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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

School referred my son for speech therapy

55 replies

itissolate · 31/12/2015 02:24

I am surprised how sad and cross I am.

I received a letter from the local speech therapy department explaining that my 3 year old had been referred to them.

A couple of the teachers at the nursery had previously raised their concerns but I felt he has picked up so much speech since September and whilst I can appreciate his speech isn't clear to strangers. As a family we have good conversations.

Just for background he was also referred by health visitors at 2 years old for the same concern, had a full clear hearing test and was discharged at that time.

Sigh. I understand the school have to do what they think is for the best. I just wish they had left it until Easter like I requested. He is picking up dozens of words a day at the moment. Sentence structure is up to 6 to 10 words.

I just want to enjoy my youngest and not have to drag him around appointments, which I feel are not necessary at this point.

I have accepted the appointment offered and hope he gets discharged again. I guess the teachers don't have the time to listen closely to one child. Maybe I should keep him home until school next year. I only send him, to get use to school but if no one understands him maybe staying at home would be best.

OP posts:

IguanaTail · 31/12/2015 02:30

Surely the sooner there can be intervention for him the better?

Original poster

itissolate · 31/12/2015 02:33

I don't think he needs any intervention. Just time to practise saying certain words, which I already do at home.

OP posts:

IguanaTail · 31/12/2015 02:35

Well then say you don't want him to go to the appointment. There will be lots of people on the waiting list really keen for a cancellation.

Original poster

itissolate · 31/12/2015 02:44

Surely it should be up to parents to seek help, if they see their child needs it. After all we are parents 24 hours a day not just seeing him for a couple of hours a week like they do.
Plus if they really want to help, just take time to listen, it is easy enough to hear what is being said.
Some children take longer than others to have perfect speech and he is already within normal guidelines.
I had already agreed to get him assessed after Easter if the teachers were still struggling. But after all the progress he is making at the moment, I don't want to interfere with the current progress being made naturally, by completing a battery of tests on a three year old.

OP posts:

Chippednailvarnish · 31/12/2015 02:45

I just want to enjoy my youngest and not have to drag him around appointments

Two different teachers and a HV have shown concern about your child's speech and yet the overwhelming vibe I got from your post was your reluctance to put yourself out. They are all concerned and want the best outcome for your child so why don't you stop being so negative, change your attitude and keep an open mind.

Original poster

itissolate · 31/12/2015 02:49

I agree it is better that time and money be spent on children who are not meeting the standards at all. Our son might be at the lower end verbally but bright as a button and is a very happy child.

Guess I don't want any upset with the school, surely it is better to go and request official discharge, than ignore it.

OP posts:

Original poster

itissolate · 31/12/2015 02:51

He has already passed one assessment and a hearing test last year. It is not like I haven't played ball. I just think kids shouldn't be pigeon holed at such a young age.

OP posts:

MartinRohdesBellybuttonFluff · 31/12/2015 02:52

Speech therapy covers a lot of ground from impediments like lisps though to difficulty interpreting and following instructions. Maybe they've noticed something you haven't so better to be safe than sorry.

If there's nothing up - great! If he needs help better to find out now rather than when he's 9 or 10.

Better to put your energy into helping him rather than feeling sad and cross.

MartinRohdesBellybuttonFluff · 31/12/2015 02:59

*through

IguanaTail · 31/12/2015 03:01

I think don't bother. Just keep him at home and do your thing with him. Leave the speech therapists to spend their time and expertise on children whose parents are keen for it. You're thinking about it in terms of "playing ball" and "not upsetting the school". They aren't. They are thinking of it in terms of helping your son. If you don't want him to have any help then decline it.

Original poster

itissolate · 31/12/2015 03:02

I will do what is needed . Take time off to take him back to the same clinic and listen to them repeat the same tests again.
(There is nothing wrong in his behaviour or hearing.)
I will be polite, friendly and not say any of what I have posted here. But I still think we should let children develop in their own pace.

OP posts:

justoneplease · 31/12/2015 06:37

While there is nothing wrong with his behaviour or hearing, there are clearly issues with his speech, and you are being obstructive and arrogant in not accepting the help that they are trying to get him. He may have speech impediments or other physical issues that are preventing him from speaking clearly. A speech therapist can identify and correct these issues nice and early to avoid him having any issues when he starts school. It is not about you. Nobody is implying that you haven't taught him to speak properly. Please think of this in terms of helping your son instead of throwing your toys out of the pram in a strop because it doesn't suit you and you feel insulted.

Saxons · 31/12/2015 06:51

You're thinking about your needs (hassle) and general enjoyment. However the professionals are best placed to decide if there's a problem and what's needed. And the nursery has a duty of care towards your son. Yes you are the parent 24/7, however it doesn't mean you know what's best for him if he has SEN or speech issues. It would be extremely poor if a nursery failed to flag an obvious issue.

Keep him at nursery. They are working with him and you can get them on board with his programme. It's positive that he sees other children/adults as he will be encountering different words to yours and will be having to make himself understood.

Sirzy · 31/12/2015 06:56

How great that you are lucky enough to have a proactive nursery and health visitor. Much better to get the support sorted when young than having to fight against the system as he gets older!

NerrSnerr · 31/12/2015 07:02

It is better that he gets support earlier and he gets any extra help with his speech before he starts reception. It sounds like you don't really want to inconvenience yourself. It's not fair that your son misses out on needed help because you can't be arsed.

hazeyjane · 31/12/2015 07:04

Children's speech at preschool/nursery, can be very different to the speech you see at home. There is other background noise, different situations to encounter, and other children talking around him. You may be able to understand him, the people who work in the preschool may be able to understand him, but other children may not be able to.

There are a whole range of speech issues, from non verbal right through to issues with specific speech sounds (even one or two speech sounds pronounced wrongly can make a huge impact on the speech you understand). At our preschool the SALT comes in to visit children in the setting (the parent often comes at the end - so the SALT can see the child without the parent, and then talk to the parent as well). Would you be happier with this?

ArmchairTraveller · 31/12/2015 07:05

That's why schools need to retain the power to refer children if they feel there's a concern, because some parents won't bother. Someone has to be putting the needs of the child first.

'Maybe I should keep him home until school next year. I only send him, to get use to school but if no one understands him maybe staying at home would be best.'

rather than supporting his communication skills?
Not only do teachers have the time to listen and observe every individual, they have experience of a huge range of similar ages and are often more able to spot the one who is significantly lagging behind peers.
A parent often adapts/accommodates without realising the possible causes of the child's issues.

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 31/12/2015 07:18

I didn't get access to speech therapy until I was in juniors. I still remember the teasing from children in the playground 'go on say sausages' 'ha ha ha shouldwe can't say sausages', the embarrassment I felt going to speech therapy and the indignation of having to read Cat in the Hat books there when I usually read Narnia and James Herriot books. Get him seen early before it becomes an issue for him.

lokijet · 31/12/2015 07:30

My son had/has a sppech disorder and like you I initially thought it was just delay as he had great vocab. But having discussed with nursery had him assessed and like you his hearing was fine but he had an issue producing sounds correctly - looking back I was effectively translating for him. At around 3 it starts impacting socialising as kids/people who didnt know him couldnt understand him and I was keen to grt addressed before school proper started. If your area is Iike mine it may take time to get support and support before school was much greater. Thanks to the support he has made great progress (you will stillbe the one doing most with him)

I would therefore keep an open mind -thry wont offer support unless its needed as resources are stretched

Nanofone · 31/12/2015 07:33

You really need to trust the advice of the school. They see hundreds of children and have much more experience than you do of what is the range of expected development and what may be a possible cause for concern. If there is an issue then the sooner your DS gets help the better.

Caprinihahahaha · 31/12/2015 07:39

You have immensely negative views about the suggestion of speech difficulty.
You understand having a problem with speech does not change him. It isn't an insult. It isn't a reflection upon you.

You have been offered help he may or may not need. It's not a bad thing.
Go with it. One day you may be grateful you did

HelenaJustina · 31/12/2015 07:41

My friend's son didn't have any problems picked up by his full time nursery full of child care professionals. His mum took him to the GP at 3, up until then she had thought he would catch up on his own, people told her boys were slower to speak and that he had concentrated on gross motor skills instead.

Actually he had a severe processing problem and is still have weekly SALT age 9, ed psych are involved in supporting him at school and she does masses of work with him at home, but he is still 18 months behind and they can't seem to close the gap...

Please access help if you are offered it and approach it with an open mind.

Mehitabel6 · 31/12/2015 07:52

I can never understand why people see this in a negative way and are not extremely grateful! You are really lucky when there is a shortage of speech therapists. I had to keep badgering to get anyone to refer my son, I saw the problem at 2 years and he didn't get any help until he was 6 years. Nursery see lots of children- they know if he needs help- I can't see why you want to deny this.
You seem to think there is a stigma in it!
Why in earth can't you still 'enjoy him'? All the exercises are quite fun to do.

NoMilkNoSugar · 31/12/2015 07:54

My DS has had speech therapy for three years. School and DP identified the problem, as I simply couldn't hear it, because I knew what he was trying to say, sometimes it takes an outsider to identify the issue. Although it was only a minor issue it was enough to affect his writing skills as he wrote the way he spoke. School had someone come and assess him, then school took over the practice of it, one session a week. We were only called in for a meeting, when he changed schools and was reassessed, as we had gone to a different borough, an action plan was discussed and we were told what would happen and how we could help and support him. So no need for us to put ourselves out to much. . He loved his session and school makes these kinds of sessions the norm, so his class mates barely batted an eyelid, when he had to go for them.

Mehitabel6 · 31/12/2015 07:54

I am surprised at how 'sad and cross you are' when there is nothing to be sad and cross about!

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