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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really annoyed at these kids?

43 replies

SnakeWard · 20/11/2009 10:08

DS's school has a none uniform day today and this morning, on the gates stood a group of year 5 boys (so around 9 years old) checking what people were wearing and depending on whether or not it was to their liking or not, jeering, laughing, commenting and taking the piss out of the other kids.

My eldest DS couldn't care less but DS2 is quite self conscious and spent the next 10 minutes walking around the playground with his jacket wrapped tightly around him so nobody could see his clothes and he was really upset.

I'm so angry about the way these kids think they have a right to rip the piss out of other kids because they don't 'conform' to the sheep mentality and dress in trackies and football shirts.

I'm in two minds whether to complain to the school.

Am I over-reacting?

OP posts:
JjandtheBean · 20/11/2009 10:14

YANBU!

id say something tbh!

especially because the 'sheep' wear trackies and football shirts, two items of clothing that make me boak

CaresMildly · 20/11/2009 10:17

I agree and think a complaint to the school would be acceptable. It's bullying and it's mean to the other children. I'm not quite sure how the ages work, but I'm guessing the group of boys were amongst the oldest in the school? So they were using peer pressure and their age to belittle other children.

Things like this make me feel sad. The thought of the younger children all excited about going in in mufti, then they get to school and find others want to sneer at them and hurt their feelings, just for their own amusement.

As you say a robust child can brush it off, but for sensitive ones it can leave its mark. I hope your DS2 enjoys his day anyway.

LadyTeasmaid · 20/11/2009 10:17

Urgh Kids in Trackies! Blah. Best just to ignore them and point out to your DS that he looks well cool in his REAL CLOTHES! Were they chavs? (yes I know I'm a major snob but lets get over it lol)

Undercovamutha · 20/11/2009 10:18

YANBU to be annoyed. The joys of school ! Aren't some kids just lovely! I remember this sort of behaviour from my school days and its not nice - but I think its probably quite normal unfortunately.
I don't think it merits a formal complaint though - unless it was only aimed at one or two individuals. Although, if you were to see a teacher when you pick them up from school, it may be worth mentioning it in passing so they can keep an eye out to make sure it doesn't develop into more serious bullying.

Original poster
SnakeWard · 20/11/2009 10:19

I know it probably sounds a bit daft but I'm actually quite upset about it.
DS1 is used to being a bit 'out of place' because he specifically goes out of his way to be different but poor DS2. He's only 8 (year 4) and he had gone in all excited with his new skinny jeans on and then just got laughed at.

OP posts:
MintyCane · 20/11/2009 10:22

YANBU

CaresMildly · 20/11/2009 10:23

SnakeWard it doesn't sound daft. You want him to develop his own personality and express himself, enjoy life, develop confidence and self-belief. Then some arse comes along and judges and belittles and hurts for fun. It's just cruel.

Poor you and your DS. Will his brother look out for him and check he's OK?

GhoulsAreLoud · 20/11/2009 10:24

I used to hate non uniform days for exactly this reason.

LadyTeasmaid · 20/11/2009 10:26

:O 8 years old in skinny jeans! Brilliant. He's right on trend! Perhaps to build confidence you could show him magazine pics of his hero, how they dress. Do you ever see David Beckham bumming around is screggy trackies when he's not training?

Sounds like both boys went in very smart and well dressed today. Just because some mums slob their kids out in JD Sports finest doesn't mean everyone has to dress like that.

(Sorry if im heated in this but my son is five and has always been very individual like your DS1, and I can't bear these chav kids and their comments against those who dare to wear what they like)

teameric · 20/11/2009 10:27

YANBU some kids are so nasty. And agree with the whole trakkie and football shirt thing.
This is what my DS wears all the time, drives me insane. Trying to get him to wear anything else is a nightmare! (in his defence though he does play in a footie team and plays football pretty much constantly with his mates and he's not a chav or a bully)

mrsmharket · 20/11/2009 10:28

i don't think you're bu at all. it's not very nice for these boys to say things like this, i am not sure how best to appoach it with a teacher.

CaresMildly · 20/11/2009 10:29

It doesn't matter who was wearing what surely? A group of well-dressed children could have laughed at someone who was in a tracksuit and it would have been just as wrong.

FimbleHobbs · 20/11/2009 10:30

YANBU

I'd have probably said something there and then, along the lines of 'its not nice to speak to people like that, everybody has different favourite clothes and you shouldn't be mean'... then sweep off before they get to answer back.

I've said similar to older boys in the park making mean comments about DS having stabilisers on his bike.

In some ways its kids just testing boundaries but I think it takes a village to raise a child and sometimes they need an adult to remind them how to behave.

LadyTeasmaid · 20/11/2009 10:30

Teameric, wearing sports clothes for sports does not mean your child is chav or bully. That's what they're meant for lol.

Original poster
SnakeWard · 20/11/2009 10:30

Thanks everyone and yes, the kids are chavvy lol

Neither of my boys are into football, they like music, movies, animals, forests etc...

I'm not saying they're perfect little angels because they're not, youngest is far from it!!! but I just cannot understand this mentality of dressing all the kids in chavvy, scruffy sports wear, all supporting the same team simply because they win all the time and all "larking" out on street corners every night annoying the residents.

If that's what it takes to be popular, then I'm glad my kids are nerdy moshers!

OP posts:
FimbleHobbs · 20/11/2009 10:31

PS My DS has gone in in skinny jeans too

LadyTeasmaid · 20/11/2009 10:33

w00t for Nerdy Moshers!

DS Wore baggy jeans and a hoody today. Good job he's not going into the local shopping centre, he'd be banned!

teameric · 20/11/2009 10:37

I know LadyTeasmaid but he had own clothes day at school today (for children in need) and yep he went in a tracksuit, would love to get him in a pair of skinny jeans but he dosn't want to know! I would just like him to look a bit smart now and again

Original poster
SnakeWard · 20/11/2009 10:37

LOL my DS1 wanted to wear a hoodie he bought from the hard rock cafe in Orlando. I said no way because if it isn't stolen, it will be wrecked by time he gets home lol

He settled on a chemical romance hoodie with something about the black parade on the back. The teachers will love me lol!

OP posts:
racmac · 20/11/2009 10:39

So all kids wearing trackies and football tops are chavvy

Glad to see none of you are in the least bit judgmental - surely thats just as bad as those kids in the playground but at least they are kids

Jamieandhismagictorch · 20/11/2009 10:41

I agree with Fimble - I always say something at the time

Original poster
SnakeWard · 20/11/2009 10:42

No I'm not saying they were chavvy just because of what they were wearing, its the way they act that makes them chavvy. The swearing, the swagger walk, the attitude and the checking of designer labels in people's jeans etc that makes them chavvy!!

OP posts:
madhairissneeped · 20/11/2009 10:43

YANBU. I would talk to one of the teachers about this, it's truly horrible. You do get them in every school though, they'll point out anything 'different', they have no imagination.

Mandy1966 · 20/11/2009 10:47

Not complain but prehaps mention it to the class teachers, it is a form of bulling.
I would have said something as I walked by, but then I know most of the kids in our school, as I used to work there.

WickedWitchSouthWest · 20/11/2009 10:49

YANBU.

Personally though I would have said something at the time.

My dd is only 3 and has a hair band with furry cat ears on it -tis v cute! We were at a stay and play and some 5 yr old boys started teasing her! I couldn't believe that at such a young age they would do that. The mum's obviously just looked on adoringly as my poor dd started to crumble. I had words. Pulled them over and asked if I could laugh at what they were wearing! I grew up wearing what they hell I wanted and I want my kids to be able to express themselves too. Big kudos to your ds2 for the skinny jeans, and lol at nerdy mosher!!

Boo to the bullies! A quick word in the shell-like of the teacher might be an idea though, perhaps s/he could point out that we are all individuals and not sheep?

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