Birthday party tomorrow but daughter is ill and may miss it

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More of a what would you do in this situation , but basically I’m screwed and feeling sorry for myself.

It’s my daughter birthday tomorrow. I’ve spent a small fortune on her party, we’ve agreed it’s her last full class party. She’s been sent home from school today poorly. She’s not sick, but has slept all afternoon, has a bad headache and keeps going from hot to cold. being realistic, she’s not going to feel well enough to attend the party tomorrow. It’s a drop your child and leave party, I’ve got 20+ kids coming and it’s a morning party. So now I’ve got to arrange for my mum to look after my child, so I can look after all her friends at a party that’s cost me a fortune. Even worse? I’ve skimped on the goodie bags and planned to bulk them up with birthday cake. Which means I either give them half empty goodie bags and keep the 24 person birthday cake. Or take the birthday cake with us and make them all sing happy birthday to my child who won’t be there.

being realistic, there’s nothing I can do about it. But I’m so upset that I’ve made so much effort and she won’t even enjoy it. She will be poorly at home without me.

You really don’t need to hold the party if she’s ill - cancel it!

I’d wake her up shortly and give another dose of Calpol then give her some more first thing and let her sleep as long as possible. See how many doses you can get in before the party (I mean with the right amount and hours between doses!).

I’m sure she’ll perk up enough to go to the party and might forget about it while she’s there if she’s caught up in the excitement.

How old is she?

I think most parents will be expecting you to cancel as their kids probably mentioned she went home poorly. I would at least give parents the heads up she won’t be there if you go ahead without. My youngest isn’t keen on parties but will go to a close friend’s one to be a good friend but he wouldn’t bother if the birthday friend isn’t there (he’s not so keen on enforced fun)

She may perk up in the morning
fingers crossed
Not sure what to advise but if you do go without her and take the cake
i am not sure if this would be kind or cruel but you could do a video of them all singing H/Birthday

You'd gain not essentially just babysitting a class full of hyped up kids!

How far is it from your house, perhaps she could attend for a while, for the children to sing happy birthday, cake etc. and then go home?

If you do go ahead, line them up to sing Happy Birthday and video it. At the start of the party ask everyone to come to you for 2 minutes during the party and record a little message/tell a joke etc That way,v you will bring home a heap of presents and a nice video with messages from her friends, for her to open and watch.

What a shame that the venue wouldn’t let you reschedule. Have you asked to move the date?
Fingers crossed your daughter is well enough. I’ve never heard of a party going ahead without the birthday child! I suppose the only plus side of going ahead is all the presents she could look forward to opening when feeling better.

What bad luck OP, really hope your daughter feels better after a good sleep and can go at least to some of her party. Agree with keeping your DM on hand to take her home if she starts flagging.
If she’s really too poorly to go and everything is non-refundable, in your shoes I’d probably go ahead with the party, but WhatsApp the parents this morning to let them know. Ask them to stay to supervise their kids if they can because you will be popping in and out of the party if your DD needs you. Great ideas above about asking the party kids to record a message for DD. Give them cake but don’t bother with singing, and of course make sure you take a big piece home for DD!

You’d gain your morning back!!

no way would I host a party my child was too ill to attend

you haven’t lost the money… it’s already gone… don’t matyr yourself further.

Thats certainly an option to ask another parent if they could effectively run the party, even if it becomes a great big playdate rather than a party.

I'd hate to disappoint a bundle of kids.

Op hopefully your DD is a bit better today

How’s she feeling this morning ?

That just means they want payment, you dont have to actually go to the party yourself.

Kids get over things quickly so you never know she might be ok otherwise I’d cancel it, you’re not getting the money back whatever you do. I wouldn’t want to spend my time supervising everyone else’s child when mines not there.

I'd probably cancel if she isn't well enough, but if you don't want to waste the money, I'd tell the other parents the activity is there for them but you will be looking after your child, so they will have to stay if their child still wants to go. I wouldn't be leaving my ill child to look after others people's! And party bags aren't important - unless she's having another cake too, I don't feel like you should be cutting her cake before she has seen it / been well enough to blow out some candles, even if that is only with family.

I would cancel, I wouldn’t be supervising 20 kids for no reason. The money is gone either way and I would feel bad for my DD knowing she was at home while her mum and friends were at her party. The kids will probably talk about how fun it was at school and I know it’s just a party but it feels a bit cruel

Assuming she’s not got D&V I would probably dose her up on calpol and take her. Even if she’s not quite up to playing she can enjoy seeing her friends and have them sing happy birthday.
They will all be spreading germs around each-other at school anyway.

Hope DD is feeling much better and is getting her party outfit on!!

I'd be asking other parents to supervise.

Also agree dd may be ok if she's had enough calpol?

Good point

This

Hope your dd is feeling better.
It depends on the type of party and age of kids.
I wouldnt be babysitting but would mesagae the parents to say dd is poorly cant cancel the party but feel free to use the venue (if soft play etc) but parents need to stay to supervise their own children
Then pop in with party bags with pre cut birthday cake

Dose her up, she’ll rally. Then flop afterwards. Adrenaline will get her through!

I was in this situation once and I cancelled the party and put it back by one week.

I’d definitely cancel. The party shouldn’t go ahead without the birthday girl. Maybe if you ask very nicely the venue will move it, worth an ask.