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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

MIL opinion on name choice

52 replies

upallnight2015 · 28/01/2015 18:29

hi,
just wondering how much people take other's opinions on boards when picking names? DH and I were pleased to have picked a potential name for our first baby, if it's a boy (Leo) which we both love. MIL has been extremely vocal, asking are we joking, saying we couldn't possibly be serious etc, she doesn't like it at all, and sent FIL round to ask we not use the name.
She does suffer with depression and sometimes says things other people would not say, so I'm trying not to take this personally . But I really don't want to pick a different name, as we love it. I'm presuming she will just get used to it. Is that what most people would do under these circumstances?

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cathpip · 28/01/2015 18:30

She's had her turn naming children, she gets absolutely no say in naming yours and tough if she doesn't like it!

AnnieOnAMapleLeaf · 28/01/2015 18:31

It is your child and your decision what you name him. Your MIL can either like it or lump it.

Besides, my DS is Leo and it is an absolutely fabulous name!

Nolim · 28/01/2015 18:31

Most people say what a lovely name and shut up even if they dont like it

fizzzog · 28/01/2015 18:31

I would be upset too, when I tell anyone a potential name and they grimace I take it personally. However Leo is on my boys short list so don't change it!

DarkBlueEyes · 28/01/2015 18:33

Tell her to bog off and next time keep your name choice secret until you name the baby. Interfering old bag.

Mrsteddyruxpin · 28/01/2015 18:33

My mother is also quite depressed and vocal. She didn't like our boys name choice and it did influence me. However, I was on the fence about the name.

Once he was born he got a different name. Leo is lovely.

I am quite stubborn so if I wasn't on the fence, I would have gone for initial choice. If you love it, go for it. I cannot see why she wouldn't like Leo. Maybe she would prefer a longer version you could shorten (not that you need to)

ISolemnlySwearImUptoNoGood · 28/01/2015 18:33

Don't worry. I faced criticism for my name choices too. It stinks. It feels horrible and it's unfair.

But, it's your choice. Don't change it unless you want to because you've changed your mind.

They will learn to live with it.

HelloItsStillMeFell · 28/01/2015 18:34

Your DH needs to tell her to wind her neck in and STFU. She's had her turn.

loislines · 28/01/2015 18:34

Absolutely stick to the name you both like. It isn't up to anyone else and finding names is hard enough! If it was a very unusual or odd name then maybe other people's opinions would be useful, but Leo is a good solid name.

3littlebadgers · 28/01/2015 18:34

My mum was horrendous, first three dc I tried my best to keep everyone happy, this time round as long as DH and I like it I could 't give a fig.

seaoflove · 28/01/2015 18:36

Your baby, your call.

I had an auntie saying our boy name (Felix) is horrible and cruel and and and... do I give a shit? No

It's very rude to slag off a name, especially when it's a perfectly nice, normal name.

magpieginglebells · 28/01/2015 18:36

Tell her to fuck off! Why did fil even play along, that's just as bad.

Leo is a lovely name.

iklboo · 28/01/2015 18:36

'Have I introduced you to my friends? Meet (raise middle finger) Fuck and (raise index finger) Off'.

seaoflove · 28/01/2015 18:37

And yes, MIL will get used to it.

HoldenCaulfield80 · 28/01/2015 18:37

My MiL didn't like our choice for DD and was quite vocal about it at first. Think someone may have had a quiet word because now she loves it

anothernumberone · 28/01/2015 18:43

Yes MIL aired her views. Ironic because through misplaced loyalty we used her name as the Middle name. We never uttered the name until she was actually born nor would I ever. We told them about a car we were thinking of buying once and we had to listen for 2 hours about other cars we should buy. We learned our lesson and never discussed any purchase with then again. A name discussion would have been the exact same.

WhyNotSmile · 28/01/2015 18:45

The only time I would take someone's opinion on board would be of the name we had chosen had very traumatic associations for them, eg if it was the name of an abusive ex-partner, or a sibling who had died or something like that. If it's just that they don't particularly like the name, then I wouldn't be put off it - although if there were two names I liked equally, then I guess if people hated one of them then I'd choose the other.

5madthings · 28/01/2015 18:48

My mil didn't like our name choices, I refer her once commemting it would have been nice if "one of her grandchildren had been given a name I liked". I just bit my tongue, she is lovely really, just has very different taste in names to dp and myself. Pretty sure she has grown to like the madthings names now :)

SweepTheHalls · 28/01/2015 18:49

This is why we didn't tell anyone what names we were even considering. It takes a spectacularly rude person to slag of a baby being presented with a name.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 28/01/2015 18:49

None at all.

And they would get told to fuck off

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 28/01/2015 18:50

MIL has no right whatsoever to have a say in your child's name. My PILS BEGGED me to include the name Arthur in our son's name as it had been in the family for years. We refused as we both loathe the name.

imip · 28/01/2015 18:52

Tbh, if you start making concessions like this before your baby is born, it is going to be really difficult to do things 'your' way after the baby arrives.

This is the name you will be using for YOUR baby for the rest of your life - def. should be a name you and dh love! Congrats...,

Violettatrump · 28/01/2015 18:53

It was a bit silly of you to tell her the name pre birth. If she asks again just say you don't want to discuss it. And change the topic of conversation.

Of course you must name him Leo. They made their name choices when they had your DH

JapaneseMargaret · 28/01/2015 18:54

Agree, it's always a bad idea to tell people before the birth, because if they're in any way clueless/socially inept, they will freely tell you they don't like it.

We announced both DCs' names when they were born, and the names were simply accepted.

Chesterado · 28/01/2015 18:58

A colleagues used a great analogy that when you are told the name of someone's baby it's like when you see a bride on her wedding day - you say how lovely/wonderful/beautiful regardless of what you really think - any thing else is plain rude!

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