To be really annoyed at these kids?

[SnakeWard]

DS's school has a none uniform day today and this morning, on the gates stood a group of year 5 boys (so around 9 years old) checking what people were wearing and depending on whether or not it was to their liking or not, jeering, laughing, commenting and taking the piss out of the other kids.

My eldest DS couldn't care less but DS2 is quite self conscious and spent the next 10 minutes walking around the playground with his jacket wrapped tightly around him so nobody could see his clothes and he was really upset.

I'm so angry about the way these kids think they have a right to rip the piss out of other kids because they don't 'conform' to the sheep mentality and dress in trackies and football shirts.

I'm in two minds whether to complain to the school.

Am I over-reacting?

Was going to post exactly the same as Racmac and saw that she had got in there first!

They're kids FGS and primary school kids to boot not 16 year olds effing and jeffing with fags in their mouths.

YANBU OP and I feel very sorry for your youngest, but why didn't you say something to the kids along the lines of it not being nice to tease other children and that you will be going to have a word with the headmistress if you see them do it again. I would actually consider going to the headmistress anyway so the school can deal with it - presumably by stopping kids lingering by the front gates or by introducing various anti bullying initiatives.

So not ok for 9 yo to be childish and start "jeering, laughing, commenting and taking the piss out of the other kids." depending on their clothes...

...But perfectly ok for grown up women to say that boys with football tops are all chavs and bullies.

DS#1 suffers from this. He has long blond hair, wears baggy jeans and lots of skaters clothes. I actually think he's looks ridiculous but then I am old But he gets the piss ripped a bit. He has learned to ignore them - I'm afraid he dismisses them as chavs (btw that is a definition of a certain type of fashion, not of a certain class). I think that a tough skin is required. Mind you this is Yr8.

OrmIrian I agree with "(btw that is a definition of a certain type of fashion," but you will find on here the trend is to use it as something far from a compliment.

I think your DS should be proud that he has his own individual style, I was bullied a bit when younger because I didn't conform to "type" but then thats just kids for you I suppose.

I think that is started out as something dismissive but has been claimed as a description of certain clothes and hair cuts. But yes i agree, it's only seen one way on MN generally.

By the time you have spoken to teachers your lad will have forgotten the boys' names (if indeed he knows them). Named or not, the school may give a weak sentence in assembly next month about how "We mustn't jeer at other children at the school gates everybody, it isn't nice".

The alternative is to give the little chavs, sorry, shits, sorry, boys a frosty stare there and then verbally put them in their place. (Before anyone gets their knickers in a twist I'm not advocating telling them to fuck off, just a loud, clear, "Don't push your luck!" or "Perhaps we need Mr Headmaster at the school gates in future?"

SnakeWard, my Dcs have a blue clothes non uniform day today as it is the end of "National antibullying Week" is that also the theme of your Dc non uniform day?

Yes, mine too gorionine. Ironically.

What Fimble and others said. Say something to them, they are children ffs not monsters. Or yes, even just giving "the look" may have worked.

I don't understand why people don't say anything to children who are being rude or naughty. I am one of the few people I know who is willing to do it. They are only children, and it is the responsibility of us all to teach them. I would expect someone else to challenge my sons over something like this.

As a related point, out children deserve us to stand up for them.

You don't have to deliver a lecture or make a big heavy point .....

Your DS is kind of young, but perhaps it's a good opportunity for the lesson that those who march to their own drummer can do very well indeed out of our entrepreneurial capitalist system, and out of life in general.

Bullies, in my experience, tend to amount to nothing after they've left school.

I have read and read and re-read the op but still cannot bring myself to see theses boys as bullies! they are mouthy 9 yo, not bullies IMHO.

No, I agree, bullies is putting it too strongly. Mind, you, if normal mouthiness doesn't get challenged by us adults, then you end up with children who feel pretty powerful ...

YANBU to be annoyed with the boys amd you are not over reacting.

What the boys are doing is a form of bullying - picking on others to amke themselves look good and to make the children feel bad about themselves.

I would definitely mention this to the school, especially as this week is anto bullying week.

I would hope the parents of the children in the class I work in would mention it to us. We would act upon it, as would the headteacher.

gorionine - the boys behaviour is of a bullying nature, They are acting in this way in the hope to make other children feel bad, and to make themselves look "clever" "hard" or "better" than others. This is bullying behaviour and a type of behaviour that required addressing.

I would comment directly to the children at the time, yes. I would tell them their behvaiour was unkind and that I would be speaking to the class teacher about it.

YANBU to be annoyed, no.

But YABU not to say something at the time. They're nine year old, they're children, as adults we should show them what is appropriate.

Hulababy I agree with you that the behaviour needs to be addressed, challenged by an adult but I always classified bullying as a more "persistant" thing than laughing at someone passing by.

Maybe I am being very insensitive.