AIBU to keep inheritance separate from our family finances?

[CareBearClaire]

WWYD?

I’ve been left approx £16k collectively after both my DPs died (a few years apart). It’s been sitting in my bank account untouched since then. I don’t want to waste it on bits and pieces - I either want to give it to my DCs or use a part of it at least for something for me.

I am married, main breadwinner, work my butt off. We put all our earnings into one pot otherwise. AIBU if I keep this £16k separate to the family money and for me to decide what to do with it, spend it myself and/or give some to the DCs?

Thanks

Well it depends, our guttering is falling down, we’ve plumbing problems, washing machine and dryer dodgy. If dh sat on n inheritance as our house fell down around us I’d find it sad

I inherited some money after my father passed away some years ago, I spent 80% on extending our family home and renovations that benefited us all and added value to a home both my DH and I have on a mortgage.

I kept 20% of the money in an ISA - which I refer to as a rainy day fund… for any emergency’s that we couldn’t otherwise manage with our normal income or savings.

My DH and I have never had a joint account, instead we split bill payments between us, we also don’t have joint saving accounts.

This works well for us… as we know it’s sensible to have an emergency fund, just in case!

YANBU at all. By all means use your inheritance for whatever you want. I chose to put a chuck of mine towards our mortgage but the rest went to various things, holiday, invisalign, house decor.

I inherited a similar amount when my parents died. We put it in a separate account, but only spent it on special things. Nice holidays and stuff. (But all for us as a family)

Just remember if you do that, then if your husband ever gets a windfall, he’ll probably do the same

That's not what she said or meant.

We just need a poster to say 'I would give my inheritance up just for 5 minutes with my parents' and my bingo card will be complete.

Whatever you do with it please put it somewhere other than a bank account as it is basically losing value due to the low interest rates

YANBU. I recently was awarded almost £190K from a trust fund after my mum died in June. I didn't even know anything about it, so it was quite a shock. My husband and I have a joint account for bills, etc, but everything else is separate. I paid off our joint mortgage, but then I have made a list of things I would like to put the money towards. Like you, I just don't want to fritter it away. I drew up a list of things I wanted to do and have started a spreadsheet, so I can track that money. Nearly everything is home improvements related, so that will benefit us both, and I also need a new car. I discussed the list with my husband and he knows about the money, and he is fine with it, but I am keeping it as my money and not adding it to the joint account. However, paying off the mortgage means we now both pay less into to joint account each month, so I feel he is benefitting in that way.

This

We would consider it family money, but equally not fritter it away on daily expenses.

I would want inheritance to go to something substantial
or be put into a pension fund.

@CareBearClaire I think it depends on how you view your dh/family. As I see it it would be family money. We're married, been together for over 20 years with 2 dc. If I were ever to divorce and meet someone else then I would keep it separate.

Yes it definitely depends on your relationship, and of course if you divorced the money your parents wanted you to have will be shared with your husband and family. I inherited £40,000 from my mother and used it all to pay off our joint mortgage completely. However not a wise decision as my husband and I split and live separately so although I still live there alone, he still owns half of the house.

I agree with you. You should keep it separate and decide what happens.

I think that, if you have always had joint finances, then inheritance should also count as joint, at least in as much as you should both get an equal say in how it is spent.

We've always had joint accounts, one pot for everything including savings. I've recently inherited a fairly large amount. While it's mostly been put into bank accounts in my name (for tax reasons), I certainly view it as family money. DH and I will decide together how we will spend that money, how much to invest, how much to give the kids for house deposits etc. That's just how we've always done things, and will continue to do so. While technically it's my money as it's in my account, I won't spend any of it without consulting with DH. But I think that if I said that I want to spend a few thousand on a luxury that we don't really need, such as jewellery, he wouldn't object, and vice versa.