To ask if anyone else has been happy stopping at 1 child?

[Pioneerofaerodynamics]

I don't yet have children but I feel like I would just like one, in order to still manage financially and to still have more free time etc.. I'm sure people will have their opinions like they do on everything "but they need a sibling to play with!!" "But it's selfish to just have one!!".

I feel like it's seen as the done thing to have 2 children with about 2 to 4 years between them, but I believe I'd be happy with just one. Interested to hear from anyone else?

I have one (11yo) by circumstance rather than by choice, but it’s great. He gets lots of time and attention, and we (parents) get time to ourselves without the logistics of having to juggle two kids. I don’t really know how most families manage tbh!

On the other hand I do fret about him potentially being on his own when we’re gone… but I try not to borrow worries - there’s always more than enough to stress about no matter what your family setup may be.

We seriously considered 2. I had a miscarriage, then we decided not to try again.

It's great. DS(12) gets plenty of attention. DH and I can easily do our own thing. We take DS on holiday individually as well as together.

There's plenty of ways for DC to socialise. I'm not close to any of my siblings.

I have one child and love it! I and DP were also only children and we loved it!!

Out of 26 children in my son's class 17 of them including him are only children. It's becoming much more common and I've never once regretted only having one.

I was perfectly happy with the one. Any more would have interfered with my career and I would have struggled financially.

I’ve got one and he’s a superstar. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Siblings quite frequently don’t get on anyway so having more than one doesn’t guarantee your child a play mate.

I’m one and done (plus an adult “bonus son” from my husband’s first marriage, who doesn’t live with us) and we’re perfectly content. We did consider a second (well, third for my husband) but our knackered selves decided that having just one child meant that he would receive more from us in terms of time, attention, and resources. He’s got a wide and local social circle plus extended family so there was never any concern about him being lonely as an “only” child.

My parents were pretty happy stopping at one and I am very grateful to them for that.
No matter how many children you have, people will always tell you that you are selfish. No children - selfish. One child - selfish. Six children - definitely selfish... Seriously, don't bother with these comments.

I’m now in a blended family, but when it was just my daughter and I, we were very happy indeed. If anything having to additional children has made it more complicated. Now, every only child I have ever known always says they would’ve loved to have had brothers and sisters, but they normally have some rosy eyed view of what it is to have siblings. There is evidence out there to suggest only children tend to be happier because obviously they don’t have to fight for attention.

I have 1 dd aged 15, and I’m so glad I stopped at 1. I always meant to get round to another but enjoyed giving her the things I didn’t have as a kid with brothers and sisters. She has been all over the world and has close friendships which stops her feeling lonely for siblings.

Most people in my child's class are only children. There are 3 with 1 sibling each. Most people in my school growing up were only children. So it doesn't seem odd to me and I'm not sad I only had one child. It meant I could give him more attention, buy slightly more expensive clothes and indulge him a bit more than I would if I had more than 1 child.

From a practical perspective, I already felt (and still feel) that I was already too old for a child at 37. Pregnancy and birth were both horrific and I wouldn't want to repeat either.

I’ve got one. Not by choice but very happy with one and don’t regret in the slightest.

The argument that its “selfish” can get in the bin. Having siblings is absolutely no guarantee that you will like them. And there are many financial benefits to having one child. I have been able to offer my child so much more than if I had had multiple.

Planned one. Had one. Stopped at one.

Really good decision for all three of us.

I am not here to conform to what anyone else thinks is right for their family.

My honest view on this is that having a second child purely to give the existing one a sibling is a really peculiar thing to do, and it isn’t something I understand at all.

I’m watching this with interest.
My best friend in the world is my sister and I have no relationship like it. When I was single and wanted to meet somebody I used to feel especially sorry for others who were searching my for their soulmate and at least I already had mine 😂
Having more than one was always a non-negotiable for me because of my sibling situation, but tbh I’ve never met an only child who gave a shit and also there are plenty of people out there who hate their siblings! Also because of finances and attention I can give I think I just want one now.

I have 3 and love it but I think you should do what your heart wants. I wanted 3 and never think 1 is too few. It’s what you enjoy and can manage.

Do what you like. You havent even got one yet so why are you worrying o ver somthing so trivial and in the future?

Yes me, have one and am happy. No one has ever said anything - but I don't have the kind of friends/colleagues that would even think of that being appropriate conversation.

One and done here, and she is quite happy about it too. The time I think a sibling might have helped was lockdown, when obviously she only had us for company (she was 13), but she says it was fine.

There are all sorts of advantages. One I particularly noticed was that if we went to a museum, or an event, we could stay just as long as she was interested; we didn't have the problem of one child being interested and one not.

I think you’re right in a way that when a sibling relationship is as you describe there is just nothing like it.

The problem is I do think it’s quite unusual. I can only think of one person with that sort of relationship with their sister, they really are so close and it’s lovely (they are twins actually) - I know a lot of people who get on with their brother or sister but in the context of plenty of other friends and relatives if you like.

I also know plenty who just don’t get on with theirs at all, or have a friendly but not close relationship. There are just so many variables and I think a lot of parents are their four and two year olds holding hands and declare that they are the best of friends, but things don’t stay in that toddler bubble for long.

I have one and it's been great.

We only ever wanted one and only had one. It's been great and there hasn't been a single day when I've regretted it. DS says he likes being an only.

I don't get on with my siblings and DH is one of 5 which was hard, so we didn't have rose tinted views of sibling relationships. DH's siblings all have either no children or an only.

There was a thread about this on Monday.

I didn’t see it and I am interested in this one.

I think I am interested because honestly with the benefit of hindsight I am not sure I’d have had two. I don’t enjoy having two children. I adore them as individuals but I don’t like parenting them together, I’m utterly drained by two hour bedtimes (bath and books and bed for one then straight onto the other) I hate hate HATE the screams and the screeches and the bellows that are ‘Normal!’ others cheerily tell me. I hate the constant guilt and the meeting myself coming back. I’m not a good mum of multiple kids, at all.