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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be just a little bit annoyed?

28 replies

mmmmmchocolate · 25/05/2010 17:51

MIL (yep another one of those threads) has just dropped DD off and pulled out of her bag a set of keys to my house! She said she got them cut a year ago when we were on holiday and she popped round to feed the fish and wanted to make sure they worked as she will be watching DD soon for a day while I'm in hospital. She said it was best she tested them incase I forget to give her a set, we have already two spare sets in the house. I phoned DP who said he knew nothing about it. I was just too shocked to say anything just mumbled erm ok...... But the more I think about it the more angry I feel!!! She had got front AND back door ones too. Honestly is it just me? I'm very pregnant and obv hormonal but really?!!!!!!

OP posts:
cornsilkcottagecheese · 25/05/2010 17:52

cheeky woman!

scurryfunge · 25/05/2010 17:53

Presumably she wouldn't enter your house uninvited so what is the problem?

TheArmadillo · 25/05/2010 17:54

YANBU

Get new locks. But if hospital is soon maybe wait till after in case she does it again with the spare set you give her. Make up a reason if you like.

Are you renting or owning? If renting it will probably be against the rules of your tenancy for her to have a key.

Bloody cheeky for her to get them done without asking. I'd be furious adn I like my MIL (partly because she wouldn't have done something like that admittedly)>

fabat40 · 25/05/2010 17:54

I'd get the locks changed!!!!

AgentZigzag · 25/05/2010 17:54

did she say why she'd 'forgotten' to say anything about having them for a year?? Or why she hadn't asked if she could get them cut in the first place?

It sounds a bit underhand to me.

jenduff · 25/05/2010 17:55

and I thought my MIL was rude beyond belief - would wait til the need for her to have access to your house has passed and then change the locks

scurryfunge · 25/05/2010 17:56

Why is a bad thing? It sounds sensible to me (am always locking myself out of house).

AgentZigzag · 25/05/2010 17:56

So you'd be OK with other people having keys to your house without your knowledge scurry? It wouldn't matter to me whether they'd come in uninvited or not, just the fact that she thought it was OK to do that would set alarm bells ringing.

AgentZigzag · 25/05/2010 17:57

Yeah, but you choose who you give keys to scurry, they don't take them unasked.

scurryfunge · 25/05/2010 17:58

Maybe I have a different relationship with relatives and in laws. I trust them not to come in uninvited and they would never breach that, therefore to a spare set of keys for me would be sensible (in case of emergency etc)

scurryfunge · 25/05/2010 17:59

But that natural choice would be the people I trusted....we are not talking about a random neighbour here.

lazylula · 25/05/2010 18:00

My parents have keys to my house, however we gave them to them, they didn't just get them cut. Maybe if she did it while you were away she just forgot to mention it and only just thought about them due to the hospital visit coming up? She has obviously never used them in the year she has had them so I don't really see the problem, other than the fact that she should have mentioned it!

AgentZigzag · 25/05/2010 18:00

But would your relatives take your keys, go and get a new set cut, put the other keys back, and not mention it to you scurry? I bet they wouldn't cos it'd be beyond cheeky as fuck.

thesecondcoming · 25/05/2010 18:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2shoes · 25/05/2010 18:04

yabu
so she is trusted enough to look after your child, but not a set of keys

Original poster
mmmmmchocolate · 25/05/2010 18:07

Thing is scurry I did get locked out about 3 months ago. I was sat on the doorstep for almost 2 hours with DD who was just potty trained and desperate for a wee. I couldn't get in touch with DP who had gone into work and she had called me about 10 mins after I realised I was locked out and never said anything about having a set to get me back in. It's our own house but when we moved in she had a set she got cut that we had to ask for them back. Noone has a set of keys to our house. I find it bloody weird!!

OP posts:
Original poster
mmmmmchocolate · 25/05/2010 18:11

It's not the having the keys it's the getting them cut with no reason and not thinking to ever mention it. I don't have keys to her house?

OP posts:
mumto2andnomore · 25/05/2010 18:20

It wouldn't bother me either, shes not a random person shes a member of your family and she was doing it to help you out.

scurryfunge · 25/05/2010 18:41

It's a bit strange that she didn't let you back in when you were locked out...maybe she is forgetful in that case.
Trust is the issue I think, not the set of keys.

AZZ,you are right in that I don't think a friend or relative would have done that to me without asking but if they did I don't honestly think I would have a big problem with it but then I am pretty blase about possessions,etc.

AgentZigzag · 25/05/2010 19:11

I'm not bothered about possessions either scurry, but it's the sneaky way the MIL did it. She wasn't doing the OP a favour in case she got locked out and she didn't forget to tell the OP, she chose not to.

I wouldn't mind my MIL/parents/neighbours having a set of keys to my house, but if any of them took a set and didn't say I'd be asking myself why.

scurryfunge · 25/05/2010 19:38

It is a little strange but not totally unforgiveable...maybe she is forgetful...maybe she is doing it for the right reasons, who knows? I wander why she would want a set for another reason.....theft? cleaning police? looking through drawers?!

Fluffyone · 25/05/2010 19:44

Are you saying that she had a set cut before and you took them from her? And that she's since had another set cut?
I guess I might add another simple lock to the front and back doors, and never give her the keys to those. Just leave those unlocked when she's actually been given access to the house, but lock up fully normally.

uglymugly · 25/05/2010 19:44

YANBU. Getting a set of keys to your house cut without permission is disrespectful to say the least.

I find it strange that not only did she get a set of keys cut, she didn't check that they worked then? Anyone who knows how to get a set of keys cut would know to test them straightaway.

Do I understand correctly that this is the second time she's done this - once when you first moved in, and again when she had a set while you were on holiday? If so, it seems she still hasn't learned about boundaries.

I'd echo other advice - wait until after your hospital stay, and then your DH should have words with her.

AgentZigzag · 25/05/2010 19:59

'cleaning police?'

Fucking hell...I'm off to get my MIL a set of ours cut

Some people like to have a nosy and a rifle through other peoples houses when they know they're not there, unusual, but not unheard of.

scurryfunge · 25/05/2010 20:03

My mum would do a surprise visit but only to leave a vase of flowers or leave a packet of biscuits