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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not let my dd3.7 have any pudding?

50 replies

morejuiceplease · 30/04/2010 17:37

She was promised chocolate trifle as a special treatif she ate her dinner. She ate most of it then was promptly sick all over the table.

I've said no trifle and I'll let her have some tomorrow if she's better. She thinks I'm the meanest mummy that ever lived.

Oh and she reckons she's better now and promises not to be sick again .

so am I the meanest mummy in the world or am ijust quite sensible and actually quite a nice mummy?!

OP posts:

LaDiDaDi · 30/04/2010 17:38

Hmm, I would let her have a little bit just before bed if she is not sick again.

MadameGazelle · 30/04/2010 17:42

Maybe she was sick because she didn't want to eat all of her dinner but only did so because she was promised trifle as a treat

majafa · 30/04/2010 17:43

No i wouldnt, especially if theres any chance of her having a 'sickness bug' type thing,
But then Im a meanie ..lol

diddl · 30/04/2010 17:44

I wouldn´t-not after she´s been sick!

pointydog · 30/04/2010 17:46

If she's quite perky and is hungry, I'd let her have a bit of trifle.

I wouldn't have promised trifle for finishing dinner though

sleepingsowell · 30/04/2010 18:03

agree - maybe she stuffed herself uncomfortably just to get the trifle

diddl · 30/04/2010 18:08

OP-does she usually eat OK?

Was she stuffing her meal down?

Greensleeves · 30/04/2010 18:11

I'm afraid this is what can happen if you promise a child a reward for eating it all

perhaps her stomach was full?

Original poster

morejuiceplease · 30/04/2010 18:48

She didn't eat all her dinner. She chose it (lasagne) and she ate about half, I then told her 3 more bites as I do with nearly every meal as she's not a great eater and does try to leave anything that's not sausage or mash. Anyway she was sick after the third bite, so don't think she did it deliberately.

OP posts:

diddl · 30/04/2010 18:56

OP-do you give big portions though?

My son absolutely will not have another mouthful when he feels full.

He will leave half a dozen chips, half a biscuit..

Original poster

morejuiceplease · 30/04/2010 18:57

No was not big, was perhaps 1/8 of smallish lasagne.

OP posts:

diddl · 30/04/2010 19:00

Still,what isn´t big to us can be very daunting to a youngster with a small appetite.

mumbar · 30/04/2010 19:17

YANBU she would probably be sad to sick up the trifle better she enjoys it tomorrow. Perhaps she could have a bit for snack so you know she won't be full or stuff herself to get it.

And I say no pud unless you eat your dinner too but do think thats another one of those things that no one ever agrees on!!!

diddl · 30/04/2010 19:21

I agree "better to be safe than sorry".

It is sad that she might have made herself sick in desperation to have trifle,but to me it does sound as if it was too small amount for that.

LynetteScavo · 30/04/2010 19:22

YABU to say she can only have triffle if she eats all her tea.

diddl · 30/04/2010 19:28

I think it´s a thing a few Mums have said though to try and get their children to eat more.

Unless OP gave her daughter a "whopping" portion compared to usual I don´t think it was unreasonable.

MadameGazelle · 30/04/2010 19:43

morejuiceplease - I'm baffled as to why you would force your child to have 3 more mouthfuls if she has already told you she's had enough - would you like it if you were satisfied after a meal yet someone made you eat more? I think you need to stop using food as a reward - she probably isn't a great eater because you're forcing her to eat more than she's comfortable with. Her stomach capability for portion size and your expectation of her portion size are probably vastly different. I think YABVU

Original poster

morejuiceplease · 30/04/2010 19:53

Well I ended up giving her a tiny bit and she didn't want it anyway.

Still don't think she was full as she really only ate the pasta and sauce bit and barely touched the meat, and she had a busy day which usually means she's starving by teatime.

She'll have it tomorrow if she fancies it, if not, well that just means more for me!

OP posts:

mumbar · 30/04/2010 20:00

but if she was full surely she had no room for pud???

Like I said it's one of those things thats controversial. I have always said to DS if you have no room for veg etc thats healthy you have no room for pud. I do not give him large portions which by sound of it op didn't.

Perhaps if DD isn't a big eater then giving her pud type food as a snack would be better providing she still eats at meal??

diddl · 30/04/2010 20:14

I can see the Ops dilemma.

It´s frustrating when you know they are capable of eating a full meal and at times just don´t seem to bother.

Perhaps in future let your daughter decide on her portion sizes.

Original poster

morejuiceplease · 30/04/2010 20:24

Madamegazelle (love the namebtw) I ask her to gave 3 more mouthfuls because I don't think that the 2 bites of food she normally has is enough for a growing child.

Plus I'm well aware that most days she tries it on so she can get get down from the table to play.

I'm not going to force feed her, but she's 3 years old, and needs some encouragement to eat heathily. Had I put a plate of chicken nuggets and chips in front of her tonight I have no doubt she would gave eaten the lot.

My general rule is, if it's a meal I know she likes, she has to make a reasonable effort at eating it before a dessert; if it's a new food then she must try at least one mouthful, if she says she hates it then that's fine. Well not fine but I appreciate she has different tastes to me and will not lime all the food I serve.

Dessert is not usually choc-based btw, is usually yogurts or fruit or an apple pie type thing if I can be bothered to make one.

OP posts:

mumbar · 30/04/2010 20:30

morejuiceplease I am in agreement with you. Pub for my DS usually yoghurt, jelly, fruit etc. BUT if we have choc ice cream and he wants some then yes I expect him to eat the amount he'd manage when an apple is for pud!!! Not just eat a few mouthfuls to leave room !!!! Please don't feel bad.

SloanyPony · 30/04/2010 20:41

I never tell them what is for pud. Sometimes pud is based on how much/what they ate for dinner so I balance out the meal with it (if for instance they haven't eaten enough protein I'll make sure its greek yogurt with some ground seeds and honey and if they haven't had enough carbohydrate then I'll rip open a Mullerrice)

I'm not a fan of the "eat your dinner and you can have pudding" thing but the OP does explain it a bit better in further posts and it seems reasonable enough.

There is a sickness bug going round, I had it today and my new(ish) baby has had it which is a nightmare... hope she's okay

diddl · 30/04/2010 21:02

Yes,her not now wanting the trifle when offered does make it seem as if she might be unwell.

It does seem to me that OP tried to make her daughter make a reasonable attempt at eating rather than force a shed load down her though.

Original poster

morejuiceplease · 30/04/2010 21:40

Sloanypony, I don't normally tell her what's for pudding but it was a special treat as it was her first full day at preschool and she wasn't keen on going but did really well. Plus she helped me make it so was a bit of a giveaway.

Mumbar and diddl, thanks for making me feel not quite so unreasonable! It's a nightmare trying to get her to eat sometimes, glad I'm not the only one struggling with this.

OP posts:

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