To let her have it both barrels?

[Flibberyjibbert]

DS has been getting low level grief off a boy in school. I tried talking to the mum and it didn't work, so I've been reporting it to school every time instead. She must have been receiving calls from the school about it.

A few weeks ago she accosted me after we'd put the dc on the bus. She absolutely tore a strip off me, telling me I'm a horrible person, no one likes me, criticising me, my family, my job, my house, just absolute hatred.

I wasn't well (covid) and was a bit stunned so didn't really argue back, I was just stood there like a lemon.

Having sat on it for a few weeks I feel like I just can't let it go. I have so much I want to say to her, she is an absolutely horrible individual and letting her think that I took all her comments on board probably makes her feel vindicated.

The sensible half of me thinks let it go, karma will get her. The devil on my shoulder is preparing a speech to deliver to her to leave her in no doubt who the horrible person is amongst us.

WWYD?

It's bad enough her son is behaving the way he is towards your daughter, don't escalate the whole situation by creating a full-on war outside of school.

Just keep taking it to the school.

Remember it's ok to feel smug. After all she has an awful dc
.

I would hold my head high and blank her completely. Let school deal with it. You’re indifference to her would hurt/annoy her more.

She's a nutcase, obviously. So why would you engage further with her, what could possibly be gained?

Yeah and you’ll feel better for all of 2 minutes
the chance of her realising the error of her ways backing down and apologising are zero

also sounds like she got being a twat off to a tee so she’ll run rings round you and no guarantee you’ll get the upper hand

people like this thrive off reaction and drama so don’t give it to her

The unfortunate thing about karma is that it’s so unusual and so unreliable as to be remarkable and notable on the rare when it happens. So don’t rely on that.

Just ignore the bitch..

A few weeks ago?

No, the horse has bolted I’m afraid.

All you’ll do is let her know she got to you so badly that you’ve been stewing all this time.

Write it out the furious retort on a proper bit of paper.. Every word. Read it aloud with your best enraged intonation to the four winds. And then burn the paper.
Surprisingly satisfying.

You'll look like an idiot, just like she did. Why would you sink to her level? At least you know where her kid is learning it from

This ^^. She wants you to stop. Don't do that. Quietly keep taking it to the school. Update the school on this personal attack as well.

What’s that phrase? Don’t argue with a pig in mud, you both end up smelling like shit but the pig likes it? Something like that. She’d love a slanging match. Raise yourself above it, she’s not worth it and won’t listen to you pov anyway. Keep taking it to the school.

Well her DC obviously get it from her - great role model - so I doubt she notices anything wrong, so she probably believes she’s right. Probably no point, much as it would be satisfying @Flibberyjibbert but will people believe her rantings over your side of the story?

Don't do it, she sounds the sort that loves conflict so she'll come back at you twice as vicious and you'll be lost for words again

Just be internally satisfied that she is a loser and her child is a loser and if she ever approaches you again just blank her as if she isn't there and walk away

I would just ignore her and keep reporting it to the school every single time.

Unless it gets worse with the kid. I am in fact of the opinion that some bullies need an after school scare.

You might not have done it intentionally but I think you did the right thing.
The apple did not fall far from the tree.
I would just make up a sentence or two to shut her down cleverly if she does this again - maybe mumsnetters can help with some one liners.

Feed the monster and you’ll get a bigger monster.

Don’t go to her level OP, you’re better than her. By the same token, don’t let her intimidate you into not reporting her child’s behaviour. Were there any witnesses to her tirade to you?

Well that's a completely unanimous verdict to leave well alone, I wasn't expecting that.

I will follow your wise advice. You are all right of course, if I had it out with her there would no doubt be Facebook posts, whispering to other Mums about me etc, and it would continue to rumble on.

@Vaguelyclassical I really like your idea, would be very cathartic I imagine.

If you unload both barrels at her she'll come back fighting with everything she's got, which will likely be worse than anything you said, and you'll be right back where you are.
Its probably driving her crazy what you are doing right now. Just stick with it. Ignore her and deal with the school.

Oh I would tell her about herself-Big time. However the event has passed now so save the speech in your head for if she kicks off again.

Who says it has to be outside school?

Don't fight the monster and he grows and grows until he comes back even bigger than before. Deal with it while it's small enough to