I've recently ended a long-term relationship over my partner's friendship with another woman, and I'd genuinely appreciate some honest opinions.
I'm a confident, independent and generally secure person. I've never had an issue with female friends, but this situation was different.
Several years ago, my partner became very close to a married woman who worked in emotional wellbeing. They exchanged affectionate messages, including expressions of love and heart emojis, which I tried to put down to her naturally affectionate personality.
However, my biggest issue was how my partner treated me. He constantly praised her, told me how amazing she was, how well she understood him and even questioned why I couldn't communicate like her. At times, it almost felt like he was deliberately trying to make me jealous.
He also visited her at home when her husband was working, sometimes without my knowledge.
I'd never experienced insecurity like this before, but his constant comparisons destroyed my confidence. I spent years questioning why I wasn't good enough.
I even suggested that the four of us, including her husband, should meet socially. If she was such an important friend, why couldn't I get to know her?
Unfortunately, that never happened.
Eventually, my partner acknowledged how much he'd hurt me and apologised. For several years afterwards, she was barely mentioned, and I finally managed to put that painful period behind me.
Recently, he mentioned someone had invited him to meet up. I initially suggested he go, not knowing it was her.
When I discovered who it was, my stomach dropped.
I explained how much his previous behaviour had damaged me and that I'd promised myself never to experience that situation again.
I couldn't bring myself to tell him not to see her. He's an adult, and I don't believe in controlling someone's friendships.
But I desperately hoped that, knowing the history and how much he'd hurt me, he'd voluntarily decide not to go.
Instead, he became incredibly defensive, repeatedly insisting he'd done nothing wrong and that I needed to separate the past from the present. I felt I couldn't even discuss my feelings without him becoming defensive.
I'd made it very clear that I couldn't go through that situation again and that our relationship was at risk.
On the day they were due to meet, I asked whether he'd gone ahead with it.
He refused to answer.
Even when I told him I was taking his refusal as a yes, he still wouldn't deny it.
I strongly believe he went anyway, knowing I might walk away. I can't help wondering whether he refused to admit it because he knew what it would mean for our relationship.
I ended the relationship, despite still loving him and never wanting us to separate.
I've since reached out asking for one honest answer, explaining that if he didn't go, it would change how I felt about the breakup. I've received no response.
What I'm struggling with is that it wasn't just about one meeting. What about every time he wanted to see her afterwards?
Was I expected to smile and pretend everything was fine, knowing what I'd already endured for years?
I felt completely trapped. I couldn't tell him who he could see, but I couldn't face going through that pain again either.
I wasn't asking him to choose between two women. I was hoping he'd care enough about what he'd previously put me through to make that decision himself.
Am I unreasonable for hoping he'd voluntarily distance himself from this particular friendship? Would you have stayed or walked away?