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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be horrified and appalled at comments on mumsnet that have been directed at a ten year old child?

62 replies

theBFG · 31/05/2009 17:58

Yes, I realize this is essentially a thread about a thread and yes, I realize that everyone has had enough of BGT.

But having clicked on last night's thread I was to see the kinds of comments directed towards Holly. Comments such as 'You can see why she is bullied can't you?'

And comments comparing her to the child out of Charly and the chocolate factory.

All this based on a two minute clip of her on Friday night.

Now, regardless of opinions of her actual performance, or whether she did or did not have a tantrum, or whether people think the whole thing was staged, people seem to have lost sight of the fact that this is a ten year old child that they are putting down on a public website.

A child who, if she really is being bullied, will probably continue to be bullied after her performance on friday night.

Would people make such horrible comments about friends' children? Or the children of people you knew to be mumsnetters?

If not what gives people the right to make such horrible comments about an unknown child?

OP posts:
ssd · 31/05/2009 17:58

I agree

GypsyMoth · 31/05/2009 17:59

Truth usually does hurt.......get over it now. Time to move on.

hercules1 · 31/05/2009 17:59

I agree also.

Picante · 31/05/2009 18:00

You'd better not look at some of the groups on Facebook then. Quite horrible.

She was annoying imo. I don't think there's any harm in saying a child is annoying.

HecatesTwopenceworth · 31/05/2009 18:01

No, it's pretty awful for an adult to be vile about a small child, if they were being vile - not seen thread, (or if I have I can't remember!!)

beanieb · 31/05/2009 18:01

YABU to start another thread about it.

FeelMuchBrighterToday · 31/05/2009 18:02

examples of these appalling comments please

lockets · 31/05/2009 18:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

sherby · 31/05/2009 18:04

I think she was annoying in a normal 10yr old way, it was horribly cringe worthy when she started saying please please please, but don't most children do that when they are 10 and can't get their own way

frankbestfriend · 31/05/2009 18:04

I agree.
Obviously the author of that appalling comment about bullying has children that never cry/tantrum.

The truth hurts? So you actually agree that grown women vilifying a 10yo girl is ok Tiffany?

Totally unnacceptable imo.

OP yadnbu

Original poster
theBFG · 31/05/2009 18:05

I gave examples in my op. One poster actually said 'you can see why she is bullied can't you?'

The thread is the Britain's got talent final one.

Whatever the opinions on her ability or inability to perform, justification of bullying is never acceptable.

OP posts:
Original poster
theBFG · 31/05/2009 18:08

Lockets I agree the parents should have taken her home. I also don't think she should have been put through to the final.

I also don't think she was the best performer of the night and that kind of criticism is valid as if she wants to become a performer she will need to get used to criticism of that type.

But the rest is just spiteful nastyness.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 31/05/2009 18:11

People spoke their minds, didn't read the whole thread but was forced to watch he show with DC's........and the DC and their friends were saying pretty awfull things too!!!!

Put yourself up there, and EXPECT to be villified (as well as admired) her bloody mother was wrong too in my eyes.

Quattrocento · 31/05/2009 18:12

I agree with you btw but WHAT were the parents thinking? That poor girl ...

2shoes · 31/05/2009 18:13

why is this thread in AIBU?

frankbestfriend · 31/05/2009 18:18

I'm afraid I don't think that 'speaking your mind' is acceptable, when the thoughts you have are justification of bullying a 10yo girl.

Direct your vitriol at the parents, but bite your tongue with regard to children.

violethill · 31/05/2009 18:19

Nope I think she came across as a pretty unpleasant, manipulative child, in contrast to the other (genuinely talented) children of similar age in the contest. And I also think her parents ought to be ashamed of themselves for allowing her to show herself like that to millions of viewers.

And to the OP - I'm sure that posting in AIBU, you know darn well that not everyone will agree with you, so you are choosing to resurrect the issue, knowing that it will result in more unpleasant exposure of a thoroughly embarrassing incident.

dittany · 31/05/2009 18:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RumourOfAHurricane · 31/05/2009 18:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

frankbestfriend · 31/05/2009 18:26

I find those sort of comments (unpleasant/manipulative) quite distasteful, violethill.

She cried. And even if she did it to get her own way, that makes her neither unpleasant or manipulative. She is a child.

Contain yourself, ffs.

violethill · 31/05/2009 18:30

There were other children in the contest frank, who composed themselves perfectly during their performance, and also in the face of some very honest, and sometimes quite harsh, criticism.

So clearly, this is not the behaviour of all ten year olds. If you are going to put yourself forward for BGT in front of millions of viewers, then I think you are accepting that you are going to be exposed - the outcome may be positive or negative. I don't agree that a ten year old has no idea of that. My children at ten years old would have told me to bugger off if I'd tried to make them do something like this and they weren't up for it.

GypsyMoth · 31/05/2009 18:33

How do you think it was staged dittany?

Her mother asking first for her to go again made the little tantrum inevitable I guess, but can't see how it could be staged

morningpaper · 31/05/2009 18:39

Yuck, this is why I hate this sort of telly

Throwing normal people to the tabloid-eating public to be ripped to shreds

nasty

violethill · 31/05/2009 18:42

How was it staged?

Are you serious?

The girl lost it murdering singing Eidelweiss. Not totally surprising, as she seems to have very little genuine musicality - she's been coached to within an inch of her life.
Cue: tears, frantic bobbing up and down, almost stamping her foot and frantic pleas to 'please have another go'
Cue: Ant being told through his earpiece by the producer, no siree, she can't have another go
Cue: Simon Cowell, overiding the producer on live TV, and saying, yes, we'll find time for you to have another go. Whatever you think of our Simon, he's dead quick at seeing an opportunity - the girl would obviously get the sympathy vote and go on to the Final, guaranteeing even more viewers desperate to see if she blows it again or manages to come through. And no doubt they'll be newspaper interviews with Hollie and her mother to follow.

And you ask if there's manipulation going on. Get real!

frankbestfriend · 31/05/2009 18:45

I disagree.

The responsibility lies with her parents. A 10yo from Accrington cannot be expected to be fully aware of the consequences of being that exposed.

Obviously, Hollie was far less mature, and less equipped to deal with the situation than some of the other children that appeared. Her parents should have been aware of this.

I can't imagine how you think it is OK to direct your vitriol emotionally immature 10yo girl.

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