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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So was I? Dh says yes.

34 replies

hormonalmum · 09/01/2010 20:56

I genuinely do not know if IWBU earlier.

I was in the local supermarket today (madness on a panic buying Saturday but hey needs must) I finally parked the car (not in p&t as didn't have any children with me)
Went straight to the loo as I was desperate (am pregnant)
When I got there, I had to queue - got chatting to lady in front who went into the first cubicle went it came free. Very small toilet area.
A girl aged 8 or 9 came in and was jumping up and down as she obviously desperate to go too.
One of the 2 cublicles became free and the girl entered it. I ended up saying "sorry sweetheart, I am desperate too and have been waiting"

So, was IBU? I felt rather bad when dh said I was.
Thoughts please

OP posts:
CMOTdibbler · 09/01/2010 20:58

YANBU - when there are two equally desperate people, the one there first gets to go first

ninah · 09/01/2010 20:58

dunno - wouldn't lose sleep over it

wilkos · 09/01/2010 20:58

yabu, but then she was bvu for pushing in.

onepieceoflollipop · 09/01/2010 20:59

I think YABU, Fair enough you may have felt "desperate" but by your own admission you were able to wait and chat to the lady in frone. Surely if you were that desperate, while you were chatting to the same lady you could have made mention of your pg and asked her politely if you could go first? That's what I would have done.

You say the girl had already entered the cubicle, did you then ask her to leave the cubicle so you could go in? Bit mean to an 8 year old imo.

Bleatblurt · 09/01/2010 20:59

I don't think you ABU, but I would have let her go first.

msrisotto · 09/01/2010 20:59

yanbu

ButterPie · 09/01/2010 21:00

YWNBU. You would have been if you were not desperate, but in a case of two desperate people, then the one who was there first wins. Plus marginally more embarrassing for a fully grown woman to wee her pants, IMO.

In fact, if the first woman wasn't desperate and you looked like you were, the polite thing would have been for her to offer to let you jump the queue.

ConnieComplaint · 09/01/2010 21:01

YANBU - I would've done the same.

I wouldn't have if it were a potty training toddler though

At 8/9 the girl should have had the sense to queue!

WimpyDisguise · 09/01/2010 21:02

i would have let her go, but would deffo have said something.

my kids are 3 and 4, if there is a queue, they wait, same as everyone else.

what a mean mummy i am!

KurriKurri · 09/01/2010 21:03

yanbu. I usually allow jiggling children to queue jump me, but if its 50/50 in the knicker wetting stakes, its every girl for herself.

drinkyourmilk · 09/01/2010 21:04

I would generally let kids go first - but have a very small pathetic bladder and sometimes i must go. So i understand - yanbu - if you were going to wee yourself then yes, you should get to go first.

BelleDameSansMerci · 09/01/2010 21:06

I would have let her go before me as she's a desperate child and probably more likely to "have an accident" than you would be (unless your pelvic floor is as stuffed as mine)!

Undercovamutha · 09/01/2010 21:08

If it was me and I thought there was any possibility I could hang on, I would have let the 8yo go first. (And I would definitely have let a younger child go first). I have been amazed by the number of people in toilets who haven't offered for my (preschool) DD to go first when she has been jumping up and down saying she really needs a wee.

JackiePaper · 09/01/2010 21:15

YWNBU if it was a little child, 3 or 4 say who was desperate then yes let them go first but an 8 yr old? nah, and she was being rude for pushing in front of the queue anyway.

Casmama · 09/01/2010 21:19

YANBU - she didn't even ask if she could go first just jumped the queue so you were quite right plus you were nice about it so don't feel guilty. Good luck with the babba.

Morloth · 09/01/2010 21:21

YANBU and very cheeky of her to just assume that she gets to go first.

MrsSawdust · 09/01/2010 21:22

How very rude of an 8 yr old to jump the queue. She needs to learn some manners! I would have said something to her too.

However, at her age I did once wet my knickers, only 1 minute from a toilet, so I do think even pg women have better bladder control than an 8 yr old. So although I would have said something I would also have let her go first.

Coldhands · 09/01/2010 21:27

YANBU, I was always desperate when I was pregnant and unless it was a toddler, no one would have pushed in front of me. At 8 she is old enough to be able to wait in a small queue.

I was desperate when I was at the hospital once and a very kind old lady let me go first as I was very pregnant, I was so touched! Nothing to do with the post, but I like mentioning acts of kindness.

KurriKurri · 09/01/2010 21:28

MrsSawdust, this also happened to me at 8yrs., but it was while being told off by a policeman, so occasioned by fear rather than lack of bladder control.
These days I'm liable to wet myself whether being told off by a policeman or not.

paulaplumpbottom · 09/01/2010 21:35

You were just right. First come first serve especially if you are pregnant.

paulaplumpbottom · 09/01/2010 21:35

You were just right. First come first serve especially if you are pregnant.

Heqet · 09/01/2010 21:37

No. I don't think you were. If she'd asked, I probably would have let her go first (unless I was already leaking or if I could wait a bit, I would have said to her to go first.

But if she just pushed through, then I would have said what you said, for no other reason than she queuejumped! (I hate that!!!)

Coldhands · 09/01/2010 21:41

I hate queue jumping too. When I was very very pregnant, I was in a shop, almost passing out from how hot it was and there were 2 teenage boys trying to edge ahead of me. I swear I would have ran waddled after them and sat on there faces until they passed out.

snowedinwithJjandtheBean · 09/01/2010 21:47

YANBU!

carrieboo75 · 09/01/2010 22:08

Sorry I think you were, 8 is still very young really and if she was jumping around she was obviously very in need. Also you have no idea how long she had been desperate for, she could of been made to do the whole shop before being allowed to go once at check out.