To be shocked at ‘school readiness’

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2 weeks into this school year with a new class of reception children who 90% are utterly unequipped to be in a classroom. This is a list of things that come to mind the children are unable to do.

-put on their coats. I don’t mean when they struggle to get their arms in or don’t know how to turn a sleeve from inside out. I mean completely unaware of how to even attempt to put on their own coat.
-Recognise their own name.
-They walk away while you are actively talking to them

-Nor a single child has used manners, pleas or thank yous, without being prompted to do so during the whole 2 weeks.
-take their coats to their pegs. Children are taking off their coats at the door, dropping them to the floor and walking away.
-close a toilet cubicle door or pull their pants up before they walk back into class (our toilets are directly off the classroom)

This is not even mentioning the running away or out the classroom when asked to do something they don’t want to do like sit on the carpet, children outright saying no or screaming at staff.

These are not SEN children who are developmentally delayed. Covid babies are no longer an excuse. I’m absolutely baffled how parents have neglected to teach their children basic skills and expectations of behaviour, I have never had a year group like this.

AIBU to be shocked at the lack of school readiness

People used to go to evening classes to learn enough french to use on holiday, or to learn how to bake. There were even parenting courses

That may be in more recent times. There were no French holidays on the horizon in the 50s and 60s mining towns, and mothers had neither the time nor the childcare to go to learn to bake. If they even had an oven which we didn't until mother got a baby belling countertop.

I'm talking about night school that earned you a qualification to do a job.

Agree one million percent. Don't get me started on secondary school pupils.....

This is a worry. I do think that when both parents are working full time as we did, something has to give and it’s a great shame if it is these basic developmental things and manners. I remember how hard it was to even fit in toilet training around work. It’s not ideal unfortunately.

I also noticed that my daughter’s table manners were far worse than those of two girls we knew with stay at home mums (which we have been trying to rectify since age 5!!!) and we were still tying our 12 year old’s shoe laces on occasion (more because she had her first pair of lace ups aged 11.)

I hope it doesn’t make your job too awful this year, OP. It’s just such a massive shame we have so little time with our children these days. I look back and wish so much I’d been able to have more.

Dues it simply not occur to them , do you think or are they aware of manners as a concept but can't be bothered?

@FurthestEdge those courses still exist. But are either full time or part time. Generally people have to study far longer to get a qualification than in the past.

Lots of working class kids left school at 12 or similar during the war

Yes that's true. Even in later years kids left early to get a job and money because their family needed it. Vast majority could read and write by then.

My 4 year old walked 20minutes every day to kindergarten with a friend but without adult supervision. ( Switzerland)

Also the case in Germany and Australia, although kindergarten is also very established there.

Former socialist countries weren’t renowned for quality of life in any other respect!

This is ridiculous. I am very pro European education style in many ways.
But firstly, their state-run preschools are much like reception and start from the ages of 2/3.

Then, at 3 many children are just bursting to learn. I must say that I'm not great at working on specific skills with my dc. My elsest has learnt more of their writing and reading skills at preschool than with me.
I tend to do a lot.of reading with them without turning it into structured learning.

I prefer to visit parks, museums and farms with them than practice penmanship.

But the eldest, due to start school next September, has been toilet trained for.more than a year including nights, can write their name, do all.of the things described by the OP and colour within the lines. All very normal things for a nearly 4 year old - to steal another mumsnetter's expression "bright enough without setting the world on fire".
This seems completely in line with what their friends are doing. I am sceptical about the overall picture being quite as bleak as the OP describes.

We live in a very working class area and we fit into that description. That said I went to an activity group yesterday in an area that was more economically deprived and I was surprised that other 4 year olds couldn't colour within the lines at all or write their initials and struggled with concentration.

I'm not sure what I have done to make my 3 year old more school ready as I feel quite a rubbish mum most of the time. But they sure never let me put their coat on for them!

She already explained stop derailing 🙄

Support for parents and young children has been drastically cut over the years.

Health visitors used to offer a pre school appointment where school readiness was the main focus. This is no longer commissioned.

school nurses used to have regular drop in support sessions. Some areas don’t even have school nurses any more.

Community groups like sure start have shut down.

Less support mental health support. Including postnatal depression.

Parenting groups / classes only available if you can pay in many areas.

Yes parents are responsible for getting children ready for school. But parents used to be supported and they no longer are, at least not to the same extent.

Both parents working full time does not mean you can't teach manners. My child is 18 months and says please and thank you ffs.

I simply responded to a comment. Hours ago. 🙄

and I'm derailing?

Many no-UPF / organic households.

🤣

Fab, then you're done. Not everything is about SEN.

YANBU. Lazy parenting. My SIL is a SAHM, so she has all the time in the world. My nieces and nephew can’t eat food without an iPad in front of their faces. Really odd. It’s like she doesn’t know how to engage them or keep them entertained without Netflix.

I'll be done when I like, thank you.

This is not correct. Children now start school the September after their 4th birthday. When I started school in the 1970s it was the September after your 5th birthday, although I believe you could go a term earlier and do “rising 5s” if your parents wanted.

When you did not do as required you were made to either stand in the corner or sit under the teacher’s desk! If you were very naughty you were smacked with Mrs Hobby’s slipper!

Every single thing you have described we teach every day in nursery. They are trying to see what they can get away with with a new teacher.

Totally fair enough. I would never have dreamed of asking my parents for regular childcare. Emergency, yes. xx

Experienced teachers know this. Teacher after teacher is telling you there is a paradigm shift, some say it hasn’t changed but others are seriously concerned. You can’t seriously believe the teachers are just being fooled by these little tricksters?

I believe it - I don't think it has anything do with having working parents. I had working parents and most of cohort were able to by the age of three - I am in my 40's. I think it's more a case of people not knowing how to parent and babying children.

This is normal.

They go to school to be taught. You cannot lay it at the parents door, they are still very, very young. What did you expect from a 3 year old?

In addition to screens, babying children is definitely a thing.
We do a lot of playgroups and hobbies, and I can't believe the parents who are of the "don't worry about little darling, you don't have to if you don't want to" school of parenting. Unsurprisingly their toddlers sit with quivering lips on the side rather than take part.

Eta: using a knife and fork is maybe a tall.order? Mine have used forks since tiny but a knife and fork together not yet. Maybe something to work on.

I agree. I have 3 DCs - 2 NT and one with autism. My eldest (with autism) could do all those things, and was the easiest of my 3 to toilet train. He couldn’t stand being in a wet nappy, or feeling dirty or sticky so he took to the toilet like a duck to water. He started school two weeks after he turned 4 and he had been potty trained for a good two years by then.