I want to organise a Halloween party

[Mummy264]

But don’t know how to even begin. I’m an anxious highly shy person but doing this for my daughter who id also a very shy 7 year old. I started off asking the 2 friends she has but the mothers told me they already had plans for Halloween.

So im planning to ask other kids in the class but how shall I go about this? Won’t it be boring for them to come over my home? How can I make it more fun? What kind of things can I do? What about timings? I’m so stressed but really don’t want another year to go by and regret I didn’t organise anything. I work full time so won’t see the mums at drop off or pick up so will have to invite over text. Shall I send text one to one or as a group?

If her two friends are already busy so cannot come and she is shy then truthfully does she want a party?

I'm sure there will be lots of events on locally during half term she can attend but she won't be missing out by you not organising a party.

Halloween party’s don’t need to be on October 31 they can be near the date, just chose another day when they’re free

They could dress up, decorate the house, play apple bobbing, wrap each other up in toilet tissue to make themselves into mummies. Hunt the Halloween sweets etc. make Halloween looking food. You will have great fun

The kids will have fun just being together and excited.

If you're happy to, just take them Trick or Treating basically...

Depending on numbers...
Have them come to yours at 4:30, and they will play a bit at first and be excited to see each other and costumes.

At 5ish.

If small numbers, like 6 or fewer, have them do some sort of craft activity OR decorate a biscuit OR something like a hotdog bar (sausages, onions, mustard, ketchup, cheese slices, rolls, they pick what they want) and have them eat it.

If more than 6, just have a plate of sandwiches, bowls of crisps etc out and they can help themselves.

And then take them out TOTing around 5:30
Home by 6:30.

If adults ask if it's drop and run or stay, id advise stay....

But the kids will have fun if there's 1 or 100 there, so don't panic 😊😊😊

I did a Halloween themed play date for DD in reception, had 5 friends round, I already decorate the house for Halloween so that’s fine, bought them some Halloween themed crafts from the range, Halloween themed food from m&s and let them pick some sweets from the trick and treat bowl on the way out.

If you’re labelling it as a party rather than a play date you’d need to more than that though, games, more guests, dancing etc so think carefully about the wording and people’s expectations!

Invite them via WhatsApp. Create a group and either post that group in the year group chat, or send the link directly to people you want to attend :)

It’s tricky if they have plans already I’d be worried about another Halloween party / event that the other kids might all be at. This has happened to my DC before when one child has a regular party and doesn’t invite them all.

I would probably change the date! Keep it simple and you could do pumpkin shaped sandwiches with a cutter; crisps, seeets some fruit . Play some games like bobbing for apples and donuts on a string. They could all dress up. It’ll be fine :)

Are the kids off school? You might find a lot of people already have plans.

If you’re both shy you won’t enjoy it. Why don’t you just focus on a few play dates and build her confidence up slowly.

Honestly OP this sounds like a terrible idea. Your dd is shy, you dont know the other parents, her friends cant come anyway...

Most people with kids make plans around halloween, even if you have the party a different day they might not want to go out 2 days in a row, particularly to someone's house they don't know. Lots of people will go away for half term.

You could end up getting your dd excited and spending a lot of money and effort for nobody/very few people to turn up, which if she's already shy might knock her confidence even further.

Hosting is expensive, stressful and exhausting, Im not really sure why youd go to the effort if neither you nor your dd sound as though youd even enjoy a big party filled with people you dont know well.

You’re right. I’m not looking forward to it but I feel I should be doing it if that makes sense? I’m already stressed this morning thinking about it and being snappy so not sure what I will be like on the day

Why do you feel like you should be doing it? Mine is a very sociable child but even then we've never hosted a Halloween party it's just not necessary.

I’ve been following an account on social media on how to be a better mum and make your kids fit in and one of the things was to be the mum that organises things and invites people to her house.

I know other kids in the class who go trick or treating together and felt my child probably feels left out as they talk about it in school

Ignore the influencer mums on social media. Your child doesn't need to fit in more and this won't make you a better mum, in fact you've already noted it's making you a worse parent.

A lot will already have plans or traditions on Halloween, personally I wouldn't organise one for the day itself. Maybe look at inviting the friends on a day round it to do Halloween themed activities?

Or just go trick or treating? Reach out to some of the other parents and see if you can meet up? Though if I'm honest we usually just head out and bump into someone

Don’t do it on the actual ‘holiday’ is my advice. At Halloween I want to take my own kids trick or treating or do the apple bobbing etc. I’d be up for doing that with another family but not handing my children over for it and missing out myself! Hosting a play date that is themed and near the day would be a much easier sell.

Just invite kids your daughter likes and most importantly WANTS to have over.

Some kids just prefer to keep home to themselves and don't want their friends over.

That doesn’t have to be a Halloween party though. Can just be tea after school or a weekend play date. Take her trick or treating instead, much less hassle and she might enjoy it more. And ignore social media ‘influencers’ who think they know better than you.

Pick a day her friends can come / don’t worry about other kids

then a bit of dressing up or craft stuff - pumpkins if they are not bored of them ( at 7 I would be surprised at that ) , bob for apples and some Halloween grub - fish FINGERS and blood ( ketchup ) or whatever , eggs as eyeballs to slice into ,

I just feel like I’ve missed out so much. I have an older daughter who is 11 and she was upset last year when kids in primary school went over each others home for Halloween party. I just feel lost and unable to know what is right and what I should be doing. I feel really stuck in what I should be doing

If you want to make it easy on yourself @Mummy264

Go trick and treating

There is usually a local area where every other house decorates and will have a stash of sweets.

A lot of the time (depending on the weather) kids go out, find other kids they know, and you as a parent spend the evening follow them, standing a few steps back from the doorways, watching an increasing pile of sweets thinking “oh my god”.

On the positive side some houses are amazingly decorated, the adults are in character, the kids absolutely love it, it can bring about one night of community on an estate.

I would buy or buy/make her a great costume, get a sweet collection box and hit the streets.

Honestly it’s much more fun than having an organised party.

(Younger kids are usually out 6.30pm-7.30/8pm) older kids stay out later, so you can come home, light your pumpkin and hand out sweets to the later callers (so get some sweets in)

Only knock on houses with decorations, it can just be a pumpkin.

And as a general rule, switch off social
media, it’s a swamp of smoke and mirrors.

I've run a lot of Halloween parties in my time, but I think it sounds like you're trying to run before you walk.

Maybe focus on finding a friend or two for your dc to go trick or treating with? You could invite them for tea and have a craft activity beforehand. That would maybe be more enjoyable for your shy dc anyway, and more manageable for you?

Could you invite the close friends the weekend before and do pumpkin carving and some Halloween activities?

Also, don't believe a thing you see in influencer parenting. It is good to invite friends round sometimes, it lets your dc build relationships and sometimes you get reciprocal invites, but it doesn't have to be a fancy party with a big group.

There isn’t a formula for this.

Some kids click instantly
Some never fit in when younger

Trying to shoehorn your kids and yourself into boxes you think might work is a recipe for disaster.

Take your two kids out on Halloween, see what happens. The worse that will happen is they come home with a bag of sweets.

You don't have to do anything. Halloween has become a competitive display of consumerism with the sole intent of making people spend money. Parents need to start saying 'no' a bit more.

I had our first Halloween party when DS was about that age.

I didn’t get stressed though and after that my house was sort of the place for Halloween gatherings. The other Mothers loved it because it saved them doing anything and they had a couple of hours to themselves If you are this worried then I would suggest going trick or treating. Plus how about doing some crafts, you could make a little witches cottage out of twigs with autumn leaves for the roof and buy some of that self hardening clay to make a cat, cauldron and a Witch.

Those days are long gone as DS is an adult with his own house. We welcome trick or treaters. You could go out very early as she is one of the tiddly ones and then welcome trick or treaters yourself later and get her to come with you to the door to give out sweets with you. I like complimenting kids on their costumes. You get the small ones and then the teens later, we get a lot of trick or treaters in our area, I peaked at 80 kids two years ago calling for sweets.