Do you need to make friends with reception parents .?

[overtinkerbell07]

My son has just started Reception, and I’m wondering how important it is for parents to get to know the other mums/dads.
I’m 26 and quite shy, so I sometimes feel a bit awkward around the other parents. We all wait outside the classroom and I usually just smile or say hello. Some parents don’t really respond, and sometimes I get the impression that people are looking at me or judging me, although I might just be overthinking it.
Does making friends with other parents actually make a difference to children’s friendships, settling into school or arranging playdates? Or is it completely fine to just be polite and let the children make their own friendships naturally?
Should I make more effort to get to know the other parents, or just leave things to happen naturally?

OP why have you just started another thread on this? Entitled ‘is just smiling and saying hello to reception parents enough?’

@DancingonmyOwn88I’m new to this, so I didn’t realise! Sorry 😅

I wish someone had told me back when mine were at this stage that the world is divided into introverts and extroverts.

You say ‘let things happen naturally’, but for an extrovert that means happily chatting away to whoever’s outside the classroom without a care in the world. For introverts that’s so much harder and it unfortunately just doesn’t come naturally.

It’s going to take you longer so just don’t put yourself under pressure. Like me, you’ll eventually find people you click with, probably guided by who your child gravitates towards. And remember, about half the parents feel exactly like you do, just some are better at hiding it than others.

@ComedyGunsthank you🥹

It's fairly important, yes. I had to force myself a bit, but it was worth it. Those are the parents who will be an invaluable support when you need details about school events, or need someone to pick up your dc when the car breaks down. You've got lots of school events to get through, and it's nicer with friends.

No one needs to make friends but it definitely helps, even if it’s just to feel less uncomfortable at pick up. Smiling and saying hello is fine especially in the early days, eventually people will get more comfortable around each other especially when birthday parties start. Again you don’t have to be a social butterfly but making an effort to smile and make yourself look approachable for someone more comfortable to come and chat to you makes things easier.

im a social person, I will talk to anyone, I’ve spent years gritting my teeth and playing nice to make my DCs school life happy for them. I’ve made some very nice mum friendships and also very happy to see the back of some mums come the end of year 6.

You will probably find over time there are parents just as shy as you that you will get to know.

I’m the same age as OP, and can’t picture myself being besties with the parents at the school gates. If you want to make friends specifically, there are better ways to

Also, it’s not about being unfriendly. You can have loads of mates at the gates and still only want to chat to your own group. You can stand alone and be really nice and interesting.

Children can still have friends and cousins inside and outside of school, neighbours, do clubs, have parties. To do play dates, you find out their first name and ask them if they want to have their child come over. Quick smile, hi and bye.

You’ll be connected to these people in one way or another for the next 7 years Being involved will help you navigate the myriad of expectations associated with school as well as being helpful when arranging play dates etc for your child. Please try to get to know them. Some of the most lasting friendships begin at the school
gate.

I think it’s easier to get to know parents when you go to kids’ parties. At the school gate everyone’s in a rush. But yes being friendly with people makes life a lot nicer, imo, and like you’re part of a community. Life is better when you’re open to connection. But that’s just my opinion.

Yes I would make an effort and try to start a conversation now and again. What I would advise against, however, is getting too involved. There is a group of mums who started up a “mums night out WhatsApp” for our class in reception which I politely declined after my sister said wait and see who your child plays with and don’t get overly involved with the mums. Fast forward 2 years and there was a serious bullying incident towards my child, which I think would have been so much harder to deal with had I been so involved with that group. The child is a big problem in the class but some of the mums are sort of locked into a friendship now with their mum and their kids are forced to meet up with this child outside of school too because the mums are friends. My child has made some
lovwky genuine friendships and I know their parents well enough to arrange a play date or party which feels like the right balance to me. So my advice is be friendly, but not overly involved until
you know whats what!

They had company at the childminders.And we lived in a gated close with lots of kids the same age(my childminder also lived there) so plenty of kids to play with Didn't do " playdates" wasn't such a thing then. When they got older they went to play at friends houses . They also attended beavers/rainbows cubs/ brownies at Primary and many more things in secondary school

And why on earth would I want " playground chats" Especially if it was rambling on about kid

I had my personal friends, work colleagues . Didn't really need " chats" with random kids parents

I rarely met any of the parents. I didn’t do school gates as we used breakfast and after school clubs. DT’s had no trouble making friends without any organising by me.

As they got older we saw more parents at sports events and practice. Chatted to them but we weren’t friends.

I doubt they’re judging you.

I wouldn’t say you need to make friends. But I’d say a passing knowledge of some names and numbers is good, as even if you aren’t friends it’s good to arrange play dates.