To be shocked at ‘school readiness’

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2 weeks into this school year with a new class of reception children who 90% are utterly unequipped to be in a classroom. This is a list of things that come to mind the children are unable to do.

-put on their coats. I don’t mean when they struggle to get their arms in or don’t know how to turn a sleeve from inside out. I mean completely unaware of how to even attempt to put on their own coat.
-Recognise their own name.
-They walk away while you are actively talking to them

-Nor a single child has used manners, pleas or thank yous, without being prompted to do so during the whole 2 weeks.
-take their coats to their pegs. Children are taking off their coats at the door, dropping them to the floor and walking away.
-close a toilet cubicle door or pull their pants up before they walk back into class (our toilets are directly off the classroom)

This is not even mentioning the running away or out the classroom when asked to do something they don’t want to do like sit on the carpet, children outright saying no or screaming at staff.

These are not SEN children who are developmentally delayed. Covid babies are no longer an excuse. I’m absolutely baffled how parents have neglected to teach their children basic skills and expectations of behaviour, I have never had a year group like this.

AIBU to be shocked at the lack of school readiness

It's not normal. And they're 4, not 3. A normal 4 year old will have been out of nappies for well over a year, will get dressed by themselves, will enjoy colouring in and will probably be able to read a few words, if not more. They'll certainly be able to listen and to follow basic instructions.

My youngest child is 25. He started school this young. I am 59 and I think I started school this young. The starting age of school in the UK hasn't changed in forever, yet we are hearing again and again from people in education that children's readiness for school gets worse and worse each year. There has been a cultural shift in the way we parent that means our children are not ready. We are having our children older and older. We are more likely to be at work all day with our childcare outsourced. We are more likely to be glued to our phones and have allowed our toddlers to become glued to their ipads. Children never learn how to be bored or make their own entertainment these days. They are completely passive. They just watch. Not enough interaction. Not enough conversation.

Ask any teacher who has been in the job for a long time if they've seen a dramatic shift over the last 5-10 years in terms of independence and school readiness; being reliably out of nappies, able to take themselves to the toilet, able to grip and use a pencil, able to put their own coat and shoes on, get changed for PE without help, to manage cutlery and know how to sit at the table to eat etc. Their behaviour, their levels of anxiety over coming into school, their language and communication skills, how they manage anger or frustration, their concentration span, their ability to sit still, listen and pay attention to anything that isn't screen based. Their ability to wait, take turns and share. How they react/cope when told no. An unwillingness to try different foods and food textures.

Ask teachers if they've seen a rise in the of number of children who are not just diagnosed as ND or SEN but the ratio of children who display the signs of being ND, ASD and ADHD, or at least the traits that are often attributed to ASD and ADHD, whether they are actually that, or not. Globally delayed, behaviourally challenged, language delayed etc, poor eye contact etc, poor listening skills etc, even if not yet diagnosed. You can of course explain greater numbers of diagnoses by citing better awareness of autism and ADHD. But that only explains an increase in diagnoses. It doesn't explain an increase in the behaviours leading to the diagnoses.

Then you better volunteer in a reception class and see for yourself.
What the OP is describing is just the tip of the iceberg!

Without being accused of being racist, I find the children that are from a particular culture are the ones not well prepared to start school unless they have attended a nursery

I think it’s awful that mothers (and fathers) are the default scapegoats for anything perceived to be going wrong with “children today.”

And here lies the problem...

Of course its the parent's responsibility!

My 3 were mostly in full-time childcare (in between maternity leave). We both worked full-time but still made sure we potty trained our children, taught them to eat/dress/follow instructions/basic manners. Childcare should reinforce it, but ultimately it's a parent's job.

Caveat: I may well have dressed them if we were in a rush but weekends they definitely dressed themselves. 2 days a week is still enough to instill most skills.

This. Schools are holding pens so that the parents can rejoin the work force.

Edited to add: in the UK

This is obviously untrue.

Eh?

Which culture?

I have been teaching for 25 years. Over the last 5-10 years we’ve seen a definite increase in certain issues in our early years reception class.

• poor speech and communication ability
• ability to carry out basic self care tasks like dressing and feeding
• ability to self regulate and a rise in school anxiety
• ability or willingness to listen and complete basic instructions or tasks such as tidying away

out of last years cohort 12 out of 15 would simply ignore anything you’d asked unless you’d asked 5 times or gone and got them and ‘made’ them do it. Anecdotally, many of our local schools have been saying them same thing.

You are either teaching a class where 90% of the pupils have quite severe autism or other development delay or you are exaggerating for dramatic effect, which is a polite way of saying lying. A typical baby responds to their own name and you really expect us to believe you are teaching a mainstream reception class where 90% of 4 year olds don't respond to their name. I could perhaps believe it at a stretch if you just said not toilet trained but not responding to their own name? You are either teaching a majority SEN class or lying.

Do you think schools expect children to be able to read their own name on arrival? Of course some can but it’s not an expectation.

Parents thinking this is normal is exactly the cause of this problem. These children are 4 (rising 5) this is not normal.

White, English?

Thanks @MyEasterBonnetI hadn't thought about how he will manage dinner money at all! Getting changed quickly will be fine (he does a lot of sport), and we will start working on getting him to know when he needs to start getting ready in order to get the bus on time...especially as some days he will need to leave the house earlier than the rest of us.

Of course! It's a collection of different attributes that tend to be a better signifier, not just then, and even then, it's important to keep an open mind.

Also white Scottish.

Yes. That has been the expectation for decades!

Finland has a higher proportion of working parents than England

Me neither. It seems every generation is terrible because of <insert something technological> and parents are <insert sloppy stereotype>. They said it about us 50 years ago too.

I believe it too. My brother had to get out of teaching. It was making him ill. The kids were absolutely feral and so were the parents. His replacement was gone within a year too.

Hasn’t been what I witnessed decades ago with my own kids, or what I see now with friends’ or family members’ little ones. Great if they can, not a problem if they can’t was what I’d taken from what I’ve seen.

Adult literacy in England isn’t that impressive so to expect children to be able to read a little - rather than expect to teach them - seems a little optimistic.

Kids are not expected to be able to actually read. But recognising your own written name on a peg has been an expectation. I grew up in a very deprived area and I remember my best friends young sister was very anxious about starting school when she found her friends could all write their name and she couldn't. My friend taught her sister how to do that before starting school.

Finland, where children start formal education at 7, yes?