about that. The baby tv he sometimes watches does have alot of different races which is good I guess

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cameroonmama · 15/04/2007 19:12

Quootie, my two dc 5 and 3 have both been brought up in Africa, we recently moved back to Somerset and in the local pool on Friday they saw a large black man, dd pointed out to ds, 'that African man over there'

PeachyChocolateEClair · 15/04/2007 19:27

Glad to that Cameroon mama- we moved away from Somerset and I don't think my kids met anybody of African appearance ever, we knew an Indian family and ds1 had a Chinese friend, that was about it.

here is so much better on that front, well they woldn't be running a world religion degree otherwise would they? LOL

Blu · 15/04/2007 19:46

I agree with Twopenceworth.
Just look for opportunities to increase the diversity in who he mixes with / sees on DVDs etc.

I met a Maori guy in NZ who had lived in a very isolated community and had run for his life having encountered some white people out walking in the hills for the first time in his life when he was a small child.

FioFio · 15/04/2007 19:48

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PeachyChocolateEClair · 15/04/2007 21:38

DS1 is scared of the cobra and the frog with big claws in the garden (In case youre new and think I live abroad, in Wales).

Beats any dog fears LOL!