To say nothing?

[cousinquestion]

Name changed for this.

Happened to be on Facebook earlier today and cousin's husband had shared (accidentally?) a comment he'd made on a Facebook dating site. He deleted it within the hour, so I'm guessing he either realised he'd screwed up or somebody else warned him.

The comment was along the lines of 'when you look that good, who cares', it wasn't personal, I don't think he knew the person he was commenting on but regardless of that it's still a bit/lot of a red flag.

I've opted to say nothing to my cousin because I don't know how the Facebook dating site works, can you only comment if you're a dating site member or, if it happens to show up on your feed, can anyone make a comment?

Either way her husband is an idiot, but I don't want to accuse him of being on dating sites/cheating if it was just a one-off, stupid, inappropriate comment.

YABU - yes, you need to let her know
YANBU - to say nothing

If he is a married man even just making one comment on a dating site is crossing the boundaries of his marriage. There is no innocent explanation. Yes you should tell your cousin what you saw

If you comment on a public FB group it shows up on other people’s newsfeeds.

If it’s public you don’t need to be a member to comment.

I don’t know if the site is public or private, he shared the comment but I’m guessing that was accidental. Not that close to cousin, but quite close to aunt (her mother).

You can’t share comments from private groups. It’s impossible.

It’s not really.

All public groups have more members than private ones for obvious reasons.

So it could have been a public Facebook dating site, sleazy and inappropriate but doesn’t necessarily mean he’s on an actual FB dating site? It was definitely a FB dating site.

If for example his friend commented it would have come up in his newsfeed and therefore he may have decided to also comment.

Yes of course the group owner can choose to make it public or private.

But if it’s private you can’t share comments accidentally or otherwise.

My stance is always if in doubt keep it out (your nose).

Getting involved in other people's business never ends well. And it is certainly not my place to be policing other adults behaviour.

We often like to see ourselves as arbiters of moral virtue, yet unless you know the exact consequences of your actions , I would say it may not be wise to act.

In the end , everything we think, and do, and say has a consequence that is often unforeseen.

Someone once said "ninety percent of all human wisdom is the ability to mind your own business."

I’m not signed up to any FB dating groups, tbh somebody else sent me the link (they might be on FB dating ) but it was showing on his personal profile until he deleted it.

Ahh sorry, yes I get you now 👍

Someone sent a screenshot, I then looked on his personal profile and it was showing, so I did see it but only after someone else had pointed it out.

I’m currently going for the ‘put it in a box, pretend I never saw it’ option.

Are you sure it wasnt a comment on a meme from a dating site?

Not that close to cousin, quite close to aunt, her mother.

Just ask ChatGPT how the FB dating sites work.