To be shocked at ‘school readiness’

[Copyandpastry]

2 weeks into this school year with a new class of reception children who 90% are utterly unequipped to be in a classroom. This is a list of things that come to mind the children are unable to do.

-put on their coats. I don’t mean when they struggle to get their arms in or don’t know how to turn a sleeve from inside out. I mean completely unaware of how to even attempt to put on their own coat.
-Recognise their own name.
-They walk away while you are actively talking to them

-Nor a single child has used manners, pleas or thank yous, without being prompted to do so during the whole 2 weeks.
-take their coats to their pegs. Children are taking off their coats at the door, dropping them to the floor and walking away.
-close a toilet cubicle door or pull their pants up before they walk back into class (our toilets are directly off the classroom)

This is not even mentioning the running away or out the classroom when asked to do something they don’t want to do like sit on the carpet, children outright saying no or screaming at staff.

These are not SEN children who are developmentally delayed. Covid babies are no longer an excuse. I’m absolutely baffled how parents have neglected to teach their children basic skills and expectations of behaviour, I have never had a year group like this.

AIBU to be shocked at the lack of school readiness

This trend has been creeping up for a long time, as has the percentage of very young children in care for longer and longer hours.

https://explore-education-statistics.service.gov.uk/find-statistics/childcare-and-early-years-survey-of-parents/2025

My grandmother (born about 1920) on my dad's side probably counted as literate. She'd left school at 12yo, and she could write.
Her cards to us would be something like.
"to MAr.
HApP bIrty
LoVe grAn & dog wf xx"

In contrast my uncle left school at 16 (born in around 1950), having got no qualifications and could read and write considerably better.

But on the subject of women and what they had to do. I remember for dm sitting down and doing something for herself was something that she had to carve out time. She used to try and sit down for half an hour in the morning with a coffee and a crossword, otherwise she didn't stop all day - and df did quite a bit round the house for a man in those days.
She'd have done a wash every day, including hanging it out (and in and out, in and out if raining), ironing, baking, cooking dinners from scratch, going up to the shops most days, sweeping the floor, washing windows, mending clothes, making clothes etc etc
She got a washing machine after I was born, the hoover didn't have wheels and was huge so took a lot more work, no freezer etc. When we got home from school she would be busy the entire time until we went to bed with stuff round the house.
Jobs just took much longer and more elbow grease in those days. I look at what she did and I marvel how she did it - and yes she worked part time too.

Childminders are much better for under threes, but they have fallen out of fashion. Nurseries are better after three when they interact more with other kids.

No, everything is the fault of the parents of young children. Look at the state of the comments on this thread.

What area are you in?

My oldest started school last year. Affluent area. There's one child with noticeable SEN who has a FT 1:1. Other children all polite, engaging, toilet trained, able to take coats on and off.

The picture you're painting is horrifying.

My DCs were at nursery 20 years ago and we did not rely on them for all the things that need to be taught at home. We potty trained between 2-3, a monitored manners and encouraged conversation, learned to get dressed use a knife and fork and know their name spoken and written. They could also repeat their address and phone number if they got lost

Bootcamp? There is nothing harsh or unreasonable about expecting the average 4-year-old to be able do the things the OP mentions. It explains a lot if some parents look at this and think their precious little one couldn't possibly be expected to do any of these things.

^This is a list of things that come to mind the children are unable to do.
-put on their coats. I don’t mean when they struggle to get their arms in or don’t know how to turn a sleeve from inside out. I mean completely unaware of how to even attempt to put on their own coat.
-Recognise their own name [written down, OP has clarified this is what she meant in a later post].
-They walk away while you are actively talking to them

-Nor a single child has used manners, pleas or thank yous, without being prompted to do so during the whole 2 weeks.
-take their coats to their pegs. Children are taking off their coats at the door, dropping them to the floor and walking away.
-close a toilet cubicle door or pull their pants up before they walk back into class (our toilets are directly off the classroom)
This is not even mentioning the running away or out the classroom when asked to do something they don’t want to do like sit on the carpet, children outright saying no or screaming at staff.^

Yes, I think people are looking back at the past through rose-tinted glasses. Parents used to have to make far more trips to the shop than they do now.

Something very scary is going on with parenting lately. I went for a long walk where I live and there are at least ten play parks in the area. In the middle of the day I did not see one mum with a 0-4 in age child using the facilities.

Are all mums at work? Are all toddlers in nursery?

When my son was that age a decade ago we were always at the parks. I never remember them being empty.

10 years ago was 2016. Most families were 2 income families. I was teaching Y1 then and had 2 of my 3 children. Family make-up has no discernable difference to now but behaviour standards, school readiness and parental interaction is vastly different!

I was definitely in nursery in the early 90s. My siblings went to pre-school in the 80s. There were waiting lists they were in such high demand.

Even if this is the case, if they are needing to use tech this often whilst looking after the children it is problematic. It’s much better for the providers to be interacting with the children and providing fewer updates to their parents on which rung of the climbing frame they’re reached day by day. The problem is childcare is for profit and parents feel less guilty about leaving their children for long hours if they are getting frequent updates.

Fascinated by the literacy stats ive had a quick Google and it seems that due to the Forster Act of 1850, male literacy rates were in the high 90s by 1926 and have actually fallen since.

And that was fucking shit wasn't it? Let's not go back there.

Well, we have been managing to do it for at least 50 years, so don't see why all of a sudden it's too hard.

I was born in 1947 and all of us who lived in London and in very poor housing went to secondary school until 15!

Northern mining town in the slum clearance area. Same but late 1950s.
My parents and grandparents were avid readers as was everyone we knew.
There was nothing else to do for entertainment in winter.
Went with them to the library every Saturday morning and I remember that the age you were allowed a library ticket was 8 but the librarian overlooked the limit if you could read a page out loud to her.

I'm still astonished that people believe there was mass illiteracy 100 years ago.
You just have to do a bit of research on your phone. Something we had to go to the library to do even 40 years ago.

They should be, but when children are spending 40-50+ hours/week at nursery their parents do not have enough time with them to teach these skills.

My dd has just started Y7 and was looking forward to being more independent. Her friend that she walks to school with is either taken there by her mum or older sister as she is really babied. It’s doing my dd’s head in as they aren’t allowed to cross over roads by themselves or to get too far in front and it’s getting to the point that she’d rather walk there on her own. I can’t remember anyone going to secondary in the 90’s being walked there by parents. The other kids would’ve taken the right piss.

Amazing that you've managed to make this into yet another opportunity to bash working mothers. I promise you working parents also potty train their children and get them ready for school.

Most nurseries ban staff carrying phones because of safeguarding. Children should be playing independently on playground equipment, they don't need engagement.
I was finding even forty years ago as a nursery worker a few parents thinking you should engage with three and four year olds every minute. You shouldn't. I remember one parent complaining because I and another worker were watching kids play on a frame and talking to each other.
Kids need some independence. It is age appropriate

My personal observation (and i work with about 200 children every week) is that children who have done full time or nearly full time nursery are behind in every metric except social confidence.

But they do manage. Other countries have decent childcare in place. None of that is relevant to the fact a 4 year old should be able to put on their coat, answer to their name same behave appropriately in class. Kids have been able to do this for generations my teenage son and his classmates could do this at age 4 (and before). Some Parents just simply aren’t parenting

You work with children in what capacity?

Ordinary children left school at 13 then. But there was great enthusiasm for educating yourself, through evening classes and so on. Which is not the case now. My great grandfather came from a very ordinary, poor family and left school at 13. He then educated himself and worked his way up. He became a top advisor to the government and sent all his children to expensive public schools.