Birthday party tomorrow but daughter is ill and may miss it

[ShitMumsClubMember]

More of a what would you do in this situation , but basically I’m screwed and feeling sorry for myself.

It’s my daughter birthday tomorrow. I’ve spent a small fortune on her party, we’ve agreed it’s her last full class party. She’s been sent home from school today poorly. She’s not sick, but has slept all afternoon, has a bad headache and keeps going from hot to cold. being realistic, she’s not going to feel well enough to attend the party tomorrow. It’s a drop your child and leave party, I’ve got 20+ kids coming and it’s a morning party. So now I’ve got to arrange for my mum to look after my child, so I can look after all her friends at a party that’s cost me a fortune. Even worse? I’ve skimped on the goodie bags and planned to bulk them up with birthday cake. Which means I either give them half empty goodie bags and keep the 24 person birthday cake. Or take the birthday cake with us and make them all sing happy birthday to my child who won’t be there.

being realistic, there’s nothing I can do about it. But I’m so upset that I’ve made so much effort and she won’t even enjoy it. She will be poorly at home without me.

Where is this party.

She might be alright to attend and recover the rest of the weekend.

If she definitely can’t attend, cancel it

Ah that’s awful, could she pop in for the cake only. What a nightmare. Any chance of moving it

Cancel it?

Honestly if she’s not got a gastro bug I would still take her. Just give the parents a heads up in case they want to stay at home.

You can give put the cake without any singing!

It’s a shame but it happens. My DD went to two birthday parties last school year where the birthday child wasn’t there due to illness.

But after a night’s sleep she really might be feeling much better, especially as it’s not a vomiting bug so if she does perk up, she should be ok.

See how she is with some calpol in the morning? Sometimes they bounce back quickly. Otherwise I would cancel it and rearrange something small for a few of her close friends.

90% of the time my kids seem to wake up the following morning fully cured. You might be surprised what a sleep and some calpol can do.

I wouldn't write it off just yet.

I was feeling very ill the day before my best friend's wedding, and I was one of her three bridesmaids so I knew I'd have to get through it somehow. I went to bed feeling like death and surprisingly the next day I was well enough to power through just feeling a bit tired. You'd never have known.

Depends what it is but if it's only a mild fever I'd hit it with Calpol for the sake of a couple of hours and then take her home to sleep.

See how she is in the morning. Earlier this week, I had the weirdest 24 hour bug. Horrendous stomach cramps, nauseous without actually being sick, a headache, extreme fatigue and fever symptoms, hot and cold. I had paracetamol, slept 13 hours straight, and woke feeling much better the next morning. Still a bit crampy in the stomach but by lunch time, I was fine and able to eat. It hit me at lunch time the day before.

She might be okay dosed up with calpol in the morning.

Thanks everyone. I hope she feels better in the morning but the bug has been going around the school and it’s looking like a 48+ hour thing. I have told her she can have calpol and sit in the corner but I’m not sure she’ll even manage that. She’s slept all afternoon.
I can’t cancel or move the party, the cancellation policy this late is loss of full price so I wouldn’t gain anything.

I'd dose with calpol and go, but maybe have your dm on hand to take her home early if she needs to.

Failing that, I'd cancel the party.

You’d gain a morning not supervising random children!

It would never occur to me not to cancel. No one would expect you to run a party for a non existent birthday child. Message round and ask if anyone wants to take ownership if you really can’t cancel any part of it? I wouldn’t be attending without my own kid though. Full stop.

I'd go ahead with the party even if it means doing Happy Birthday via Facetime or WhatsApp.

Cancelling you get nothing back and you have 20 disappointed kids.
Go ahead and the other kids will at least have fun.
And the Mums will remember you for the right reasons.

I'd get a small shop cake for home or keep a bit of the big cake, again what else are you going to do with it?
Give it away or bin it?

I'd tell DD you'll do something nice when she's better.

You would gain not looking after 20 kids that are not yours. I’d definitely cancel and send the goodie bags with cake into school on Monday.

I’m finding it odd that the party would go ahead without the birthday girl tbh.

Im assuming its a soft play or something so he friends will have fun without her, and some might not do softplay very often

It wouldn't cross my mind to hold the party if the child wasn't well. That's the whole point! Just cancel.

But you would gain not having to supervise other people's children at a party your child isnt at.

That is a gain.

Cancel it

I would absolutely cancel. It would feel so much worse for her knowing all her friends are having fun without her. And you’d want to be with her too.

however, see how she is. Hopefully she perks up.

Still thinking about the horror of running a party without the bonus of my actual child having a wonderful time. I thought I was a nice person actually but this would never occur to me to do. I think you are lovely OP! But also think you should send a WhatsApp now to the guests and say ‘unfortunately Sarah is a bit under the weather today. Hoping tomorrow is better! Either way though - Super happy for the activity to go ahead tomorrow if enough of you can stay to supervise? I’d need to be home with her but she’d love to know her friends are having fun’ or whatever.

I would cancel even if the money was lost. It seems pointless and quite cruel to go ahead without your DD.

Agree with others, see how she is in the morning and cancel it. Or say to the other parents they could still go even though you won’t be there? Depends what type of party it is.

If your dd isn’t well enough to go, message the other parents to see if they, or some of them, can stay and look after the kids. Or just say it’s no longer a drop and go but they’re welcome to take the kids along.

You couldn’t possibly be expected to go and supervise all these other kids yourself. Your dd will surely want her Mum at home. And don’t take her birthday cake, that’s just silly.

Dose her up, good nights sleep and take her. Children bounce