I’m not being unreasonable but need a poll and help with choosing a present.

[Sookisssss]

It’s DP’s 40th next month. We don’t normally spend a lot on each other, but obviously I’m spending more this year due to it being a big one.

I did want to get him something signed by his favourite author but I couldn’t find anything reasonably priced.

I had decided to get him a newspaper from the day he was born, a programme for his football team for a match played the weekend he was born, and a first edition of It which was released in 1986. He likes Stephen King but hasn’t read It. He loved Pet Semetary. Phantom of the Opera also debuted on his actual birthday so I was going to get a programme for that although I don’t think he’s ever been to the theatre.

However, a book signed by his favourite author has just gone on sale. The book is in Italian so he could never read it. I can’t buy both this and It.

Which would you prefer? Any other suggestions welcome too.

YABU - It
YANBU - Signed Italian book

I agree. These things are a total waste of money and are things that the person themselves should buy so as to avoid spending a lot on an unwanted present.

I usually try to have a few gifts that will give joy in different ways, and it has the added bonus that if I miss the mark with something there's usually something else my dp will enjoy. So, I'd aim to have something that enables an enjoyable activity (could be anything from a puzzle book to cinema tickets to a day out), something to eat, something to wear, those sorts of things.

I guess my worry with your gifts is that collectables sometimes don't give so much pleasure after the initial opening, because they don't do much if they can't be read? Though I guess using them as an ornament may work if that's something your dp would enjoy.

I would never have bought myself a first edition of my favourite book. I treasure the one which was bought for me.

It cannot be difficult to understand that people like things that you don’t.

Sorry, I wouldn’t want any of that! A nice weekend away and a meal at a nice restaurant. I wouldn’t want more stuff to have to shove in a box somewhere.

He’s not interested in food, clothes, films, experiences. He likes sports, especially watching football and cricket and playing golf, and he enjoys reading. He likes drawing every now and then but knows he’s no good at it. He likes going out with his mates now and then.

He does like quizzes but I’ve already done a variety of quiz books.

He wouldn’t want a meal at a nice restaurant though. He survives on chicken and Primula cheese.

I appreciate the message and the suggestion but it doesn’t really matter that you wouldn’t want any of it.

Just a thought for another string to your bow... Has he read the second book 'Banco'?

He has and didn’t enjoy it as much.

I see adverts of those newspapers from the day you born all over the place. I didn’t realise anyone bought them.

Just absolute tatt in my opinion.

Thanks for this extremely helpful post. Well worth your time.

Football programme has arrived. Amazing seeing the old adverts - £12.50 for the team’s games on video including a special presentation box - and the written directions for people driving to the next away game. Forgot there was ever a time before the internet.

A special book is a good present, you already know which one he'll like most so no need for me to say which I think would be better.

I'm really trying not to because you clearly think it's a good present... But why the hell would you buy memorabilia for a show for someone who has absolutely no interest in musical theatre?! What do you think he'll enjoy about that? I'd be quite upset if someone misjudged me so badly.

I’m not misjudging him. He will enjoy the history of it happening the day he was born.

Okay I’ve taken on board people saying about appreciating food so I’ve ordered him a big box of ‘80s’ sweets from Etsy. He always makes us ice cream for breakfast when I stay at his so have ordered a personalised ice cream scoop from Etsy. And he loves great white sharks so I’m going to ‘adopt’ one that he can use an app to track.

Just to update, I went for Papillon. £168 but would’ve been a lot cheaper if it wasn’t for Brexit!!

And it turns out it’s not in Italian, it’s in Spanish.

I think that’s a batshit decision, but you do you!!

I think he’ll really enjoy having something signed by the man himself. It has a Spanish inscription from him saying ‘a greeting and good luck’ too.

I’ll also get him a normal copy of It.