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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be horrified and appalled at comments on mumsnet that have been directed at a ten year old child?

62 replies

theBFG · 31/05/2009 17:58

Yes, I realize this is essentially a thread about a thread and yes, I realize that everyone has had enough of BGT.

But having clicked on last night's thread I was to see the kinds of comments directed towards Holly. Comments such as 'You can see why she is bullied can't you?'

And comments comparing her to the child out of Charly and the chocolate factory.

All this based on a two minute clip of her on Friday night.

Now, regardless of opinions of her actual performance, or whether she did or did not have a tantrum, or whether people think the whole thing was staged, people seem to have lost sight of the fact that this is a ten year old child that they are putting down on a public website.

A child who, if she really is being bullied, will probably continue to be bullied after her performance on friday night.

Would people make such horrible comments about friends' children? Or the children of people you knew to be mumsnetters?

If not what gives people the right to make such horrible comments about an unknown child?

OP posts:

frankbestfriend · 31/05/2009 18:46

*at an emotionally immature 10yo girl

MollieO · 31/05/2009 18:46

Unusually I've had a social life this weekend so missed most of this. From what I saw of the clip on you tube Hollie asked to have another go before her mother got involved. In fact from what I saw she asked as soon as she stopped singing.

I didn't see the final and haven't read the thread since a brief look last night but I do think it is poor form to make nasty comments on a website where most of us have children and wouldn't like it if someone said nasty things about them.

Quattrocento · 31/05/2009 18:50

LOL at a 10 yo from Accrington ...

Implies that a 10 yo from somewhere more cosmopolitan (Liverpool?) would have been savvy enough to cope

TBM · 31/05/2009 18:54

Did all the adults behave the same way? If not then why should we expect children to?

I hate this idea that you see over different things that all children should be alike, but adults are allowed to behave and be different.

poshsinglemum · 31/05/2009 18:57

yanbu

i feel sorry for the poor lass. i liked her.

Quattrocento · 31/05/2009 18:57

Well there's behave ... and there's misbehave ...

poshsinglemum · 31/05/2009 18:59

oh come on- a ten year old isn't going to behave like an adult. lets not be silly now.

frankbestfriend · 31/05/2009 18:59

I do think that a 10yo living in London and attending stage school would be a little more savvy, QC.

Regardless, the responsibility lies with her parents, and violethill's suggestion that Hollie should have been aware of the consequences of appearing on this sort of tabloid fuelled programme are ridiculous.

Longtalljosie · 31/05/2009 19:00

I don't think her parents would have had a clue how being in the eye of a media storm would have felt.

Her daughter's good at singing and they probably thought it would be exciting to be on the telly. In terms of her being emotionally mature - you would need to be astonishingly so do deal with famous people, live TV and a huge audience. Especially the huge audience.

Had they realised that she would be vilified in this way, they would possibly never have done it, I imagine. OP - YANBU, but it's sad that people think that people on TV are in some way not "real" - it's that kind of "throw them to the lions" attitude that saddens me.

dittany · 31/05/2009 19:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

violethill · 31/05/2009 19:02

I thought Natalie Okri (who is surely no older than Hollie) was more deserving of a second chance because

a) she could actually sing better than Hollie
b) she didn't screw it up
c) she was disadvantaged by being in a semi final against better competition.

Now it would have been interesting to see how it would have panned out if natalie had been in the Friday semi final. If it had been Hollie throwing a wobbly and getting another go, then getting the sympathy vote and ruining Natalie's chances I bet there would be far less sympathy towards Hollie than we're seeing here.

Bottom line is: she couldn't hack it, she's not very talented and got through to the Final on a sympathy vote.
She's getting some flak for that. Well, really? What a surprise.

LaurieFairyCake · 31/05/2009 19:11

DD is 11 (just, like last week) and said about Hollie that she was being manipulative like she was sometimes and only pretendng to cry and that she was silly and shouldn't be given a second chance as the adults didn't get one.

I agreed with her.

oodlesofpoodles · 31/05/2009 19:12

I feel sorry for her. I'm not a fan but the personal attacks against her are awful. I think if her parents had withdrawn her from the final so someone else could have the place then she would have gained a lot of respect. She isn't mature enough to see the long term consequences of getting to the final by hook or by crook but her parents are.

They had the choice between having her perceived as a brat who manipulated her way into the final or a girl who gallently stepped aside for a stronger competitor and imo they chose badly.

I wish Natalie Okri had made it through instead.

violethill · 31/05/2009 19:13

My children were also appalled Laurie. And equally, they were impressed by the kids on there with real talent who composed themselves beautifully.

scarletlilybug · 31/05/2009 19:13

Some very nasty comments here. Shame.

beanieb · 31/05/2009 19:15

oh if only this thread weren't here, and then there would be no nasty comments here

violethill · 31/05/2009 19:18

oodles - I agree that the parents had an opportunity to either step down gracefully (because quite frankly, even though Hollie didn't break down in the Final, it wasn't a hugely enjoyable experience for many of us!!). This would have opened the way for another contender. I bet Simon Cowell, having been seen to give her another chance, would have been equally happy to let her stand down and let someone like Natalie through. Would have been great TV.

But the parents were obviously more concerned with Hollie getting through to the Final. Shame.

Morloth · 31/05/2009 19:19

ILoveTIFFANY "People spoke their minds"

That is what worries me, who can think that way about a little kid? Towards her mother, sure, but she is just a little kid.

onagar · 31/05/2009 19:20

I expected better from parents too. I know single people who are like that with kids, but I figure they don't know any better.

QOD · 31/05/2009 19:21

oh weird, i totally saw it as her losing her way momentarily, trying to recover, not being able & asking to restart. I didn't view it as a tantrum or anything like that

letsgostrawberrypicking · 31/05/2009 20:01

me too QOD - until her mum came along, I suppose like most children she felt a bit stronger with mum there and got a little stroppy. Actually I dont blame the mum for asking for s 2nd chance as faced with a sobbing child I think i would have done the same. Probably wrong of me but if it's your LO who has waited weeks/months for this night would you really think "Oh she's overtired, I'll take her home now"??? I dont think so!

My dds were unimpressed too with what happened(you know what children are like with others they think are "showing off" a bit!) thank goodness there isnt a Kidsnet or the comments would be far worse

Quattrocento · 31/05/2009 20:07

DD opined that she wouldn't want to be in that little girl's shoes going back to school tomorrow. It'll be forgotten in a week - I hope.

violethill · 31/05/2009 20:09

Not if people keep starting threads like this one though!

Greensleeves · 31/05/2009 20:22

I just watched it on youtube after reading this

She looks quite immature and very young for ten to me

the meltdown bit was quite cringey to watch - of course it was - but to me that's just more evidence of why little children shouldn't be anywhere near tripe like this show (I don't watch it but can imagine)

If she is a brat, it's not her fault - and I don't think we can deduce from that behaviour in that context that she is a brat. If she had been mine I would have lifted her off the stage and taken her home - but then had she been mine she would have been at home, in bed, and without all that sickly pink crap all over her face.

Depressing all round really - the show, the kid, the mother, the judges and this thread

FairLadyRantALot · 31/05/2009 20:25

wouldn't it been better to voice your opinion on the already existing thread, ratehr than opening another one that was bound to be doomed and only get even more nasty comments...

fwiw..I do agree op, I think it is sad...whatever the truth is, staged or not...it wasn't the little girsl fault, was it.....

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