School referred my son for speech therapy

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I am surprised how sad and cross I am.

I received a letter from the local speech therapy department explaining that my 3 year old had been referred to them.

A couple of the teachers at the nursery had previously raised their concerns but I felt he has picked up so much speech since September and whilst I can appreciate his speech isn't clear to strangers. As a family we have good conversations.

Just for background he was also referred by health visitors at 2 years old for the same concern, had a full clear hearing test and was discharged at that time.

Sigh. I understand the school have to do what they think is for the best. I just wish they had left it until Easter like I requested. He is picking up dozens of words a day at the moment. Sentence structure is up to 6 to 10 words.

I just want to enjoy my youngest and not have to drag him around appointments, which I feel are not necessary at this point.

I have accepted the appointment offered and hope he gets discharged again. I guess the teachers don't have the time to listen closely to one child. Maybe I should keep him home until school next year. I only send him, to get use to school but if no one understands him maybe staying at home would be best.

If your area is anything like ours, after the initial appointment you'll be lucky to get one appointment for a group session every 6 weeks, with exercises to do at home inbetween. Hardly time consuming.

I find your attitude very odd.

It is in your childs best interests, not the schools, not yours. It won't have been easy for the school to make contact with SALT, at least it isn't in my borough, they obviously feel it's the best course of action.

It may be a tough pill to swallow, especially if you feel that progress has been made, but these appointments won't hinder speech development they will only aid it. Try not think so negatively about it, it won't help your DS.

I don't think it's odd. I think it's understandable but it's obviously not helpful.

Of course it's a shock the first time we have to contemplate that our child's experience may not be that apparently simple acquisition of skills that we kind of took for granted. Life is suddenly uncertain and challenging in a way we didn't anticipate and that can feel like a loss or can feel scary.

But of course it's not like that. Our kids sometimes just take a different route. But being slightly annoyed or slightly in denial is easy to understand as a way better alternative than sad or scared isn't it?

Speech has an ENORMOUS impact on their ability to learn to read and write. I feel you are burying your head in the sand a bit here. Early and rapid intervention is ESSENTIAL and you should be grateful your school is so switched on. (Year 1 teacher).

I don't think it is odd to be upset and angry, and maybe you feel that school should have discussed this with you further. It must seem odd if you have had a battle to get your child seen by SALT.

Op, it isn't a case of 'pigeon holing' a child, children need different sorts of support in all sorts of different areas, some that school can provide, and some that needs the support of outside agencies - no-one is trying to pigeon hole your ds they just want to make sure that when he starts full time education, he is starting with the best grounding.

My son was slightly delayed with his speech. I'd been bugging the HV about it since he turned 2 it wasn't until he started preschool that they confirmed it to me. I then went to the self refurral clinic as soon as he was old enough at just turned 3 years. They won't see them any earlier hear. I was very grateful the preschool confirm what I thought and support the need for a refurral.

They see hundreds of children his age they are best placed to judge what is normal. And as others have pointed out they often struggle more in a different setting. Your better getting it sorted before he starts school and needs his sounds for phonics and reading where it could hold him back.

I didn't think it was a barrage of tests DS thought it was like playing games he was happy throughout. He needed a couple a group seasons and work at home and by the time he started in reception they couldn't tell need even had any issues. Better then waiting till he got to school and seeing if he still has problems then which may have impacted on his learning.

That was a two sets of 6 sessions of groups sessions, not just two seasons, to be clear.

If they left it til Easter, he wouldn't have an appointment til next academic year.

Had similar with ds2. He was referred in October of year R. Seen by unit in March - some concerns. Had follow up assessment in September of year 1 - has come on leaps and bounds.

What I'm saying is that actually given the significant time between referral and appt in some areas, it makes sense to refer when concerned. If all well, then no harm done.

I tend, though, to grab any advice or experience from teachers/hcp when it comes. I have three children. I haven't got experience of hundreds of children of the same age and the perception of what is age appropriate and what may be a flag for an issue.

Speech (& Language) Therapy appointments are like gold dust!

You will not be offered a whole series of them if there isn't a problem - 3 at most to carry out a full assessment. Also it isn't just about speech 'sounds' It also assesses reasoning and understanding of language

I do agree with you to some extent about pigeon - holing children and allowing them to develop at the I own rate but language is fundamental to learning and early intervention is best

I am sad as I attended speech therapy when I was a child. I found it very degrading, as for many years I had to read out loud Mr Men books. The other children took the micky and I didn't want my child to go through the same thing. That said I had a bad stammer which needed addressing. As DS2 doesn't have a stammer I don't understand what he needs but I didn't want him to have the same experience I had. Hopefully he will outgrow any need for support.

I am cross, as the school has a history of only being helpful if it suits them.
I begged this same school for help with my oldest child and they refuse to help. Pushing all blame for DS1's behaviour onto me, though CAMHS says DS1 issues are his personality not parent driven. I am struggling to forgive them for refusing to help in any way. Now years later they yet again railroad me. This is why I am cross, I just wanted to wait until Easter to see if DS2 would catch up on his own. But they have no respect for parents wishes. I am trying to forget the whole DS1 thing but honestly it has destroyed any trust I had with the school.

I can understand how off I am coming on this thread. As a name changer you always get rougher responses and without history on a poster, attitudes can be difficult to understand. I am not unwilling to help my youngest, rather worn out after fighting for years for help with one child which is not forthcoming and yet to be pushed against my feelings that my youngest will catch up on his own. I am tired emotionally and not ready to face any other potential problems at the moment.

I thank everyone for your posts.

Surely it's better for a problem to be addressed as early as possible?

I can understand your annoyance with school about your eldest but now you seem to be getting angry with them for being proactive - so in that sense they can't win it seems.

My son is 3.5 and has weekly speech therapy in a group setting at our children's hospital. He loves it! It's not sitting there reading Mr Men books :) they do all sorts of activities and talk and play with toys etc. He's made some nice little friends through it and it's been very good for all of us (we get to watch through a two way screen).

If they are offering help please grab it with both hands!! In my experience as the mum of a child with fairly severe special needs they won't offer unless they think it is necessary, most people have to push and fight for everything.

I'm a SALT. In my department we only see children referred with parental consent. I would be open and up front in your appointment about the fact that you wanted to wait. I can see why you are frustrated by the school, if you thought they had agreed to a plan and then went ahead and did something different.

Hope the appointment goes well.

You were probably like me and going when you were older, that is why it is better to go now and try to sort it out while Mr Men/ Cat in the Hat books are still appropriate reading material and before other dc realise and tease him.

By going now you might avoid the stigma for him, and it won't make it worse. If they don't do anything he will probably forget in a few months that he ever went. If they do intervene then maybe in a year his speech will be clear and he will never have the experience we did. Rather than thinking it is history repeating itself think of it as correcting itself.

You are basically projecting your issues regarding your speech and your previous issues with the school on to a completely separate situation, whilst ignoring that a HV was of a similar opinion regarding your child's speech.
It's not about you, it's about achieving the best possible outcome for the child.

Your poor experience will not match your DS', SALT has come a long long way and will not be degrading, I can promise you that!

Oh littleducks if you have older children in do they still have to read books which are far too easy for them? I think that was one of the things that bothered me the most. Still hate the Cat in the Hat books even though my dc like them.

I have been in a somewhat similar position to you OP in that my DS was a late talker and the impetus for intervention was not coming from me – I would have been happy to wait and let language develop at its own rate. I found the whole not-a-moment-to-lose, intervention-is-critical atmosphere quite stressful.

I did go along with it all and there were times when I felt dreadful because the testing was too intensive and DS didn’t enjoy it.

DS is fine now and learnt to read and write without any problems, although I was told he would have difficulties. I think that a lot of children are caught in the net for early intervention because there is no way as yet of filtering out those who are simply late-talking but would catch up naturally. Some children will turn out to have genuine problems, many will not.

I suppose the current attitude is better to be safe than sorry, but the emotional toll on families can be great.

I would still go along with the intervention sessions though – I enjoyed the extra time with DS that entailed, even if, whisper it, I strongly suspect he started to talk when he was ready to and the effect of intervention in his case was merely surfing the wave of natural development. (Of course there is no way of knowing for sure.)

From what I have read, some DCs who are visuo-spatial in their thinking – good at jigsaw puzzles and lego – can be late to talk because there seems to be a trade-off between this sort of thinking and the verbal mode of thought. Could that apply to your DS, OP?

I have two children who have had NHS Speech Therapy and have gone to have private therapy afterwards (discharged far too soon imo). They both started age 3-4, with one carrying on to 7 and one still having therapy at 6.

Speech disorders can (and did in our case) have a massive impact on phonological awareness and I am grateful to the teachers that picked it up and to be in a position to pay privately when the NHS could offer no more.

My advice is to go along for the assessment with an open mind and see what they have to say. It always hard to hear that your child has a problem, but burying your head in the sand is not going to help.

My child started speech therapy at 3. I took her along to a drop in session because I was concerned about her, fully expecting to be sent away as an overly worried mother. Because she never stopped talking and did long sentences. In my head speech therapy was for children who didn't talk.

When I sat there and watched her say word after word wrong I realised her problem was worse than I had realised. When you speak to your child every day you get so used to the way they speak that it becomes a non-issue. Taking a step outside and hearing what other people hear is a real shock to the system.

She remains behind her peers at nearly 5, but she is much more understandable as we were able to address the most pressing issues.

Don't turn down this opportunity, go with an open mind.

I have already accepted the appointment. Really hope everything turns out ok.

When DD was three she has weekly SALT sessions at nursery for a delay which her playgroup teacher referred her for. I thought her delay was pretty mild but was happy for her to have help.

She came on unbelievably quickly. When I look back at videos of her, her speech was so much worse than I thought. I was just used to translating for her.

Why should your sons teachers have to spend time listening carefully to try to interpret what he is saying, when his speech can be improved? I'm totally baffled by your reluctance. Literally nothing bad can come of this. You'll be doing him a massive disservice.

I think your being really unreasonable here. Its not a negative thing and if needs the extra support brilliant! My sons got problems with his eye sight I moved heaven and earth to make sure he had an operation to improve his vision and the correct glasses and regular tests. It's part and parcel of being a parent is going to appointments. I actually had speech therapy as a kid as I couldn't pronounce certain words properly and it did me the world of good. I would hate to think if I hadn't it what my confidence would of been like. I still can't pronounce g sound at the end of words but I feel confident speaking to others. If for a second I thought one of my DC speech was impaired I would of went to seek a referral immediately. As it sounds they talk better than me. It is always better to start speech therapy at the earliest opportunity rather than waiting. Being a mother you put your child above others not yourself. It was teased for not been able to pronounce certain words but thankgod i had the therapy.

Twins had a referal for speech. They were great at telling me the exact sounds they had issues with. We could narrow it down to practice those sounds. DS had hearing issues aswell. It was 6 months between first referal and being seen. So waiting would be an issue.
Take him. Listen to what they say.

The thing is OP that if it doesn't turn out ok then you will be doing something about it - i think this is more about you wanting your child to be perfect and not wanting to accept that something is wrong.

FWIW DS3 was initially turned away from NHS speech therapy at the age of 2 because he didn't meet the criteria - he most definitely did and still does need therapy at the age of 6.