To be furious with DP? 3yo has massive bruise after being left with him

[NegativeCloud]

sorry this is a bit of a ramble

my 3 year old is in hospital at the minute after surgery. I’ve been here with him pretty much the whole time and went home for a bit earlier to shower and get some stuff etc.

I left him with his dad/my bf.

Apparently they went into the playroom and he’s fallen and now he’s got a HUGE bruise on his face. it’s really bad, like straight away you can see it and it’s swollen.

I asked what happened and he just said he fell over playing. I asked what he hit his face on and he couldn’t actually tell me properly?? Then he admitted he was on his phone when it happened.

I’m so angry I can’t even explain it. He’s 3, I know kids fall over and accidents happen but he’s in hospital after surgery. Surely you should be watching him properly?? Especially when I’ve literally had to leave him there with you because I needed to go home for a couple of hours.

And now I feel awful for leaving him.

The nurses have seen the bruise and are checking him obviously, I’m not ignoring it, but I’m sat here feeling sick about the whole thing.

I don’t even know if I’m being unreasonable because I’m so stressed and tired anyway.

I just can’t get past the fact he was on his phone while he was supposed to be looking after him.

Sorry this probably makes no sense.

Children fall over all the time, sometimes over fresh air. Our eldest fell when he was a toddler and banged his head on our floor height window ledge. The bruise on his forehead was huge and I spent an evening in a&e with him. It happened on my watch and thankfully my husband wasn’t full of recriminations and questioning my care. Other than covering them in cotton wool and hovering next to them every time they move there is no way you can stop them falling over from time to time.

Anyone on here saying they have never looked at their phone whilst their 3 year old was playing in the same room as them is a liar and even if you’re watching their every move the likelihood of you spotting them falling and catching them in time is virtually zero unless you happen to be stood next to them.
Stop winding the OP up with stupid hyperbole. It was simply an accident, they happen all the time, as is proven by the fact a&e is continually full of people with injuries.

Dreadful. Has your partner shown any remorse?

Does he have form for playing on his phone and not giving DC attention? i think this is the big question - is it one more of a string of incidents that show he's there in name only, or was it an accident that could have happened to anyone, and glancing at his phone from time to time while DC is entertaining themselves was not really inappropriate.

Try not to make too much of this one incident, OP. You are naturally stressed and it's obviously more distressing than normal that DC got injured just after surgery. But in a few months, when DC is recovered and you are feeling calmer, if DP is generally pretty switched off as a father it's worth considering if you really want a DP who ignores his own DC in your lives.

YANBU he’s not trustworthy enough to be left on his own with him that accident should never have happened and wouldn’t have happened had he been watching him properly.

Edit: I re-read and realised it happened in the hospital playroom... Slow processing 🙈

How do you know that? The kids could've fallen a few feet away by the time a parent could've got there.

Are you constantly hovering inches behind your kids " just in case"

This is great 😂 You, @likelysuspect and a few others criticising posters for things they have NOT said, but you thought they might?!

I'm sure you can all find other threads where people really are saying stuff you dislike. This is downright bonkers.

You are quite right. I see mums every day scrolling on their phones while their children are with them - apparently that's fine.

Don’t be so utterly ignorant and over dramatic! Kids fall in the blink of an eye and even if he was watching him directly next to him, he’d had have to have had lightning fast reactions to stop it from happening!

This