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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Same name as good friend's child?

53 replies

CakeCrumbs78 · 08/08/2018 12:38

Expecting baby number two soon, and if it is a girl ( we chose not to find out the sex) my husband has a clear favourite name, which I also really like.

However, it is the same name as the 2 year old daughter of good friends of ours. By good friends I mean that although we only see them one or twice year as we've lived at different ends of the country post-university, we go on holiday together and crucially I think, we are her godparents. The name is ranked in the top 100, but high in the rankings ( i.e top 80 or 90)

I think we can't use it, DH is adamant that it's not a problem, but I don't trust his judgement on this one.

What do people think?

OP posts:

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RideOn · 08/08/2018 12:41

Definitely ok to use it.
If it is a close relative /uncle /cousin or someone you see weekly basis I think reconsider.

FelicityFoxworth · 08/08/2018 12:42

I wouldn't use it , no. Shows a distinct lack of imagination.

I know that nobody owns a name but to name your own child after your goddaughter probably isn't a good idea. If I was your friend, I'd wonder why you couldn't choose you 'own' name

GreenMeerkat · 08/08/2018 12:43

What is the name? Are there any similar names or nicknames you could use instead?

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 08/08/2018 12:43

I don't know. In your friends shoes I think I'd be a bit surprised that you'd chose the same name as my DD out of all the other names you could have chosen from.

Could you ask them to gauge their reaction?

Pebblesandfriends · 08/08/2018 12:44

I wouldn't. If a Friend did this to me I would think they were really weird.

Enko · 08/08/2018 12:44

I would use it if you live that far apart it wouldnt cause issues for long. In 10-15 years time the children are unlikely to meet up anyway

Knittedfairies · 08/08/2018 12:53

My very good friend chose to use my son’s name. She rang me to ask if it was ok to do so; of course it was! I don’t own the name and it’s definitely not ewneek. I see her often, but it has never been an issue. Incidentally my daughter has the same name as our neighbour’s child, although we only moved here when she was 18 months old. Again, never an issue.
I’m with your DH; use the name.

AtticaRose · 08/08/2018 12:54

I would use it - but I might also have a discreet conversation with the friend to get their take on it.

If it were me, I'd have no problems with it, but maybe some would and it's probably not worth falling out over.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 08/08/2018 13:07

I wouldn't bat an eyelid. You only see them twice a year and you probably won't carry on holidaying together forever.

I'm with your DH. If someone named their child the same as one of ours, I would vaguely think that it was nice that we liked the same name and that would be it.

continuallychargingmyphone · 08/08/2018 13:10

I’d say it was best avoided to be honest.

ZebraKid71 · 08/08/2018 13:40

I wouldnt personally. And I'd find it a bit strange if my daughters godparents used my dds name for their own child.

What is the name? I'd find some names more acceptable to use than others.

Twickerhun · 08/08/2018 13:52

I wouldn’t mind if it was one of my dc’s names. God parent and holiday companions or not.
Can you sound them out?

17caterpillars1mouse · 08/08/2018 13:56

I was all for saying just use the name until you mentioned she's your goddaughter. I wouldn't give my child the same name as my godchild, I would find it weird

BonnieLass5 · 08/08/2018 16:44

I wouldn't because I would want to choose a name that was special to me and not look like I had no imagination.

What is the name? I'm sure there will be other names you like.

DC2018 · 08/08/2018 16:50

I personally wouldn't especially since you go on holiday etc together. It would be really confusing and your friends may be a bit miffed. I'd be a tad annoyed if my friend gave her child the same name as mine but I might just be unreasonable x

dinosaurkisses · 08/08/2018 16:56

I wouldn’t- you’re her godparents!

That suggests to me that her parents see you as an important part of her/their lives, and a continued relationship is expected. It isn’t the same as a neighbour using the same name or an old school friend you haven’t seen in years.

I’d be very weirded out if either of dd’s Godparents used the same name (similar popularity level)- it would seem like they had little imagination and hadn’t thought to look at a baby name book.

MerryDeath · 08/08/2018 17:01

there are a lot of names out there. i'd try a bit harder to be original for such an important part of my unique child's identity.

Original poster

CakeCrumbs78 · 08/08/2018 17:13

Thanks for all the views so far

Don't want to say the name, but along the lines of Anna/Clara/Rose.

Our friends are very polite, so even if they DID think "wtf?" they would never let on, but that doesn't make me feel any less uncomfortable about it

OP posts:

ReginaPhalange89 · 08/08/2018 17:21

Yeah I wouldn't. Is there a name variation of it you could use, something that sounds similar?

MariaMadita · 08/08/2018 17:26

It wouldn't matter imo. I'd certainly still use it :)

You might want to politely inform (inform, not tell...) her before announcing the name... But that really depends on how close you are.

PanannyPanoo · 08/08/2018 18:12

My son only sees his godparents a couple of times a year. I think I would think it was lovely if they called their child the same name.
Show's we have the same taste and gives an additional link.

peachypetite · 08/08/2018 18:51

I think it's weird.

Notonthestairs · 08/08/2018 18:58

My god daughter has the name we had talked about for DD - we chose a different name but I still prefer the first name.

Pressuredrip · 08/08/2018 19:03

I think you need to ask them. We planned a particular unusual girls name with each one but had two boys but by the time we had a girl, we then knew a girl with our favourite name quite well. We could have asked to use it, and maybe would have if it was a top 100 name or we couldn't find anything else. But we settled for something else in the end.

Dontrocktheboat · 08/08/2018 19:05

I wouldn't use it personally as it wouldn't feel special to me if someone had used it first and it does show a lack of imagination. I would also have been more than a bit put out if I were your friend. Even more so if she is your goddaughter - there are lots of lovely names of the style you mention, why not choose something similar but more individual to you.

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