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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Same name as good friend's child?

53 replies

CakeCrumbs78 · 08/08/2018 12:38

Expecting baby number two soon, and if it is a girl ( we chose not to find out the sex) my husband has a clear favourite name, which I also really like.

However, it is the same name as the 2 year old daughter of good friends of ours. By good friends I mean that although we only see them one or twice year as we've lived at different ends of the country post-university, we go on holiday together and crucially I think, we are her godparents. The name is ranked in the top 100, but high in the rankings ( i.e top 80 or 90)

I think we can't use it, DH is adamant that it's not a problem, but I don't trust his judgement on this one.

What do people think?

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Thiswayorthatway · 08/08/2018 19:07

Of course you can use the name!

RoboJesus · 08/08/2018 19:09

Just use a variant. Like if both kids are called Beth one could actually be Elizabeth and one could actually be Bethany. Different but the same.

snowsun · 08/08/2018 19:12

I think because you feel uncomfortable about using it , it's not the right name for your baby.

hamzilla · 08/08/2018 19:16

I wouldn't use it. In the same way I wouldn't choose the name of a niece or nephew.

LemonSqueezy0 · 08/08/2018 19:22

It's the fact its the same name as your god daughter that would put me off. There must be other names you like..

MiniSunshine · 08/08/2018 19:24

I wouldn't do it personally. I'd find it a bit odd if I made someone a godmother of my daughter and then they used the same name!

AuntieStella · 08/08/2018 19:27

I would keep trying to come up with a different name, because I think this (godparent/holidaying together) is a bit too close, unless there really are no other names that you both like enough, in which case you just get on with it.

ifigoup · 08/08/2018 19:33

I don’t think it’s a huge breach of etiquette or anything, but I do think it’s quite unimaginative, to be honest.

Also, if I were your friends, I’d think it meant you didn’t anticipate having much to do with your godchild long-term, and that would make me sad.

TheDowagerCuntess · 08/08/2018 19:42

I wouldn't be bothered if someone did this, using my DC's name, but would never use a friend's DC's name. Just no.

It would make more sense if you wanted to use the name because you were naming your child after a special person, or the name had significance to you in some way. Then you'd just call up your friends and explain, see what they thought, and go from there.

As it is, if you do really need to use the name - and genuinely can't find another name amongst the zillions out there that you both like - you do still need to contact them, and try to read between the lines as to whether they're genuinely OK with it. You do have to make this effort, given the names is your Goddaughter's.

And if you don't feel like you want to do that ^^ then there's your answer.

Bythepath · 08/08/2018 19:50

2 months after I had DC1 a friend of my DH named his child the same. They said they hadn't chosen a name and when they heard ours they loved it (not unusual ranked about 60). I couldn't care less, I love the name.

Thiswayorthatway · 08/08/2018 21:20

No-one owns a name......

PennyGH · 08/08/2018 21:51

I think you could still use it, but only if you asked them first. It could be seen as really sweet - but I agree with a previous poster about the significance of the godparent connection. You can’t just use it without asking them first. Also, if you use it, definitely ask them to be godparents! That’ll sort out any weirdness and make them a part of the decision.

buttercup54321 · 08/08/2018 21:56

She is your Goddaughter. Choose a different name.

HeyDolly · 09/08/2018 02:06

She’s your god daughter. There’s thousands of other names out there. Surely you can both find another name that you love which isn’t the same as your god daughter’s.

Mousefunky · 09/08/2018 02:17

No, I wouldn’t and I’d find it really weird if one of my friends chose the same name as one of my DC regardless of how often we saw one another.

sonnyboo · 09/08/2018 07:12

No I definitely wouldn't use it. She's your goddaughter

sonnyboo · 09/08/2018 07:13

There are literally thousands of names, hopefully you can find a name for your daughter, she deserves her own name.

Rainbowqueeen · 09/08/2018 07:17

Another one who wouldn’t use it as a first name. However I think it would be fine to use as a middle nane

Yeaididthat · 09/08/2018 11:23

We have a family full of Johns, Davids, Anns, Margarets, Elizabeth's

Whenever a cousin has a baby that's another Ella/Ellie/Emily, eva no-one bats an eyelid.

I don't see the harm, especially if you mention it first.

duckyfuzzz · 09/08/2018 14:21

Within my generation of cousins in my family there's an emilia, emily, Ellie, Amy, Amelia, Mia. No one cares

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 09/08/2018 14:39

No I wouldn't use it, there's so many other names out there, as much as you like the name, it will only remind you of the other child first, before your daughter. Give her another name that will become " her" name.

OlennasWimple · 09/08/2018 21:10

I would only use it if there was a clear reason to do so other than you really liking it (naming after your granny or similar).

What about using it as a middle name instead?

Snoopychildminder · 09/08/2018 21:28

Have it as a middle name?

Watchingtheworldgoby · 10/08/2018 01:22

NO!!!! I think it would be really poor form and even if you asked if you could use the name, they would have no option but to say it was ok/they don't own the name/its in the top one hundred or whatever but inwardly if it was me, I'd be unhappy about it. The name is their little girl's name. If you love it so much, use it as a second name but really there are thousands of other names out there. You don't have to pick the same one as your godchild!

RedDwarves · 10/08/2018 03:28

There's no way I would do this. No, she doesn't own the name, but there are thousands of names out there, so surely this isn't the only one you like?

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