To keep my three nephews up all night?

[Upfiner]

I am having my three nephews over for a sleepover. They’re six, just turned two and five months. The eldest has slept over a few times but not the younger two.

Instead of wrestling them into bed I am planning to let them stay up as late as they like. I’ve always done this with the eldest and he loves it and usually falls asleep at about 10:30pm. I’ll obvious have the baby in his crib but I’ve got a huge corner sofa so I’m going to bring the duvets down and we can just have a slumber party downstairs.

I told my friend who has two sons and she thinks that this will impact their whole week and their schooling and routine and probably exam results and future careers.

I’m not going mad am I? This is fine for one fun evening?

All families are different. Some people can’t imagine a night away from their DCs until the DCs are much older. We had 5 very involved grandparents and a very involved aunty when our two were tiny and they started having the occasional sleepover with my PILs (who live near us) from about 18 mths old. And there were definitely different rules when they had them. That said - don’t know how it might impact their careers but they have both made it to uni…

You sound such a fab aunty, OP. Have a lovely time with your nephews!

@Upfiner you sound like a great aunt. I have routines and rules in place at home but they go out of the window when staying elsewhere. You sound fun and happy to let them lead you, I’d be totally fine with that. Enjoy your evening with them @Upfiner .

ruining their future careers 🤣🤦

For a few years our kids stayed up late to ring in the new year which was really the Dubai new year on TV. Then we'd have a celebratory drink and let them go for a midnight walk then bed. Good memories!

If she’s doing them a favour then the parents should keep quiet about rules. I’m sure they’ll be fine. Both be knocked out by 10pm. It’s really not the end of the world.

BTW here is a little tip for encouraging them to go to sleep somewhat earlier than they otherwise might, while still letting them have the impression they are staying up wonderfully late.

Start everything early. Feed them early. Draw the curtains and turn the lights down. If their usual bedtime is, say, 7:30, then by 6:30 have them changed into PJs with cuddly toys in hand. Start mumbling "are your parents definitely okay with you being up this late?", "Maybe you should go to bed? Are you sure you aren't sleepy?" Keep saying doubtfully, "I really shouldn't. Well... just a little longer then." Don't mention the actual time, in case the eldest realises it isn't all that late after all.

By 9pm they will feel like it's midnight. They will have had the delicious feeling of Being Up Late and auntie bending the rules for them, without the consequences of actually being up super late. This also works for children who have friends to sleep over.

I have done this with my grandchildren. Only Fridays and Saturdays. Parents don't mind.
Why wrestle and nag?If there isnt a problem getting them off to sleep,then you wouldnt do this. Baby will drop ofc to sleep anyhow and 2 year old will snuggle up to big brother.
My grandchildren did not wake up crabky. They slept longer. Everyone hapy

If the parents don’t mind go for it! Although I did similar, not for lack of trying to get to bed from 10pm onwards - they were probably 3, 5 and 8, and it all went downhill. About midnight the 3 yo stood on a glass topped coffee table and smashed it, bed was enforced very soon after that!!

Could it be that your post is the vivid imagination of a bored and lonely poster?

This is a great way to produce children who are rigid in their routines, inflexible in a sudden situation, and cope badly when their normal is upset. Why would you encourage this? It’s lovely for kids to go and have an adventure at someone else’s house.

@99bottlesofkombucha sounds great to me, it might bugger up the next day a bit but the pros outweigh the cons, certainly for the parents. Enjoy!

The children will probably bounce back within 24 hours or less. I hope your friend wasn't serious about those insanely dire predictions.

It's one night, what harm can it really do to the two eldest children? And if the youngest won't settle at their normal bedtime and it means you can all have a nice time together then one night out of routine isn't going to do that much harm. My DD would have been up with the larks regardless of her bedtime so at those ages I'd have asked for you to try and get her to sleep earlier to take that into consideration but if your nephews will sleep in then it doesn't sound like they'll be too affected.

Enjoy them when they're little and want to watch Disney movies and snuggle, your sibling is clearly on board with your plan so why not.

Well, it started in 1979 for my mum and dad when my sister was born, carried on in 1983 when I was born and continued, happily, all through our childhoods. God it was lovely snuggling up to our grandparents at their house on a Saturday night, watching lovely films and eating my nannas lovely buns that she made for us. We were often joined by our cousin! She’s even older than us. So, no it’s not a ‘modern thing’ at all, it’s a normal thing in families where parents don’t shun the outside world, take care of their marriages and individual interests and don’t reduce themselves to just ‘mummy & daddy’! Strange you think it’s a modern as the vast majority of my friends experienced the same lovely childhood that we did.