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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be a little sad that the shop assistant spolied dd's birthday surprise

55 replies

Grendle · 03/07/2009 16:28

We're getting dd a slide for her birthday. Actually it's for the children to share. Anyway, I've been trying for ages to get into town to buy it. Today i finally made it into John Lewis. I left nosy ds looking at lego packet pictures on the shelves nearby, and with dd safely in her buggy ordered what I wanted from the assistant. All was fine and dd neither saw nor heard anything. she was, however, just starting to whine a little. As I typed in my pin I made some soothing noise to her about nearly done. The shop assistant bent down and gave her the garden toys catalogue to look at. Lovely kind lady, I thought. But, then she went on to turn to the page with my slide on it and say to my dd (almost 2, but understands everything) "Look at the lovely slide your Mummy has just bought for you!" .

So she's wrecked the surprise. I know she meant well, but why did she have to interfere like that? It might not even have been for us, and it won't be delivered until next week, so she obviously left the potential for screaming once we got home along the lines of "where's my slide", though fortunately so far dd hasn't mentioned it, and at least ds didn't hear.

I know it's not a big deal in the grand scheme, but I was really saddened. It's the first birthday dd will sort of understand and that was supposed to be our big surprise for her . Dh was furious and wants to complain.

OP posts:
ipiratethief · 03/07/2009 20:01

the shop assistant was a bit ditsy. you are being a bit precious.

dd won't remember the incident.

sunshiney · 03/07/2009 20:08

eh? she was just trying to say a few nice words to your child!
YABU

FlappyTheBat · 03/07/2009 20:17

YABVU and sounds as if your dh has anger management issues if such an innocuous incident can make him furious.

She is going to be 2, she will probably have forgotten that what a slide is by the time it arrives, I doubt very much that a 2 year old will associate a picture in a brochure with slide that appears in her own garden.

She won't even be fully aware that it is her birthday, she'll just be excited because everyone else is.

Enjoy the day and seeing her enjoyment when she plays on her slide.

Goober · 03/07/2009 20:22

Your DD would have forgotten all about it by now.

chegirl · 03/07/2009 20:25

I know you say your DD 'understands everything' but do you really think she is going to remember what happened in the shop and not be amazed when it arrives?

If she hasnt mentioned it, she hasnt a clue. Most two year olds IME would be following you around whinging 'where's the slide Mummy? Wheres the slide Mummy, where's the slide Mummy?' until you went round the twist.

You are taking a pretty big risk taking your kids to buy their 'suprise' birthday present anway arnt you?

I believe JL has an online facility for just these sort of occasions.

CyradisTheSeer · 03/07/2009 20:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ConnieComplaint · 03/07/2009 20:30

How would a 2-year-old put a stranger & a picture in a book together & even think about her birthday.............

Anyway, you say it's for all of them to share, it isn't actually her present then, is it?

cheesesarnie · 03/07/2009 20:31

i think you are being a tad precious.

your dd is two and hasnt mentioned it,the lady was being nice entertaining your dc whilst you paid,shes obviously not a mind reader and...just and!

FiveGoMadInDorset · 03/07/2009 20:32

You still haven't said whether you told her it was a surprise

cheesesarnie · 03/07/2009 20:34

CyradisTheSeer-i thought that!

mine have had big present to share for christmas but like you said if 'It's the first birthday dd will sort of understand'and the dd is as bright and understanding as op says then wont the dd be bit confused?

Sidge · 03/07/2009 20:35

Wow I know John Lewis is the best store in the world but I didn't know their staff are usually psychic!

NightShoe · 03/07/2009 20:38

YABU especially to consider complaining! Your DD is only almost 2, she will have forgotten what was said even if she does "understand everything" (trust me she doesn't). The assistant was trying to be kind. If you want a surprise next time shop online and don't take your DD with you but in reality the surprise is spoiled in your eyes, not your DD's, and you should be mature enough to handle that.

Dawnybabe · 03/07/2009 20:38

My dd2 aged 2.5 would have understood exactly what the lady said. She has conversations and arguments with us now, she is very articulate. So I'm sure other 2yo's can make out that a slide might be in the offing. However you really ought to be annoyed with yourself for not asking her not to say anything if your daughter appeared. Having said that, I probably would have said something, like 'actually it was meant to be a surprise', so maybe she'll watch what she says to customers' kids in future!

moondog · 03/07/2009 20:38

FFS, get a grip.

FairLadyRantALot · 03/07/2009 20:46

erm...now I am a bit at people saying "oh, if it is for the Kids t share it is not really a present"....because, here I have to defend OP...surely if you have more than one child things like slides will end up shared? Natural process...no...????
Whilst in my house the Kid who owns it has a right over the toy, usually they will be fine to jsut share it and make it "communal property"?
Or maybe we are weird, lol...

JemL · 03/07/2009 20:49

If the children were with you, there is no way she could have assumed it was a surprise.

We bought DS a slide for Christmas when he was nearly 2. He was with us in the shop, saw the box with a picture of a slide on and saw it in our bedroom before it was wrapped up. He still went apeshit for it christmas morning and went on it repeatedly for 20 minutes before even opening anything else.

Grendle · 03/07/2009 21:23

Yeah, you're right I was being precious. Sorry, I was having a really shit morning . I'm pregnant and have a really horrid itchy rash all over, so I'm grumpy and easily reduced to tears -remember that over-emotional bit of pregnancy ? Something I was also really looking forward to doing this morning was cancelled, so I wasn't in the most positive frame of mind to start with.

I reckon you're right and dd either didn't listen or has forgotten . I have seen her associate pictures with real things, so that is something she can do and I do think some on here are seriously underestimating the abilities of an almost 2 year old. She's been talking lots since before Christmas, uses complex sentences, asks 'why' all the time etc.

You're also all right of course that whether she remembers or not will be irrelevant to the enjoyment, and that it was me that was sad not her. Yes, of course in hindsight I should have told the woman it was a suprise -I just never envisaged her bending down, leafing through the catalogue to the right page and pointing it out specifically to dd as something I had bought for her! It's not something I would predict a shop assistent to do, perhaps any more than most shop assistants would psyichically predict that a mother with 2 kids in tow is buying a surprise for one of them .

It is for the kids to share. We don't spend that sort of amount on presents, so along with the original climbing frame it attaches to, it's being bought from a combination of money from us and relatives for both cildren's birthdays. The original part of the present was unveiled on ds's birthday and this extra part is being unveiled on dds. We will make it clear it's for both of them, just as with the frame, but it will be a special and exciting new toy to play with on her birthday.

dh -anger management issues, blimey you've totally not met him , couldn't be further from the truth. I guess furious was over-stating it a bit, he was probably more "outraged in sympathy with his currently slightly bonkers pregnant and easily tearful wife" .

Anyway, IABU, good to know .

OP posts:
Yurtgirl · 03/07/2009 21:32

Hi Grendle - No comment on the thread as such - but have you had the annoying rash checked out by your midwife/gp

I had a mega annoying rash - 'pregnancy erruption' or similar weird name - was horrible, from 37 weeks till baby was 7 weeks, nightmare!

There is another rash though that if you have got it you need to get it checked out asap - something to do with liver?
I wanted to point this out just in casa you havent already had it looked at

hunkermunker · 03/07/2009 21:34

Hey, Grendle, don't worry about it - I am sure everyone on here's overreacted emotionally about something they wouldn't normally have given two seconds' thought to - you're pregnant, itchy (you poor thing) and it's v hot - and you posted your immediate and emotional reaction.

Chin up, lovely - your DD will adore the slide, your DH was being supportive of you and DS will love sharing the slide too.

All good.

Anyone who wants to continue telling you you are being unreasonable can get past me first. You sit there in the now-cool back garden and have a long drink of, I dunno, pineapple and soda

ConnieComplaint · 03/07/2009 21:39

Aww, have been there & acted like that when PG.... sorry for bein a cow

I totally admire your dh for his supportive and irrational anger..... at least he didn't dismiss a pegnant & itchy woman.

Actually I got a parking ticket when pg with ds... I wept & pleaded for the big policeman not to write it but he said he had started it so had to continue....

Grendle · 03/07/2009 21:41

Thanks hunker

Yurtgirl -thanks for pointing this out and you're absolutely right. I've been to the GP and it's innocuous fortunately, but he's not sure if it will go or not (depends on if it's bacterial or triggered by pregnancy, so am taking antibiotics and if it goes away then it's the former). I'm only about half way through the pregnancy, so am really hoping it will, as the itching is driving me mad and I have no patience with the dcs . Sorry to hear you suffered too.

OP posts:
Yurtgirl · 03/07/2009 21:45

I hope the antibios help - I was offered all sorts of weird creams and wet wrapping as a solution (dont ask)

Im glad you have had it checked out - cos the asap trip to gp rash is really serious

Serious thread hijack now!
this is what I had!

piscesmoon · 03/07/2009 21:45

It isn't going to spoil the surprise of her present. However articulate she is, she has no experience of birthdays (she won't remember her last one). You do have to mention to shop assistants if it is a secret. I would have started the conversation with 'I don't want DD to know'. Put it down to experience and handle it differently next time.

piscesmoon · 03/07/2009 21:47

Sorry everyone posted so quickly I got left behind! Have a lovely birthday.

chegirl · 03/07/2009 21:49

I had a horrible rash with DS1. It only covered my belly and looked really weird. It was like little targets. It drove me mad.

Awwww poor Grendle. Hope your rash gets better and you have a nice birthday with DD.