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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Just a sad dissapointed thread because i cant and would never sayanything in rl

42 replies

addictediam · 29/07/2011 08:21

My sisters baby is due anyday now and she doesnt know the sex.

She is English and her husband Scottish (although he has always lived in england as have his parents and their parents) My sister has a fasination with Japan and already has a dd with a very lovley sounding Japaneese name

But she has just announced that if the baby is a girl she is going to call her oumai (I'm not sure on the spelling but its pronounced you-may). My mum has tried to talk her out of it but she has her heart set on it.

My neice is going to be bullied for the rest of her life . Is it bad i'm praying for a boy (even if it does mean I have to find a new name for my baby!)

Just tell me I'm being unreasonable to be this upset about it, its her baby, her name and i need to get over it.

OP posts:

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DuelingFanjo · 29/07/2011 08:25

you are really over-reacting. Your neice won't be bullied or the rest of her life.

CandiceMariePratt · 29/07/2011 08:26

I think it's quite nice

DillyTante · 29/07/2011 08:26

Why do you think she will be bullied for the rest of her life? People just become their names when people get to know them. Think you are overreacting.

Tortoiseonthehalfshell · 29/07/2011 08:27

It's fine. And if she hates it, which she shouldn't because it's a nice name, she can always be one of the three trillion 'Mae's out there instead.

ellangirl · 29/07/2011 08:28

It's a strange choice for someone not japanese I have to admit, but if she has her heart set on it you might as well just go with it. Perhaps she might be called 'mai' for short. If a child is going to be bullied, they will be anyway, regardless of their name. It's your sisters choice, so try not to give it another thought, because you don't want to affect your relationship with her over something relatively insignificant.

Bandwithering · 29/07/2011 08:31

It's horrible but she probably won't be bullied! she'll have a nightmare introducing herself when she's older, people will hear the recognisable sound 'May' in there and think she said that.

It's probably like Brenda or Maureen in Japan. I wonder what a Japanese person would think of that choice.

Original poster

addictediam · 29/07/2011 08:34

I'm not going to say anything to her i know its her choice, maybe bullied was the wrong woord. I think she will be teased, i have a rather pretty unusual name (partly named after an actor) and I guess after years of kids going on and on about it and getting quite down, i dont want the same for dn.

the name itself looks quite pretty its just the way my sister is saying its pronounced you-may. I can already hear the comments from the other children in my head.

OP posts:

Bandwithering · 29/07/2011 08:34

ps are you pregnant too? do you and your sister have the same name in mind for a boy? so,,,,,, your sister is only going to use a Japanese name for a girl??

(I am deducing this because you say you hope your sister has a boy, even though that would mean yo'd have to find a new name for your baby).

Original poster

addictediam · 29/07/2011 08:38

yes, i'm pg too, if my sister has a boy he will have a very popular english name that i want for my baby! (I dont want to say what it is because of the unusualness of her girls name it may out us and that wouldnt be fair on my sister)

I only found out yesterday that we are thinking of the same name for a boy!

OP posts:

proudfoot · 29/07/2011 08:39

You're overreacting. It is up to her and I don't see the problem.

LynetteScavo · 29/07/2011 08:40

It sounds like a very pretty name to me. Why on earth would she be bullied?

And your BIL is Scottish, even though he, and his parents and grandparents have always lived in England? I'm sorry, but I really think that means he English.

EightiesChick · 29/07/2011 08:42

It might not be as bad as you think but I get where you are coming from. My advice would be to start suggesting nice middle names and having a discussion about that with your sister, so that if she has a daughter she will have a fallback to go to. Always best not to try and persuade people away from names they have set their heart on - you have ONE chance to say something, IMO, but if you go beyond that it never ends well.

Original poster

addictediam · 29/07/2011 08:43

Lynette i think hes English but he is adiment that he's Scottish, and gets rather upset if anyone says hes English

I did correct myself and say bullied was too strong a word, she would be teased. I guess i just think that because of my own expiearences

OP posts:

Bandwithering · 29/07/2011 08:44

i think it a tiny bit alright, they are a british couple who will give their girls a japanese name, but their boy a sensible british name??? it makes it seem like they view naming girls as a fun game, a chance to express their love of Japan (even though their daughters may not think twice about japan) but a boy? a boy needs a normal name. Naming a boy is a serious business afterall.

Sorry I'm probably being unfair to your sister there, but on the face of it.........

startail · 29/07/2011 08:45

Non of the family liked my cousins name, but the diminutive of it she uses suits her totally. She could not be anything else.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 29/07/2011 08:45

I can't quite see the problem with the name. Is it not pronounced the way that your sis is saying it? Is that the issue? Otherwise it's lovely [c

Bandwithering · 29/07/2011 08:45

Also, if the baby IS a boy, are they going to have an (I don't know) Yakuro and a Giles?

Hulababy · 29/07/2011 08:46

I work with children with a whole variety of names, many from different countries/cultures. Sometimes the children are also from that country, sometimes it's just the name that is not a typical English name.

These children are not being teased and bullied because of their names at all.

I think yabu. Ok, if you don't liek it, fair enough. But to be sad that she'll be bullied for it beefore she is even here is a bit ott for me, sorry. There is no reason why the little one should be bullied over her name.

And to be blunt - ANY child can end up being bullied for any number of reasons. name is just one very small minor reason compared to everything else out there children decide to taunt one another about.

Bandwithering · 29/07/2011 08:48

ps, the scottish father gets upset when people call him English!!, little does he know everybody at the school/ballet/stagecoach/brownies is wondering if he's japanese!! McJapanese.

TheSecondComing · 29/07/2011 08:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bandwithering · 29/07/2011 08:56

I do think there's a slight difference between using an Irish name or an Italian name and using a Japanese name though!!!! Just my opinion. I would think, if my child were brought up in Italy/Ireland/Spain/JAPAN.... would they obviously be foreign???????? It's just a personal thing but I'd use Conor or Maeve if I were English, I'd use Giulia or Isabella or Paloma but I wouldn't use a name from another continent I guess.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 29/07/2011 08:56

The other thing is, at what point does someone who is third generation English born become English and not Scottish?

razzlebathbone · 29/07/2011 08:58

I think you are being very odd.

Is your BIL Rod Stewart?

Original poster

addictediam · 29/07/2011 09:37

as per my thread title. i would never say anything to my sister. i know i'm probably being ott and unreasonable. just from my personal expearience i cant help but feel sad for the girl.

band - my sis names the girls and bil names the boys thats what they've decided. i think its odd, but then alot of their family dynamic i dont personally agree with. again i would never say anything to her or bil or my neice and their new child.

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basingstoke · 29/07/2011 09:42

Children, even quite old ones, are remarkably relaxed about names. I teach secondary, and it really isn't a factor in how people react to you. Children are bullied, but not over names. Teachers on the other hand can be disturbingly nasty about names.

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