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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be a little sad that the shop assistant spolied dd's birthday surprise

55 replies

Grendle · 03/07/2009 16:28

We're getting dd a slide for her birthday. Actually it's for the children to share. Anyway, I've been trying for ages to get into town to buy it. Today i finally made it into John Lewis. I left nosy ds looking at lego packet pictures on the shelves nearby, and with dd safely in her buggy ordered what I wanted from the assistant. All was fine and dd neither saw nor heard anything. she was, however, just starting to whine a little. As I typed in my pin I made some soothing noise to her about nearly done. The shop assistant bent down and gave her the garden toys catalogue to look at. Lovely kind lady, I thought. But, then she went on to turn to the page with my slide on it and say to my dd (almost 2, but understands everything) "Look at the lovely slide your Mummy has just bought for you!" .

So she's wrecked the surprise. I know she meant well, but why did she have to interfere like that? It might not even have been for us, and it won't be delivered until next week, so she obviously left the potential for screaming once we got home along the lines of "where's my slide", though fortunately so far dd hasn't mentioned it, and at least ds didn't hear.

I know it's not a big deal in the grand scheme, but I was really saddened. It's the first birthday dd will sort of understand and that was supposed to be our big surprise for her . Dh was furious and wants to complain.

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 03/07/2009 16:30

I can understand why you're upset, but I think, as you highlight, in the grand scheme of things it's no biggy. I definitely wouldn't complain.

Happy birthday to DD

hocuspontas · 03/07/2009 16:31

I could understand you being slightly sad but 'dh furious and wants to complain'????? Has he been out in the heat too much

Poledra · 03/07/2009 16:32

YANBU to be a little sad, but I wouldn't complain - the lady didn't mean to do it, and her intentions were good. TBH, I'd be surprised if my DDs at the same age remembered something like that - as she hasn't mentioned it yet, might she have forgotten?

hunkermunker · 03/07/2009 16:33

And, listen, if DD hasn't mentioned it, chances are she won't associate the photo of the slide and the woman she'd never seen before saying she was getting one for her birthday. It'll still be a surprise [soothing]

lockets · 03/07/2009 16:33

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FiveGoMadInDorset · 03/07/2009 16:33

Did you tell her it was a surprise? If not how was she meant to know.

Nancy66 · 03/07/2009 16:34

You can't complain for god's sake - the woman was being friendly. How was she meant to know it was a surprise?

Morloth · 03/07/2009 16:35

Doubt she will make the connection or even remember it. Your DH needs to get a grip.

crazylizzy · 03/07/2009 16:40

YABU, very U if I'm honest. The assistant sounds lovely and she obviously was just trying to be friendly and her good intentions went slightly the wrong way. Seeing as you were buying the slide with both children with you she probably made the assumption that it wasn't a surprise. Your DH is being idiotic by being "furious".

2shoes · 03/07/2009 16:42

yabu

Tambajam · 03/07/2009 16:43

Your Dh is being a bit daft to say the least. If he tries to complain he will give the staff a good old laugh over their teabreak.
Perhaps she should have had super powers and thought through all the possibilities but as DD was actually with you I don't think she behaved unreasonably to assume it wasn't a secret. She was trying to help.

Fimbo · 03/07/2009 16:44

Wow, I think that's a bit extreme reaction. The JL lady was being kind.

Think of the extreme pleasure your dd will have when it gets delivered.

imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy · 03/07/2009 16:45
Hmm
sweetfall · 03/07/2009 16:48

your DD is two? She won't connect a picture in the catalogue with a huge slide arriving next week for her birthday

You are unreasonable. But your DH sounds really bizarre - furious? wants to complain? really?

letsgostrawberrypicking · 03/07/2009 16:51

Almost 2?? Wow your dd must be very advanced if she can understand that she is getting a slide at some point in the future, and what "Mummy has bought for you" means! Dont think my dc understood much apart from where their toys/biscuits/ were at that age. Well, going by the fact that ds wore his potty as a hat till he was 2.7 despite my basic "sit - wee- potty" explanations , they certainly woulnt have comprehended what she was saying!

YABVU and your dh too

CaptainUnderpants · 03/07/2009 17:10

Get DH to complain and then post a copy of the letter her , would really be interested in how it is worded !

AtheneNoctua · 03/07/2009 17:11

Well, I think the shop assistant was a bit dumb to be honest for not thinking this brand new slide might be a present for a child. But, agree, that she meant no harm and complaining about her would be a bit mean.

lockets · 03/07/2009 17:14

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AtheneNoctua · 03/07/2009 17:17

Just think she probably should have considered that it might be a surprise, not know that it definitely was. But, this is a side point. I do think it would be unreasonable to complain about her. No harm was intended. Just think she was a bit silly.

Grendle · 03/07/2009 17:17

I'm not going to let him complain, and I'M not furious. I was just a little sad that's all. Obviously even that's unreasonable. Now I know . I hope you're right and that she forgets it, but knowing her it's unlikely. Never mind, there will be other surprises.

OP posts:
leonifay · 03/07/2009 17:19

you can complain but unless you said to the assistant, this is a surprise please dont say anything to dd, they wont do anything. uab alittle bit u. but assistant shouldnt have jumped to conclusions.

FairLadyRantALot · 03/07/2009 17:20

the shop assistant wasn't to know that it wa meant to be a surprise Birthday present...
yabu to consider complaining...and furious...really....

I honestly think sometimes that no matter what one does or says, people will be taking offence/get upset/furious about it....so...maybe we should aspire to such a society as shown in the Wally movie...where no-one talks directly to anyone, etc....

riddley · 03/07/2009 17:43

I won't hear a WORD against John Lewis.

Oxford Street have been known to open an extra till when my babies were getting cranky in their double buggy.The till ladies still tell them how sweet they are and pinch their little cheeks- even tho they're 5 and usually covered in filth.

In fact am thinking of moving there- is a toss up between JL or France

bumptwitknocker · 03/07/2009 19:43

I would be sad, but the assistant didn't know it was a surprise, so stop complaining.

CyradisTheSeer · 03/07/2009 19:56

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