Dilemma with SIL over boys name.

[sassy34264]

Sil recently (may) had DS. She decided on the mane Lewis whilst pregnant, when he was born James and the 2 weeks after he was born changed it to Simon. He was registered as Simon James.
I am 32+5 with twins. We had a name picked for a boy and a girl from the beginning and our boy was to have James as a middle name. (no problems so far) However, when SIL called her little boy James and then changed it to Simon, my DP said he realised he really liked the name James and if we were to have 2 boys he wanted our original choice and James. I agreed. (James is a big family name on both our sides).
When i visited MIL on thursday she said SIL was on about changing Simon to Lewis by deed poll. I made the mistake told MIL our change of plans: by Monday Simon had become James again. (MIL hated the name simon)
Mentioned it to Sil and she acted like she didn't know (can't tell whether she did or not).
I told DP over the phone last night (he works away) and he is adamant that if we have 2 boys we are still going ahead with James.
I have said your parents can't have 2 grandsons with the same name, but my mum just pointed out that people call their children after themselves, so some people have a son and a granson/daughter with the same name....what's the difference?
Problem is SIL may keep changing (she is 18yr old) or may change cos we're adamant and then there might only be 1 boy, so not an issue.
What do you think? (It has taken us this long to agree on a 2nd boys name, so not easily changed)

My brother and my first cousin have the same name. My brother also married someone with th same name as me. Never caused any trouble. As you say, many people have the same name as their dad.
Your SIL's name choice needs to be irrelevant to you, as it looks like she'll keep changing it if you do!
I would concentrate on looking forward to your new arrivals and not get bogged down in this.

If you think SIL is picking James because you like it, I'd tell her you've changed your mind and are thinking of, say, David, and see what she does.

If you think she just likes James and wants it for that simple reason I'm afraid I don't think you could have cousins both called James as it would be too confusing.

I guess though you might have one Jim and one Jamie. Hmmm don't know. Sorry

Bertie Don't think she is picking James because we like it. She never knew James was our choice for the middle name of our original boys name. My MIL referred to him as Jimmy a couple of times and SIL hated that. That is what made her change it to Simon. However my MIL hated Simon and made it very known....saying Siiiiiiiiimon and saying he would get called simple.
I think (and both my DP and my mum thought this before i did) that my MIL has said to SIL, your brother is going to use the name James, so you will be stuck with Simon if you don't move quick.
When i told her our choice for 2 girls she said i like...... Meaning she didn't like the other! Told her she would have to lump it.

Tell her you've decided to call yours Aloysius or Diggory, and see if she goes for that....

No seriously, you'll be OK. Go with what you want. As someone pointed out already you could have Jim, Jimmy, Jamie, James etc.

DH, his dad and two of his cousins all have exactly the same name (first name AND surname). They are Irish, but he somehow coped.

imarriedafrog No worries on that score really. i get on really well with MIL and DP is not a mummies boy at all, so would do whatever he wanted with no influence and would not let them attack me/take it out on me.

Sassy, I have two first cousins on the same side both called Mark. There is about 16 years between them though. With the younger Mark, my aunt's (ex) husband really liked the name so it obviously didn't put them off, but I guess your age gap is much, much smaller. Good luck.

Keep quiet about your name choice, and if asked be vague "we're thinking maybe David or Arthur" - don't mention James again.

SIL will probably change her child's name again, and if she doesn't, call yours James anyway if you like it. MIL can call SIL's DS Jimmy and yours James.

thenextmrsdepp
I hate Jimmy, Jim and Jamie! I already know Sil hates Jimmy and Jim. Could get DP to persuade her to call him Jamie.

By the way, couldn't you be ThefirstMrsDepp?
He's never married her, so maybe he's waiting to meet you.

sassy34264 - in my dreams, in my dreams.... as soon as he dumps that silly french trollope!

Actually, I think Jim is quite cool, my friend has one.

Call him James. At the end of the day they wont be living in the same house so whats the problem. And children quite like having the same names, it might help them bond better when they get a bit older and SILs DS wont feel left out by his twin cousins.

I have a friend who has a son called Jake/Jacob her DH has a DS from his first marriage with the same name so when they are together one is called Jacob and one is called Jake.

You might find that one of the James' ends up being called by a nickname and it will never be an issue.

Suggest put it out of your mind until SIL has finished prevaricating. You have a little time. Maybe another name will spring out at you.

Call him James....shorten it to Jamie [ex flame swoon emotion]

Your SIL will get over it.

I always regret not calling my DS Samuel because a friend who was due at the same time wanted it and declared it first! I future I wont be considering friends and family.

If you don't like any of the nicknames for James then perhaps you should stick to using it as a middle name... DD's Reception class has 4 Jameses who've either adopted their full name i.e. James Smith, initial - James A. or Jamie/Jimmy. None of them is known as James!

True, there are a lot of James about. Maybe Diggory wasn't such a bad idea.

I have a friend whose dad and uncle (his brother) are BOTH called Thomas!

When Dh's cousin was PG she called my MIL to say she really liked [DH's brother's name] and would she ind if they used it. MIL said no find your own name . That made no sense to me at all!

It's one of those things that some people don't care about at all, and others are really funny about. Personally, if I had a name I loved I'd use it regardless.

Our original boys name is Jacob. Was going to be Jacob James. We thought we could have Jacob/Jake/JJ. I suppose we could have James and some middle name begining with D, T or P and then he could have the nickname JD, JT or JP. Erm, don't like JP. But we -DP, DD, myself and my side would call him James- and DP's side could call him his initials?

ThenextMrsDepp Diggory! Sounds like a male pornstar!

lovely74 2 brothers with the same name!
The mind boggles.........

Don't know WHERE Diggory came from, was just trying to think of the most awful boys name I could.

My DS is James Joseph.
He was supposed to be called Jamie but it never stuck
He is now called James, Jay or JJ He is now 11 and was only ever James until a couple of years ago, when all his friends names got shortend.
Mainly he is called James.
Could you not tell a little white lie and say he is James but will have NN and then say after a few weeks that it didnt stick or suit DS or it didnt sound right with other twin's name

ThenextMrsDepp Was sat here fretting after last post that you may have it as a name or someone you know! Thought also it reminds me of something a tractor might be called on bob the builder or Thomas the tank!

teamcullen Awh, that's a lovely name, just the type of name i like.

Think what i should do, is start a new thread that says 'How can i get/manipulate DP to call second boy Nathaniel' (my second choice after Jacob)

With any luck you have another 6 weeks for your SIL to finally choose one name.

I think it would be fine to use James as the middle name. But I think two cousins with the same name would be problematic for some members of the family. There will always be people who say 'don't be silly it doesn't matter', but it's hardly ideal, and it isn't the done thing now even if it was the norm 200 years ago. Two grandsons called James will mean that the grandparents will have to refer to their own grandchildren as james H and james B.

I like Diggory. I never read Harry Potter though. It could be the most evil sorcerer ever and I just think, hmmm, like it.

Or is it from Bob the Builder? Anyway, I definitely like it.