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abortion when no family

45 replies

dinosaursroars · 18/10/2026 00:07

i know i’m going to get judged but i need advise

my last period was 18th august but it was weird and lasted 11 days which is not normal, i missed my sept period but didn’t think much of it due to the long one but im due on again and nothing so i took a test and im pregnant

im not with the dad anymore, i ended things and i don’t want to take him back like before, me and my children are happy and my youngest is only nearly 9 months

i want to focus next year on us, we have just been offered a house and even tho i would have another if i have unlimited money and time and space i cant have another it’s not fair on my children but i dont know how far along i am or how to have an abortion what no help, just me and my children

i don’t know why i always do this

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 18/10/2026 00:16

I am so sorry op. No judgement. First you need to find out how far along you are. Then you can make a plan.

PollyBell · 18/10/2026 00:17

Go to the doctors and get a permanent solution, ypu have to put your current children first and stop having these men in their lives

sittingonabeach · 18/10/2026 00:20

What do you mean you always do this?

dinosaursroars · 18/10/2026 00:21

PollyBell · 18/10/2026 00:17

Go to the doctors and get a permanent solution, ypu have to put your current children first and stop having these men in their lives

the dad is my youngests dad so hell be in my life either way unfortunately

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 18/10/2026 00:23

He isn’t your partner though. He can be in your child’s life. Set boundaries.

PollyBell · 18/10/2026 00:23

dinosaursroars · 18/10/2026 00:21

the dad is my youngests dad so hell be in my life either way unfortunately

I mean future men in your children's life they don't deserve this

movingtotheslowlane · 18/10/2026 01:22

Are you working OP?

movingtotheslowlane · 18/10/2026 01:23

sittingonabeach · 18/10/2026 00:20

What do you mean you always do this?

Screw up by the sounds of it.

dinosaursroars · 18/10/2026 06:58

PollyBell · 18/10/2026 00:23

I mean future men in your children's life they don't deserve this

I already know

OP posts:
VioletsTale · 18/10/2026 08:31

Practical things first. Make an appointment with your GP to discuss options. You might need a dating scan. If your other kids are at school, you might be able to attend these with the baby, unless you have a friend that could watch him. If you’re not too far along, you can take the pills and be home for most of it. It will suck, but it can be done. How old are the other kids? Old enough to be left to their own devices for periods of time or even help?

ChihuahuaChica · 18/10/2026 09:36

Get a GP appt ASAP!
I think it's a really mature decision to proceed with an abortion, as you have so much on your plate with the existing 5.
Good luck and post here if you need support.
X

ThePerfectStormBird · 18/10/2026 09:38

You go to the doctor and say you want a termination. They will set up a scan to see how far along you are and you either take the offered procedure which might be pills or an operation, or you go ahead with the pregnancy.

Gingefringe · 18/10/2026 09:40

How many children do you already have?

MozzieFreeZone · 18/10/2026 09:42

I echo previous posters - get a gp appointment asap.

Meadowfinch · 18/10/2026 09:43

It's simple & straightforward OP. Go to the GP asap and find out how far along you are. If this is difficult, try BPAS or Marie Stopes.

You will be offered pills or a very minor procedure. Accept whichever is offered.

You might feel a bit achey for a couple of days but that will be all. Good luck.

HappyLizard23 · 18/10/2026 09:47

Gingefringe · 18/10/2026 09:40

How many children do you already have?

That’s not relevant and no matter the answer it doesn’t effect her decision

dinosaursroars · 18/10/2026 09:54

VioletsTale · 18/10/2026 08:31

Practical things first. Make an appointment with your GP to discuss options. You might need a dating scan. If your other kids are at school, you might be able to attend these with the baby, unless you have a friend that could watch him. If you’re not too far along, you can take the pills and be home for most of it. It will suck, but it can be done. How old are the other kids? Old enough to be left to their own devices for periods of time or even help?

I dont have friends that would be able to have him. my children are 17, 14, 11, 5 and nearly 9 months

my 11 year old has asd and my 5 year old is likely to have asd or adhd too

OP posts:
sittingonabeach · 18/10/2026 09:55

HappyLizard23 · 18/10/2026 09:47

That’s not relevant and no matter the answer it doesn’t effect her decision

It could be very relevant if having to make a practical decision

Foodylicious · 18/10/2026 10:04

In practical terms, yoy need to have an initial consultation with a clinic. This could be over the phone.
Then you will likely be offered an appt with a scan to date the pregnancy, and talk though the options available to you.
Once you know what the process is (where the procedure will happen, how long it takes, a bit about what to expext with recovery) you will be in a better place to make plans for childcare.
You dont need to share your personal medical information with anyone (unless you want to), so can explain away as a gynae procedure.

Do any od your children go to nursery or childminder?
You might find someone that can do an overnight.
Do the older children have friends they could stay with for a night or two?

HappyLizard23 · 18/10/2026 10:04

sittingonabeach · 18/10/2026 09:55

It could be very relevant if having to make a practical decision

Not really, one child or five, the OPs decision to have an abortion is hers and hers alone. That’s why it’s pro-choice.

DontBuyAnotherBook · 18/10/2026 10:16

Are you the poster who slept on the sofa pregnant because there was no space left for you to sleep as you are really crowded already?

sittingonabeach · 18/10/2026 10:17

HappyLizard23 · 18/10/2026 10:04

Not really, one child or five, the OPs decision to have an abortion is hers and hers alone. That’s why it’s pro-choice.

Then what is the point of a poster coming on here in this situation. We can’t ask or say anything to them? Obviously it will ultimately be her choice but the choice of abortion may be impacted by the number of children you already have. And I would say the number of DC the OP actually has should be a factor in her decision

DontBuyAnotherBook · 18/10/2026 10:18

HappyLizard23 · 18/10/2026 10:04

Not really, one child or five, the OPs decision to have an abortion is hers and hers alone. That’s why it’s pro-choice.

It is relevant because the more children you have the more it impacts on the others.

DontBuyAnotherBook · 18/10/2026 10:23

dinosaursroars · 18/10/2026 09:54

I dont have friends that would be able to have him. my children are 17, 14, 11, 5 and nearly 9 months

my 11 year old has asd and my 5 year old is likely to have asd or adhd too

If I was in your shoes I would have an abortion, OP. You can apply for one online as well I believe.

dinosaursroars · 18/10/2026 10:25

DontBuyAnotherBook · 18/10/2026 10:16

Are you the poster who slept on the sofa pregnant because there was no space left for you to sleep as you are really crowded already?

that was over a year ago. there was room for me but my then 4 year old shared a bed with me and he would kick in the night and id get no sleep. that’s been sorted for months and we’ve been offered a house

OP posts:
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