Disagreeing with husband

[New30]

Hi

After multiple miscarriages and a difficult pregnancy our baby girl arrived over a week ago. The problem I now have is she ha no name. There is absolutely nothing that husband and I can agree on. He likes names that sound good in multiple languages, Cleo, Celia etc, I prefer plain and simple like Jenny and Charlotte. Help?!? How do we come to an agreement and can anyone suggest a name we might not of considered? I am getting really very upset by the situation

@TheDaydreamBelievers

You're both being pretty inflexible if you can't agree on Sarah/Sara! That's the same name!

My grandmother was Sarah. It is important to me. If not as first name as middle name.

Your tastes really don't seem that far apart.

I think you should get a list of the top 100 names, and each select any that you could stomach at all. Then look for crossover and rank any on both lists.

If Sarah is important to you and he likes Sara why don't you spell it Sara but pronounce it Sarah?

Surely you just go for Sarah. That's virtually the same name and your spelling has special meaning to you.

I think probably the majority are right in that some form or Eliza/eleanor and Sara/Sarah is the right thing

Claire / Clare
Clara
Isabel / Isobel
Michelle
Matilda
Juliette
Julitta
Zara
Serena
Anya
Ada
Beatrice
Lucy / Luci (or variant of eg Lucette, Lucia)
Dulcie
Alisa or Alyssa
Elisa
Ella
Helene / Helena
Ellora
Leonore
Adela
Mary / Marie / Maria
Flora
Esme
Esther
Estelle / Estella
Faye
Grace
Joan
Hera
Corryn
Roana

Eloise?

The only Sara I know pronounces it as Sarah so I would pick that and toss a coin for which spelling. If he compromises on pronouncing it as Sarah can you compromise on spelling it Sara?

Otherwise Anna or Anya might work or Elizabeth with Eliza as a nickname?

babyname-app.com/

There’s this tinder like app, it alerts you when you get a match.

How about Ella as a cross between the ‘el’ start and ‘ah’ end? Elena is also beautiful.

Clara could also work well. Try not to get too upset about the naming. I know it’s hard but you and your baby are well and you have time. A friend of mine settled on a name quite quickly then three months down the line they changed it. I’m sure you’ll come up with something that feels right 🙂

I'm assuming the child is getting his last name? So you pick the first name!

Carla or Carlotta
Helen
Ellen
Hannah or Hana
Francesca/Frankie
Elsa
Annika/Annie

Zara?

Your names don't seem so far apart.
Our oldest child has a name which was not on either of our top 20s but is a good compromise name. We then picked a middle name each so she has two middle names - and we each love one of them...

Your list:
Ruth - ok but always seems a bit dull
Jenny - ok but very dated. Would Genevieve work as a compromise name here?
Fern - again feels quite dated to me
Cora - lovely. Would Cara work as a compromise? Although neither really work with Sarah as a mn
Alice - lovely
Aine - feels quite different from the others on this list. It's ok but not very "pretty" sounding
Charlotte - lovely
Pippa - lovely
Sarah - ok
Eleanor - lovely

His list
Alma - not keen
Celia - lovely but I prefer Cecilia - would that work as a compromise name?
Clementine - lovely
Cleo - lovely
Darcy - don't like at all
Eliza - lovely
Fleur - lovely
Isaline- not nice
Josephine - lovely
Mabel - lovely
Penelope - lovely
Remi - not keen
Ren- not keen
Sara - ok
Zoe - lovely

I could imagine lots of these names eg Josephine, Zoe, Eliza, Mabel being on the same list as Charlotte, Eleanor, Alice etc.

How about:
Elizabeth
Catherine
Lucia/Lucy
Sophia/Sophie
Emma/Emily/Emmeline
Elspeth
Harriet
Martha
Miranda/Miriam nn Miri
Susannah
Thea
Beatrice
Florence/Flora

Choose for her 4 names.
I did for my daughter. She likes them all and can call herself what she wants later.
If you start with a coin and you get first choice if you win etc and so forth with alternating choices.
As for carrying her for 9 months - rubbish way of thinking - and counter-productive.
Oh, its only a name and she will be what she will be.
Are you intent on controlling whether she is a mummy's girl or a daddy's girl ?

If you like Jenny, could you not compromise on Penelope nn Penny?

Pippa doesn't work in some languages because it has sexual connotations. Are you giving her one or more middle names?

Suggestions if you're giving one:
Cordelia Sarah nn Cora
Elizabeth Sarah nn Eliza
Chloe Sarah
Genevieve Sarah nn Genny
Josephine Sarah nn Josie
Gwendolyn Sarah nn Gwen
Evelyn Sarah

Suggestions if you're giving two (I've used Name instead of suggesting a second middle name):
Sylvie Name Sarah
Sylvia Name Sarah
Celeste Name Sarah
Isla Name Sarah

@New30 I'm a Sara as my parents couldn't agree on the Sara/Sarah versions, so it's spelt the s-ah-ra way and pronounced the s-air-rah way. Could you do something similar?

Middle name is Elizabeth so both your Sara/Sarah Eliza/Eleanor work perfectly (but then I'm biased!)

Here's a super long list of suggestions for you.

Thea
Phoebe
Anna
Catherine
Willow
Sophia
Molly
Adeline
Georgina
Harriet
Florence
Matilda
Erin
Delilah
Imogen
Elodie
Victoria
Maeve
Ivy
Jessica
Hazel
Martha
Alexandra
Polly
Sadie
Rebecca
Evelyn
Maria
Rosemary
Paige
Betsy
Natalia
Celine
Adelaide
Lucia
Francesca
Bella
Clara
Rosalie
Ada
Bethany
Maisie
Cecilia
Esther
Heidi
Madeline
Penny
Nancy
Gabriella
Sasha
Beatrice
Felicity

Sometimes you have to just spend a bit of time with a name to be able to warm to it. I hated the name Paige until I recently met a lovely little baby with the name who really suits it, and now I quite like it. Read through my list and see if there's any you hadn't thought of - write them down, share the ones you like with your husband and see if there's any you can agree on.

Your lists are really similar styles, for the most part. Suggestions:

Harriet
Violet
Elise
Florence
Cordelia
Calista
Polly
Tess/Tessa
Rachel
Grace
Mary
Hannah
Abigail

@New30

I think probably the majority are right in that some form or Eliza/eleanor and Sara/Sarah is the right thing

Yes, or Anna is close to a couple of your choices and very international, Philippa nn Pippa also pretty international

Julia, Caroline, Emma, Sophia, Mary, Louisa, Francesca, Alexandra, Catherine, Clara, Olivia, Isabel / Isabella, would all be examples of names traditionally used in the uk but with strong international recognition

Names from both your lists were on our girl list. We also liked Robyn, Libby, Heather, Marta and Rosa. Good luck, it's tough but try not to stress and enjoy your new baby for a bit. Try a few different names on her to see if any stick.