Husband’s comment at dinner

[GingerCakeLover]

So husband made a comment about the dinner I cooked for the family this evening and I’ve lost my shit with him and I’m currently sitting in our bedroom with the door shut so I can calm down. Looking for AIBU opinions because I’m also perimenopausal and just getting over the horrible fluey/cold that’s doing the rounds and I’ve had very little sleep the last week, so I admit I may be a tad more emotional than usual!

Basically today is the first day I’ve felt better in a week. I spent my day catching up on laundry, running the hoover round, tidying the house, walking the dog and cooking dinner.

DH suffers with high blood pressure so he always wants to eat healthy to lower it rather than go on tablets. Fair enough. We’ve all had this lurgy, and haven’t been eating much, so I thought I would cook a lovely Sunday dinner of some roast potatoes in the air fryer with fry-light, 3 different types of steamed veg and a giant pig-in-blanket which I found a new recipe for, but because DH is being careful what he eats I bulked the sausage meat out with apples, onions, grated carrot, breadcrumbs etc to make it lower in fat for DH.

All DH has done today is ride his mountain bike, potter about in the garden and sit in the log cabin for long periods with cups of tea scrolling Facebook.

The first comment he made when I put his dinner in front of him at the table this evening was ‘Oh I’d better get the defibrillator out’.

Sounds silly writing it, but I just saw red - I’ve been busy all day doing housework and preparing and cooking a nice meal whilst he does exactly what he wants, and the first comment he makes has to be an implied criticism. I honestly wanted to jam his face into his dinner 😂

Be honest people, would that wind you up too or am I just reactive because I’m tired and hormonal??

If he wants a special diet he should be doing his research, meal planning and cooking. Has he seen a dietician for correct advice and is his doctor happy with his decision?
How high is his blood pressure?
It all sounds a bit risky to me.

It's his responsibility to find out. It isn't her responsibility to be his skivvy.

It sounds as if he is managing high cholesterol as well as high blood pressure. Either way it still sounds risky.
I wonder what actual medical advice he is following.

If he has special dietary requirements he can do his own cooking. I hate when DH declares he is going on a diet and then expects me to cater for it. Planning dinners is hard enough work as it is and we eat generally well (home cooked meals with lots of variety, very limtied UPF) - if he wants anything specific for himself he can sort that .

That would be a lighthearted joke in my house, not anything either of us would take to be a serious complaint, or anything anyone would be offended by.

Excellent. Gave both DH and I a good laugh.

It was a badly timed comment and he should have been more aware before making it. Its time he started stepping up if he has comments to pass. I too get fed up of the endless TV watching, phone scrolling and complete lack of awareness of jobs that need doing around him

YABU for blaming it on your hormones. His comment was 'banter' and you didn't find it funny and I don't blame you.
XP once was rude about the food I cooked. I tipped his plate into the bin. He didn't do it again. (XP because of other things.)

Yep I suspect this is just the catalyst @GingerCakeLover

Why oh why did you need to do so much and he so little? Especially given you have been ill.

Did he step up at all why you were ill?

How is he in general in terms of doing "his share"?

I'd have taken his plate from him and told him to make his own dinner then.

Can we please stop blaming women losing their shit with absolutely useless men on perimenopause please. It's so sodding reductive.

i feel the comment was meant as a joke and something to giggle at....It sounds like something my DH would say, and we would laugh. When hormonal, sometimes the little jokes and comments don't land the way they are intended. Maybe say that to him...

Obviously a poster going through perimenopause.

Women's hormones are to blame for most things, aren't they?

Fortunately I had no idea that there was something called perimenopause so didn't have it. Looking back I can recognise that there were changes but other than my previously regular periods being unpredictable and far heavier, it was nothing.

Your hormones aren't to blame for your partner being a twat.

Thank you everyone, you’ve made me feel like I’m not going mad after all. I’m not normally a doormat, and I’m never afraid to put a bomb up someone’s arse in this house when needed, but sometimes it’s just easier to crack on and get the jobs done and honestly I didn’t have the energy to argue so I just did everything and thought that at least we could all sit down together for a lovely dinner after a trying week.

All’s well that ends well - when he was served a full bowl of broccolli for dinner with nothing else, I told him that I was just making sure he wouldn’t need to get the defib out after dinner. I won’t lie, revenge is sweet 😆

He sounds like a pig.

Agree.
An ignorant, selfish, lazy pig.
What awful modelling for their children.
Mind you, put up with shit and thats what you'll get more of.

Hi. Side question - what is a giant pigs in blanket?
Pigs in blankets here are cocktail sausages wrapped in bacon.

😂😂😂😂😂😂

That would annoy me too.

When you’re calm, I think you should explain why you were so upset.

This kind of communication now can save a world of pent-up resentment later on.