Alexander/Xander or Lysander/Sandy?

[hopingforapeainapod]

DS2 due soon… I’ve always loved Alexander as a name but less of a fan of the nickname Alex, so would want to call him Xander (his brother also has a Z sound in his name, so I think they would go well together).

DH though thinks Xander is quite American, and has suggested Lysander as an alternative, with the nickname Sandy. I think Sandy is very sweet and I love the historical / literary associations of Lysander but I worry that a) Lysander is much more ‘out there’; b) Sandy is a more gender-neutral nickname and c) people will constantly mispronounce it as Ly-SARN-der rather than Ly-SAN-der.

Any thoughts??

Nn are a funny thing. Whatever nn you curate for your child, or even if they don’t have a nn at all, as soon as they’re at school it can all change, with a nn emerging organically amongst them and their friends. Middle dc, who had always been ‘full name’ at home, (and everywhere else, as far as I was naively concerned!) arrived home with a homework book officially (teacher had laminated their names) emblazoned with a nickname and surname. Gave me a jolt - it was only year 4! It was nice enough, just a standard nn for his name, but it wasn’t who he was to us! He was happy though. Still has the same nn with his friends as an adult, but we still call him by his full name and he says it would sound really odd if we called him nn!

I have an Alexander and he likes to be known as Alex, he's also fine with Al and Ali.

My daughter and DIL were both pregnant with twins and both wanted Alexander for one of them. My daughter was the first to give birth so got Alexander. My son and DIL chose Xander, but he now goes by the nickname Zazz whilst Alexander is called Alex. Luckily, they both had different ideas about the other boys names, so no competition there, thankfully!

Lots of people are like that known by full name to birth family but a different name to friends, and partner.

I'd assume you're a fan of buffy the vampire slayer with Xander

Both are handsome names.
I prefer Lysander.
Alexander can have the nick name Sandy.

Sandford could be an option; it's very smart.

Sandford is the opposite of smart

Agree. I went to school with two Sandys (who were both Alexanders but never called that). This was in Scotland.

Sandford sounds like a place.

Glasgows Family Planning clinics are called Sandyford, as the first one was on a street with that name 😳 the Sandyford Clinic

I love Alexander / Xander myself.

dont get the hate for Lysander on the other thread but between the two would choose Alexander.

With all baby names you should pick what you both like and agree on. Other people’s opinions are kind of irrelevant. I can tell you what I’d do but it will probably make you think - what?? Why?

I’d pick Alex/Alexander. Or Alexander/ Sandy. Sandy is a lovely sound, it sounds a bit fey right now but it was popular for a reason and I can see it coming back.

I dislike Xand/Xander and I think the reason I don’t like it is bevause to me it makes me think, “solid, essentially unadventurous but a bit different”. It also makes me think of Xand van Tulleken and his twin, and their incredible smugness and self confidence makes me feel menopausally angry. I get this is a me thing.

Oh god please don’t call him Xander, it’s unbelievably awful and pretentious

I don't mind Lysander, but were you the poster wanting to use it with Felix?

If so, I just think they are two different moods and neither shows the other in its best light.

You can definitely use Sandy for Alexander; I'm not a huge fan of Alex and agree with your DH Xander sounds very harsh and sort of nasal.

I think Alexander and Felix go together better than Lysander and Felix.

You would need to be a certain type to pull off the name Lysander I think... I know boys who could do it, but not all!

I think Lysander is too "out there" for me. You have to be prepared for him to insist on his full name and tolerate no shortenings. Alexander would be easier to say 50 times a day than Lysander, and there'd be no risk he ends up as Lice.

I'm Scottish and know lots of Sandys and so am really surprised by the hate for it on here. It's a completely standard boys name so really, how bad can it be, it's not Balonz.

I know a lot of people do it, so not a dig at the OP, but why not name the child what you actually want to call it rather than deciding on a name and then shortening it from the off? If you want to call your son Sandy then just name him that!

Perhaps I’m biased because my parents used names that couldn’t be shortened….

Because it’s nice to have options, both DH and I use shortened versions of ours and like having the choice, both our DCs have names with long, short, shorter variations (e.g. Catherine, Cathy, Cath) as have I and all three get used for all of us.

Love Lysander but not Sandy. It’s too girly

Alexander is ok but I love Xander.

You will get the Alexander/Alexarnder/Lysander/Lysarnder with both names.

Don’t use Alexander if you don’t like Alex.

Xander is not American at all.

Another option is an alternate version of Alexander, Alsander. Much more unusual than Alexander, and dispenses with Alex as a shortening.

It's on DH's family tree so we always planned to use it for a boy, nn either Sandy or Ally, but we had girls.