AIBU to think some new parents are becoming overly precious ?

[Embarrassedmumoftoddler]

Before I start my little rant, I know that it is up to the parents so I probably am being unreasonable but I’m just finding that people are getting sooo precious around babies and rules for families / friends etc and it’s starting to really annoy me !

For example a close relative of mine is pregnant - we’ve all been told we can’t buy anything pink, baby is due round Halloween but they don’t want anything ‘holiday’ related ever, they don’t want too many clothes. Basically they’ve totally sucked the joy out of buying for a new baby to the point where no one has bought anything for fear of getting it wrong !!

Another friend never ever offered a cuddle with her baby (who is now a toddler) which I know they aren’t a doll to be passed around but she was the worst for hogging babies before she had her own !

Someone else I know wouldn’t even tell her mum her due date (despite already lining her mum up for free childcare when she’s back at work!)

I also am a member of a mum group on FB and the long list of rules that people send out to people before meeting their baby is at best cringey and at worst extremely insulting !!

I also follow an influencer who didn’t let anyone meet her baby for 3 months !

I just really don’t get it tbh - one of the best
things about becoming a parent was watching the joy my children have bought to the wider family. I just think it’s gone too far and people are coming across and rude and quite ungrateful !

I get the not wanting people over too soon part but its all relative and how you are coping. I had my 3rd csection in 2.5 years in April. I was considerably sorer than before and less eager. I had one particular relative when told not to come over just yet, randomly showed up. I could barely walk and our baby was so unsettled at the time. I also felt really vulnerable and not myself. Baby blues had kicked in and just needed privacy to recover. But once I was recovered, I loved the visits

Enforcing unnecessary 'boundaries' has become a shorthand for 'behaving like a twat'. They aren't needed in normal families, where grandparents and aunties are just excited and doing the very normal thing of wanting to meet the baby.
Parents dil, let's be honest forget that their baby is also part of the husband's family too.
My in-laws could be more than a bit full on and I did end up having to ask them to call first and not just pop round and spend all day in my house, but it would have been mean and cruel to not let them meet the babies when they were first born or impose a bunch of rules about not cuddling them or not buying them clothes/toys.

If new parents want to behave like this, they shouldn't then expect loads of interest and help when they decide to emerge from their 'bubble'

Some new first time parents can get a bit precious. One ex colleague of mine knew the sex of the baby at 20 weeks but declined to tell anyone, which is fair enough.
They also didnt tell anyone that the baby had been born till it was 2 weeks old and wouldnt tell anyone the baby's name for another 2 weeks. To be brutally honest, nobody except the close family were actually arsed about the baby's gender, date of birth or name.
The parents were most put out that nobody was begging for the details 🤣🤣

I'll say what I always say, social media gives you unprecedented access into the lives and inner thoughts of others. We have no idea if parents are becoming precious, or whether we've always been that way inclined.
Look at pictures of royal babies in the 16th century trussed up like loo roll cover dollies - that makes modern parenting look pretty tame by comparison

Yes i would have trouble saying to my parents or inlaws if they overstepped but I think i was more concerned about dh keeping my inlaws informed than dh was, no issues with dh he was just a bit dazed

When i first became pregnant i didnt even think not including then in anything, they have their annoying moments like i probably do to them but it was theit grandchildren just as much as my parents

And cousins and aunts and uncles on both sides

Nobody’s business but the parents! And it’s a cheap tit for tat to say that if you don’t get your way then you won’t be invested/interested later either.