to leave DD(7) sitting on the loo crying for 20 minutes because I won't wipe her bottom?

[sandyballs]

I think not, DH thinks I am. I'm just sick of it, she's 7, not 3. I feel I need to start taking a harder approach to it. She manages at school without any problems so it must be laziness, 'oh Mum is here, I'll let her do it' .

I agree with you actually. If she can do it at school, then she can definitely do it at home!

YANBU at all. I'd leave my 7 year old sat there all day. Mine wouldn't even consider asking me to wipe his bottom.

yes, I think you are, sorry1

My dd who is six, still struggles a little, I think it's because her feet don't touch the ground whilst sitting on the loo, so she has trouble balancing (school loos are lower). If she stands up to do it, cheeks come together, and you don't get such a good wipe.

Why don't you say you will wait till she's done it, then check her bum? If she needs a bit more of a wipe she can then do it again, and so on....

YANBU

Goodness me, yes you are perfectly reasonable!

go & have a cup of tea!

YA(most def).NBU-I would happily leave her there and get on with other stuff. Its a power thing so don't waiver

absolutely not being unreasonable

I do the same for 3 year olds to be honest

me too Twiglett. Once they have potty trained a few months my children very quickly learn to wipe their own arses.

God, yes, didn't do that after the age of 3. She's just attention seeking.

You are being perfectly reasonable. Fwiw I've found supplying moist loo roll as well as the normal stuff helps the dc's with wiping bottoms, they seem to have cleaner underwear - sorry if tmi

My 4 year old manages it, (and has done since she was 3). Me thinks 7 year old dd is taking you for a mug!

Yes if she can do it at school then she needs to know that she can do it herself at home.
They get into habits. School = wipe own bum, home = mum wipes bum.
You maybe need to make her see that she is able to do it at home too. Perhaps you could try some reward scheme etc to encourage her to do it herself at home as well? Or am I just used to the standoffs with my two if I try and get them to do something themselves by me ignoring them

My ds1 is 3, ds2 just potty trained. I long for the day when they will just go to the loo and I won't have to hear 'come and wipe my bottom properly pweeeeese' shouted down the stairs.

My 7 year old can and does wipe his own bottom - but still asks me to do it at home - and I do. I think it's a choose your battles thing. I don't mind helping him, he likes to be helped and it makes him feel looked after. Can't see a problem myself - he won't still be asking when he's 16!

I think they have to be so very grown up so much of the time that a little bit of babying doesn't do them any harm.

I used to find it strange that my nephew would come and stay and shout me to wipe his bum when DD who is 16months younger wiped her own.

yanbu, I don't even wipe DS1's and he is 3.

.. really seeker? at 7?

I had a four year old girl who had come to play ask me to wipe her bottom the other day. I just said no! 'Mummy says I can't' 'well I think you are a big girl and you can'. And she did!

i dont wipe my 3.3 years olds bum (unless serious bowel issues ) never mind a 7 year olds. if she can do it at school she can do it at home.

Yup. Scarred for life, my ds is!

And I let him go out on his own on his bike and use sharp knives and use the microwave. And he has been sailing on his own (on a lake, not the sea, I hasten to add). But he likes to be babied sometimes.

I do the same to my 5 year old, he isnt happy about it but has now stopped making such a drama about it - he doesnt make a particularly good job of it either but he has to learn.

His assurance that he "never goes at school" is really irrelevant the day will come one day when he needs to go at school so its far better that he learns at home than at school.

uh ok

actually, twiglett, I've just realized that a combination of infantilizing by his mother in some areas and excessive enforced independence in others sounds like a recipe for a serial killer......ooops.