Alexander/Xander or Lysander/Sandy?

[hopingforapeainapod]

DS2 due soon… I’ve always loved Alexander as a name but less of a fan of the nickname Alex, so would want to call him Xander (his brother also has a Z sound in his name, so I think they would go well together).

DH though thinks Xander is quite American, and has suggested Lysander as an alternative, with the nickname Sandy. I think Sandy is very sweet and I love the historical / literary associations of Lysander but I worry that a) Lysander is much more ‘out there’; b) Sandy is a more gender-neutral nickname and c) people will constantly mispronounce it as Ly-SARN-der rather than Ly-SAN-der.

Any thoughts??

This is MN and if you ask for a name for a boy, chances are you'll be told Alexander James.

I like Alexander in its enterity. Dislike Xander, sounds made up and faddy.
Lysander or Sandy is hideous. Truly bad.

Ok 👍 For some reason Lysander must be having its moment then! 😄 I prefer Alexander. If you don’t like Alex, then Alec is another possible shortened version. Sandy is short for Alexander (or Sandra) so you could use Xander or Sandy. You might also want to consider Xan.

😂 that too it just doesn't sound like a normal name

😆

I love Alexander/ Xander. I have one myself! He's 5 now and its really cute. I love him having the option of being Alexander or Alex if he wants when older (I'm not keen on Alex either, but will be up to him) but for now he's Xander.

I knew Lysander would be quite polarising but it’s interesting that Sandy / Xander get such mixed reactions too!

I should add that DS1 also has a gender-neutral nickname, and so I would also worry that people would hear that and Sandy and think we had 2 little girls… but maybe Sandy is more of an obvious boys’ name than I think?

I love Lysander but wasn’t quite brave enough to use it ( even though I’m Greek!)

I think Lysander/Xander works great.

Sandy is beyond terrible - the wettest of names, but the others are good.

but maybe Sandy is more of an obvious boys’ name than I think?
The ones I know are Sandy with Sandra on their BC.

Sandy is common for Alexander round these parts

I like Alexander/Xander. I don't think it's particularly American. I think it's sounds nicer than Lysander and Sandy

If you go with Alexander be prepared for him to be an Alex.
We called our Alexander Xander from day 1, introduced him as such but he still got called Alex at nursery and then school, and it is now what he prefers himself so that’s what we now call him.
I don’t mind as I like Alex but if you don’t then bear in mind you might not get a choice.

FWIW, I'm in the USA and while Xander and variants gained popularity from the character in Buffy The Vampire Slayer, the initial impression that most people have is probably of a rarer or even European name (maybe thinking also of Sander, Sándor, Sandro, etc.) I'd say most Alexanders here get shortened to Alex, sometimes Al or Lex, occasionally Sasha. (Weirdly, Sandy seems to be perceived as skewing quite feminine although it might be used for little boys, but Sasha comes across as quite unisex).

Right now Xander is actually ranked slightly higher in the UK (236) than in the USA (259). If you love Alexander/Xander most I'd go for it, unless your husband truly dislikes it. As others have pointed out, Lysander could also become Sander (probably more likely or at least more intuitive than the Xander spelling) but does NOT run the risk of Alex.

I know a couple of Alexanders whose diminutive is Sasha (as another option).

Although there might be assumptions about Russian heritage.
Sandy would make me think about Scottish heritage.

About 20 years ago (in my neck of the woods), there was somethings of a glut of “Alex’s”. It is a classic name. I associate “Zander” with The Archers. Kids will abbreviate as they wish once they get a couple of years into school (and I know plenty of people as an adult who choose to be known by their second given name outside the home).
I’d pick Xan as a diminutive name.

It’s not really something to worry about, it’d be quite rare for people to hear both your kids names without knowing their sex, and form an opinion on it. If the nicknames were going to be Emma and Jane it’d be different.

That being said, Sandy is still horrible. And also you may well not get a say anyway, the kid may choose Alex or Lee as a nickname as soon as they hit school age

I prefer Alexander

Be aware that you may use a nickname that will be family NN and he may get a different nickname at school. can happen with family - a cousins family NN is the name their toddler brother used when he was born because they couldn't pronounce the full name

@Madcats , The Archers' Xander is 'Zarnder' to one father and 'Zander' to the other father; his full name is Alexander.

It’s not really something to worry about, it’d be quite rare for people to hear both your kids names without knowing their sex, and form an opinion on it
I get the sex of young children wrong sometimes. It happens.

One thing I have learnt about nicknames is that they will chose their own. I have 2 DS and they have had a variety of nicknames and have settled on their own choice. One was my preferred nickname and one isn't. My name has several possible shortened forms and I don't respond to any of them.
Stick to the name you like best and the nickname will resolve itself as he grows.

I'd use Alexander and shorten it to Sandy, nothing lovely names

My son is Alexander. He gets called Alex, Al and Alexander.

Lysander is a character in a Jilly Cooper novel.

It makes me think 'mmm lasagne'.