A very very stupid question about toilet training from someone who's never done it before

[Pascha]

How do I know they are ready? Do I wait for some specific signs or do I just pick a convenient week and have a go?

DS (2.5) tells me if he's doing a wee, but not always a poo, although I think he knows when he needs one. He's never seen the potty as anything other than a racing car to drive around. He shows interest in us on the loo. He doesn't have enough language yet to reliably tell me verbally if he needs it.

Is there some magic threshold when I will know its right or do I just guess?

It's hard as all children are different, have you tried a child-toilet seat that fits over yours?

You guess. And if it doesn't work, you stop and try again later. And yes to pick a convenient week and have a go. For both of my older DDs, I toilet-trained during a time when my mum was visiting as it meant two adults to do the race to the loo and/or clean up the carpet

Aha! Toilet seat! Much more likely to be accepted I think. I guess I just sit him on it regularly for a bit to give him the idea without pressure and then just go for it one day when I think he's got the hang of it. Sometime this summer will be ok.

There's a very good Mumsnet guide to potty training here: www.mumsnet.com/toddlers/potty-training

I tried at 2, 2.4, 2.8 and then left it until 3. I found the potty was seen as a plaything. More interest was shown in the toilet and within the week it was being used, although the child toilet seat was discarded for being "too slidy" (not secure enough). It was preferred to sit on the toilet proper and grip. A step next to the toilet was more useful than either the child seat or the potty.

We did stickers and made an enormous fuss when the toilet was used (or even looked at!)

Very few accidents - those that did happen after initial toilet training were laziness (no effort being made to get to the toilet and not caring about the results) so after around 5 of these episodes where I dealt with it by being all sympathetic, I changed tack and had a stern talk about how it was fine to have an accident if you had made effort to get there, but just to sit and not bother even trying to get to the toilet, or being not bothered by the resulting accident, was not acceptable. There were no further accidents (ever!)

I honestly think that if all else is well, 3 is a good age to do it, as they are old enough to comprehend the process, not just the physical going to the loo, but the whole getting dressed and undressed, flushing toilet, washing hands etc. From what I hear from my friends, the later it's left, the quicker the training (and more successful) but 3 seems to be the best age (any later and they might use it as a negotiation tool, as they will be sharp enough to work that out then!) But all are different. I do know of less than 2yo who are very competent on the potty.

If they are verbal enough to indicate they need to go, can pull their trousers up and down and are going reasonably long periods with a dry nappy then give it a go at a convenient time.

I saw a musical potty t'other day. Which comes first, a clean and dry child or its parents flinging the singing shitter out of the first floor window like a dirty frisbee? What a ridiculously annoying idea.

I was lucky first time round as dd told me she was ready by refusing nappies completely and accurately using the potty from the beginning.

I know my ds though, he's going to be much, much harder. He knows when he needs a poo as he goes and hides which I envisage being great fun when he's nappy free.

I'm toilet training DD 2.8yrs at the mo, feel like a novice again even though have DS who is nearly 6 so ive done it before!

She started taking interest in knickers, tried a few times a while ago but constantly wet and was upset by it. We are on day 6 now of me just deciding to try it as starts preschool after easter and only occasionally has a little bit in knickers if been holding it, still needs nappy on to poo though (or in knickers as did for first time today )

I've decided to start training my 2.4 yr old girl this week, but after a day of no sucess she seems to be getting a little distressed by being sat on toilet and will only sit so long as she gets a sweetie! This morning she has had several dribbles and kept saying she needed toilet, but nothing when sat down, after an hour of this was getting a little concerned that she was holding wee in and just 'dribbling' so decided to put nappy on... After about 20 mins and 2 more request to sit on toilet (with no success) she did a big wee in nappy! Should I give up for now and try in another week or so, or should I persist, but concerned about her having negative thoughts of toilet?? Also whenever I get her to sit on potty, she immediately gets off!

I waited until both of mine announced "I want to wee on the potty and wear pants" before I started - they were dry in a couple of days with no fuss. DD was 2.5 and DS 3 (although I got really fed up of people asking me why I didn't do DS earlier!)

Mind you, both of mine are stubborn and independent to the extreme, if I had a DC who was more of a crowd pleaser, I might have tried sooner.

no idea from personal experience but a friend works in childcare and was recently told on a course that children are ready once they're able to walk upstairs one foot after another (ie; on different steps) - no idea if there's any truth in it but I plan to take a relaxed approach until DS turns 3 unless he particularly wants to use the toilet before then

DS turned 3 last month and still doesn't want to wear pants. I tried at easter and he just held his wee for 5 or 6 hours saying he wanted a nappy on so went back to nappies in the end. Have just ordered a reward chart of ebay, gonna have another go when that arrives, hoping for good weather next week