How long does potty training take?
Bowel control often comes before bladder control and children may be wet in the night for some time even when they're dry during the day.
You can't teach toilet training in a day – it may take weeks or months, with minor relapses if your child becomes troubled or ill.
If you're lucky, your toddler may step out of nappies within a couple of weeks and never look back.
How to introduce a potty
Toilets can seem enormous to toddlers, who often worry they'll fall in and get flushed away. Try not to encourage this anxiety by reassuring your toddler that's there no chance of this happening.
Introduce your toddler to the potty in a casual way, letting them play with it and role play with teddies or dolls. Don't let the first introduction be their bare bottom on the chilly plastic with your face peering nightmarishly from above.
It may also be helpful to start with a low-pressure introduction by placing the potty in the bathroom and encouraging your toddler to sit on it before bath time.
If a trainer seat is more appealing and 'grown up' to your toddler than a potty, put one over the toilet seat and add a step stool if your child struggling to get up onto the seat. Of course, the toilet is not as convenient as a potty, so you may need to visit it more frequently to help your child get used to it.
To get your toddler interested in potty training, if they're not already, trying reading a potty training book with them.
Parent-recommended potty training books:
How to potty train your toddler
1. Explain what you're doing
Talk to your toddler, make sure they're aware of the plan, and let them know that you support this new phase in their development as this will reinforce their decision to start using a potty or toilet.
Rewards, such as stickers or a small sweet treat, will also help them to feel more encouraged.
2. Eliminate the pressure
Potty training success can vary dramatically from child to child and it's important that parents don't cause any unnecessary pressure. Patience and encouragement is key so as to not diminish self-confidence.
3. Ditch the nappies
No nappies or pants around the house is often the order of the day once you start potty training, but buying your child the best potty training pants will help them to feel more grown up.
Some parents prefer disposable pull-ups to get started (they offer absorption in the event of an accident), but if you're environmentally-conscious, reusable training pants are a good place to start.
Your child will then feel the difference and start to associate wearing their training pants with going to the toilet.
Parent-recommended reusable training pants:
4. Encourage regular potty visits
For the first day or two, sit her on her potty every half an hour or so. Encourage her to use the potty after she's woken up – first thing in the morning for example – and teach her to check for dryness.
5. Use technology as a helping hand
When it comes to potty training, no strategy is off the table. One mum found Amazon's Alexa to be very helpful in aiding her son's potty training, using her Amazon Echo Dot to set potty reminders every 40 minutes.
A parent's potty training diary
This Mumsnet user's diary is an example of what you can expect when you start potty training your toddler:
Day 1. We stayed in all day. Potty in the lounge. Sat him on the potty every 15 minutes for five minutes or so. If he did a wee while he was on the potty, we would cheer and give him stickers etc. If he did a wee on the floor, then we just said, “Never mind. We'll get it in the potty next time and get a sticker.” No pants or trousers – just a naked bottom half all day.
Day 3. Still stayed in all day, but only sat him on the potty every two hours or so – I worked out from the previous couple of days that he wees about every two hours. He mostly managed to hold it in for the whole two hours each time and then did it straight away when I asked him to sit on the potty.
Reacting to accidents
Be sympathetic about accidents and stress the joys of no nappies rather than the delights of weeing in the potty. Don't make a drama out of wet pants – children, especially when they're older, can feel ashamed whenever their bladder lets them down.
During the early days, a tummy bug or diarrhoea is likely to cause accidents. If your child has diarrhoea and is upset about it, reduce any additional stress by staying home (if possible) and reassure them that diarrhoea is also experienced by adults.
Don't treat toileting as disgusting
Most people aren't relaxed about their bodily functions, so it can be difficult not to pass your hang-ups on to your child. Phrases like “Ugh, you smell” will be counterproductive. Control your revulsion, even when scraping up poo from the living room carpet.
Potty training out and about
Toddlers usually can't go to the toilet 'just in case' before a long journey. Inevitably, they'll want to go when you're travelling at 70mph along the motorway. Take a potty with you, but don't risk life and limb to avoid a puddle in the car.
Trainer pants may also be worthwhile for trips out, but always bring a change of clothes with you as well.
Related: The best travel potties for toilet training on the go
Getting your toddler dry through the night
Don't rush trying to get your toddler to stay dry through the night. Only dispense with nighttime nappies once daytime dryness has been comfortably achieved and she has had some (or all) nights in which the nappy stayed dry.
If your child isn't dry at night, it's probably because their nervous system isn't mature enough to trigger a signal that their bladder is full and needs emptying.
Discuss with your child the issue of leaving nappies off at night and put a plastic sheet under the sheets. Be relaxed – reassure your child it doesn't matter if they wet the bed and that you can wash the sheets and change their pyjamas. Let them know they're bound to get the hang of it soon.
One in 10 six-year-olds are regularly wet at night and most grow out of it. But if your child continues to be wet at night after the age of six, visit your GP or seek advice from ERIC, the Children's Bladder and Bowel Charity.