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Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Can’t agree on a name - which would you choose?

49 replies

Amy1485 · 24/08/2023 10:15

Hi all,
I’m expecting a baby girl in a couple of weeks and DH and I are struggling to agree on a name.

We had agreed to Charlotte even though I didn’t think it was ‘the one’. He now refers to her as this name which isn’t really sitting right with me - I don’t know if this is my gut instinct telling me that it’s not quite right or I’m overthinking?

I love Eve and have suggested a compromise of Eve Lily (he loves Lily but we feel it’s very popular) when I would have like the middle name May as it’s a family name on my side. He thinks Eve is a bit dull but I think it’s beautiful.

This morning I asked him to stop referring to her as Charlotte and I think he was exasperated as it means we will start discussing names again. I’ve listed our shortlist below. What would you choose? I feel like just sticking with Charlotte but I don’t want to regret it.

There were a few names I loved but we removed from the short-list as he didn’t like them, which is fair enough.

Charlotte
Eve
Lily
Phoebe

thanks x

OP posts:
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EntreMummy · 24/08/2023 10:20

Honestly if you love Eve above all the others I think you should be going with that one.

all of the names you’ve listed have been fairly popular in recent years, so I wouldn’t let this be a factor that puts you off using any of them if you love them.

BrassyLocks · 24/08/2023 10:24

I like Eve.
Lily is a bit weak imo.
Phoebe feels dated to me.
Charlotte is classic but feels a little uninspired...

Whataretheodds · 24/08/2023 10:26

They're all perfectly nice names.

If you aren't agreeing on any from the list then you need to look at some others. Have you tried the app that lets you swipe on names until you find matches with each other?

Lifeinlists · 24/08/2023 10:26

Charlotte is classic and will never go out of fashion. But you do need to both agree to whichever you choose.

EvieLonglegs · 24/08/2023 10:29

I’d say Eve or variations of (Evie, Eva, Ava, Ivy) are more popular than Lily. I have a 2 year old and know lots of these and no Lily’s.

Lily Charlotte is lovely.

Topseyt123 · 24/08/2023 10:31

I'm not too keen on Phoebe, though couldn't really put a finger on why. Just not my style I guess.

Eve would be my favourite and I do like Lily as the middle name. I think it would work equally well as a middle name for Charlotte.

If you love Eve then go for it. It does seem as though Charlotte just doesn't quite work for you, but try to be a a little bit open minded as when you see your baby you might change your mind again! 😃

Needmorelego · 24/08/2023 10:38

Of those 4 I like Lily best.
I don't know any children called Lily so I don't think it's massively popular (as in she wouldn't be one of several in her class at school).
Phoebe often gets spelt wrong (Pheobe). I always have to stop and think before I write it.
Eve I think sounds harsh (not sure why) - Evie is nicer.
Charlotte is ok.... wouldn't choose it myself.
Conclusion.....go for Lily.

ClassicStripe · 24/08/2023 10:39

Eve with the nn Evie?

SecondhandSalute · 24/08/2023 10:41

If you don’t agree on any of those, rip the list up and start again. Alas.

You have loads of time! We didn’t finally agree on DS’s name till we were walking to register him, and we only finalised which order our two surnames would go in as we were sitting in front of the registrar.

Chanel05 · 24/08/2023 10:42

Charlotte... because I have one!

Peony654 · 24/08/2023 10:45

Charlotte, if you are happy with the shortened versions of the name. Otherwise Eve is lovely. Personally I think referring to an unborn baby by a name is a bit weird, but I'm very paranoid!

Amy1485 · 24/08/2023 10:50

Peony654 · 24/08/2023 10:45

Charlotte, if you are happy with the shortened versions of the name. Otherwise Eve is lovely. Personally I think referring to an unborn baby by a name is a bit weird, but I'm very paranoid!

I feel like this too, I don’t understand why he doesn’t refer to her as ‘the baby’ like I do.

OP posts:
Amy1485 · 24/08/2023 10:56

Thanks all for the comments. I’d be happy to wait until she’s here but DH is keen to finalise a name now - I’ll speak to him again as I don’t think this is a reason to pick a name right this minute!

I do like Charlotte as it’s so timeless, not sure if the pregnancy hormones are making me doubt myself.

We both like Lily, realise it’s not as popular as say Amelia or Olivia but I didn’t really want something top ten.

Acknowledge the comments of Evie being v popular

OP posts:
DuploTrain · 24/08/2023 11:00

I love Eve.

Charlotte is okay, I know it’s “timeless” in the sense that it’s been used for a long time, but i associate it with 80s-90s personally, I went to school with a few.

What about Eve Charlotte? Nice to have a longer middle name to balance Eve.

I also don’t like calling the baby a real name until it’s born, even if it’s decided. We’re 99% decided on a name and don’t even have a backup name but still call the baby a nickname or “the baby”.

KirstenBlest · 24/08/2023 11:01

It seems that every pregnant woman on MN has a Rose, May or Grace as a family name that they want to use as a middle name.

pinkyredrose · 24/08/2023 11:05

How about Eva?

SoupDragon · 24/08/2023 11:09

I love Eve. It always seems slightly mysterious to me.

KirstenBlest · 24/08/2023 11:18

Charlotte - timeless
Eve - like Eve and Evie. I don't like Eva, Evelyn, Ava or Ivy at all.
Lily - pretty but overused and not keen on Lil
Phoebe - fine, not keen on Phoebs

Wait until she is here, you might decide on a completely different name when you see her. She might look like an Emma, Margaret or Hermione or something Do not give her a name until you are absolutely sure.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 24/08/2023 11:20

you both have to like the name- I’d keep looking. Also I wouldn’t put pressure on confirming before she gets here- a short list will do.

I like all you names except Lily! Can’t bear the name, agree it sounds weak.

Beautifulsunflowers · 24/08/2023 11:23

The thing with Charlotte is that’s there’s lots of variations - Charlie, Lottie …..
so does give you more options

Nutsabouttopic · 24/08/2023 11:27

If you like Eve would your DH maybe like Niamh ( Neeve)
I love Charlotte
I liked Lily until I met so many dogs called Lily
Phoebe wouldn't be my choice

becarefulofyourheart · 24/08/2023 11:35

Eve is a lovely name and so is Charlotte. But what happens if she’s born and she doesn’t give Eve or Charlotte energy at all? We had two elegant girly-girl names we were almost certain DD would be and one ‘probably not’ outlier. She came busting out wide-eyed and calm, gazing at everyone like she’d been born many times before, and suddenly the favourite two names were totally wrong. The midwife made the call in the end, and picked the outlier😜 Might be worth waiting to meet her before making it a final choice.

TheBeesKnee · 24/08/2023 11:52

It's a strange thing because even though I love the name we gave our baby it was SO weird to use it at first.

If you both like Lily then use it. Who cares if it's popular, everyone tries so hard to be different that even if a name is popular you're unlikely to meet many of them because there isn't the volume.

KirstenBlest · 24/08/2023 12:20

Bear in mind that if you use the stats on Darkgreener, they only cover England & Wales, and they only show data for each name recorded. Eve shows up quite low, but if you add the figures for Eve+Evie+Evelyn it will be much higher.

Theo and Theodore separately don't seem popular, but add them together and it is far more popular than the #1 name.

If you want the popularity in your area, go to the ONS baby names page and scroll about .75 of a page down and there's a map.