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AIBU?

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AIBU for saying my DH needs to man tf up

236 replies

ambitiousqueen · Today 09:31

DH has just gotten a very good job promotion, and I am very proud of him. Obviously. Lovely salary, lovely title, everyone congratulating him etc. BUT. He is destined for an even greater promotion (CEO level). Don't ask how I know this.
The problem is DH keeps saying he doesn't want to "get involved in office politics" and that “nature will take its course” I've tried encouraging him. I've said, hypothetically, if there was a person standing between my DH and the CEO position, then perhaps one might consider... removing the obstacle. metaphorically I mean
Also, I may have suggested that DH invite the current CEO round for a nice little dinner.Purely hospitality, obviously. DH said he was worried about the consequences, particularly the whole "divine judgement, eternal damnation" side of things. Blah blah blah
Honestly, he's overthinking it.
I am NOT saying DH should kill anyone. Obviously not... at least not with his eyes open. I'm only saying that hypothetically, if one wanted to rise to the very top, one might need to show a little more ambition
AIBU to think DH needs to man up and seize his opportunity?
FWIW, I’ve already laid out the plan, and the metaphorical dagger is just waiting to be used.

OP posts:
Megifer · Today 11:23

Have you tried getting a hobby?

Damnloginpopup · Today 11:24

PlayingDevilsAdvocateisinteresting · Today 11:19

Well, he could of course follow your demands advice @ambitiousqueen, and it might even work, he might become the person you want him to be, but at what cost?

Of course, I am not talking about any financial costs here, I am referring to the very clear fear that in doing your bidding, he could be going against his own desires, and maybe even the moral code that he holds himself to. If you wish to challenge, and even override, his own ethical principles, you are risking him feeling truly emasculated, and resentful!

So, if you manage to convince him to push for the status that you want for him - for you, you could actually end up losing some, or even all, of the aspects of his personality that you presumably, and at least partially, fell in love with him for in the first place?

Humiliating anyone is a horrible thing to do, but to potentially and purposely do so to your own partner is very unpleasant, and risks him feeling so inadequate, that it could quickly erode his own self-confidence, and any respect and - possibly, even - any love that he has for you. As other PPs have suggested OP, if status, and having lots of money, is your main desire, wouldn't it be much better to achieve them by yourself, and for yourself?

So well thy words become thee as thy wounds, they smack of honor both.

MagicMagpie · Today 11:24

Will nobody think of Lady Macduff’s children?

Busybookworm · Today 11:25

Are you doing this all from memory @Damnloginpopup? V impressed if so Grin

PepsiBook · Today 11:25

I hope you didn't really say this to him?

Damnloginpopup · Today 11:26

Busybookworm · Today 11:25

Are you doing this all from memory @Damnloginpopup? V impressed if so Grin

Am I fuck 🤣 I ran out of RAM on page 1! But I'm going to have to re-read it, fucking loving this 😁 I really do need to get out of bed.
Confusion now hath made his masterpiece.

MagicMagpie · Today 11:28

PepsiBook · Today 11:25

I hope you didn't really say this to him?

I sure she did, and in blank verse too.

Error404FucksNotFound · Today 11:29

Give over.

Mouldemort · Today 11:33

I don’t think this will end well. Now do Oedipus!

bettyrubble99 · Today 11:33

You sound a right loon. Leave the bloke alone.

Damnloginpopup · Today 11:34

bettyrubble99 · Today 11:33

You sound a right loon. Leave the bloke alone.

First
Post
Nails
It
...
Second for those for whom it doesn't.

Shesafancyflapjack · Today 11:36

Unless you are Hyacinth Bucket or Margot Ledbetter this is batshit.

Purplecatshopaholic · Today 11:37

Lol, I really hope you’re joking. I suggest you Woman Up and focus on your own job and promotion prospects.

Redpaisley · Today 11:38

ambitiousqueen · Today 09:31

DH has just gotten a very good job promotion, and I am very proud of him. Obviously. Lovely salary, lovely title, everyone congratulating him etc. BUT. He is destined for an even greater promotion (CEO level). Don't ask how I know this.
The problem is DH keeps saying he doesn't want to "get involved in office politics" and that “nature will take its course” I've tried encouraging him. I've said, hypothetically, if there was a person standing between my DH and the CEO position, then perhaps one might consider... removing the obstacle. metaphorically I mean
Also, I may have suggested that DH invite the current CEO round for a nice little dinner.Purely hospitality, obviously. DH said he was worried about the consequences, particularly the whole "divine judgement, eternal damnation" side of things. Blah blah blah
Honestly, he's overthinking it.
I am NOT saying DH should kill anyone. Obviously not... at least not with his eyes open. I'm only saying that hypothetically, if one wanted to rise to the very top, one might need to show a little more ambition
AIBU to think DH needs to man up and seize his opportunity?
FWIW, I’ve already laid out the plan, and the metaphorical dagger is just waiting to be used.

Which company are you CEO of?

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · Today 11:39

Shesafancyflapjack · Today 11:36

Unless you are Hyacinth Bucket or Margot Ledbetter this is batshit.

I think you’ll find the OP is rather older than either of them. She would be more of their role model and decidedly more grand.

DannyDeever · Today 11:40

MagicMagpie · Today 11:28

I sure she did, and in blank verse too.

It feels like a situation where someone might start up with blank verse with some iambic pentameter mixed in. But then decline into prose late.

I wonder if that's significant? 🤔

AnotherOneIsntFussed · Today 11:43

DannyDeever · Today 10:55

Your language is sexist and misogynistic

Agree. It's like something from the middle ages.

Whoa, whoa, steady on, I wouldn't go that far.

Early Modern period, maybe.

Givemeabreakdagdammit · Today 11:43

MellowSubmarine · Today 09:32

Calm down Lady Macbeth, he’s only just got this promotion.

🤣 this is exactly what I was thinking!!!!

AnotherOneIsntFussed · Today 11:44

Megifer · Today 11:23

Have you tried getting a hobby?

I like this one!

MamainWonderland · Today 11:46

Tell me that your teen is studying GCSE English Lit without telling me that your teen is studying GCSE English Lit....now, go and wash your hands.

beencaughttrollin · Today 11:47

Do you work in the same business as he does, but at a higher level/in a position where you have a clearer view of the situation than he does and/or comprehensive inside information? If not, butt out and let him do his job and manage his career (and of course, he should do the same for you).

FCCRULES · Today 11:49

I would personally make sure I had plenty of hand soap before doing anything.

FCCRULES · Today 11:49

purplecorkheart · Today 11:05

Christ, you need to stop watching 1980 American Dramas and get a life instead. Maybe focus on your own career and not your dhs.

You’re about 300 years out…

Damnloginpopup · Today 11:50

beencaughttrollin · Today 11:47

Do you work in the same business as he does, but at a higher level/in a position where you have a clearer view of the situation than he does and/or comprehensive inside information? If not, butt out and let him do his job and manage his career (and of course, he should do the same for you).

Yeah, but a man's life is like a story, told badly by a fool, whose shouts and strong words make it seem important. But it means nothing. At least OP is supportive of his unrealised ambition.

DannyDeever · Today 11:54

AnotherOneIsntFussed · Today 11:43

Whoa, whoa, steady on, I wouldn't go that far.

Early Modern period, maybe.

No, I think the OP is posting from the Early Middle Ages. I think someone in the early modern period might have produced a true crime documentary about it, though.

But we're talking about the "Language" so perhaps you're right after all.