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AIBU?

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To moan about my shit day with toddler

28 replies

allgonewrongsgain · 09/09/2026 11:00

3 year old recently started a new swimming class next to a trampoline park I took him to in the summer so after the lesson he wanted to go. I thought … why not. FML.

It cost £15 plus £3 each for socks so over £20 and all he’s done is whinge and tantrum

ffs

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FenywHysbys · 09/09/2026 11:14

Tell him swimming or trampoline - both is too much for one day. Was the trampoline place restrictive according to age, so that he could only use a small area rather than free access to everything?

Lomonald · 09/09/2026 11:19

Both is far too much it should be either /or. Lesson learned I suppose little kids don't regulate very well or how to be grateful.

Loveacadburyscreamegg · 09/09/2026 11:20

Ha - toddlers are the hardest stage IMO. At least they nap and go to bed early so you have some quiet time 😆

allgonewrongsgain · 09/09/2026 11:29

both too much for one day really? All the advice I’ve read is wear them out. Swimming is 930-10, so what do you do for the other eight hours (genuine Q)

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lanthanum · 09/09/2026 11:30

Whenever I took DD swimming at that age, she slept on the bus home (wasn't napping otherwise). Adding trampolining would have been asking for trouble, I think.

allgonewrongsgain · 09/09/2026 11:32

Guess they are all different, have never noticed swimming being especially exerting.

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Lomonald · 09/09/2026 11:34

allgonewrongsgain · 09/09/2026 11:29

both too much for one day really? All the advice I’ve read is wear them out. Swimming is 930-10, so what do you do for the other eight hours (genuine Q)

Well they can go on overdrive he would have been tired from swimming then you took him to a busy over stimulating trampoline park, it was obviously to overwhelming for him. What do you usually do with him ?

Peonies12 · 09/09/2026 11:35

That's what kids do! Obv next time take socks. And I agree with others, I would only do one planned/paid for activity a day. Swimming takes longer than 30 mins with changing etc, and we play in the pool after another half an hour once the lesson is finished. then home for lunch and nap, and we go to the playground in the afternoon, walk round tesco, go to a cafe.

Lomonald · 09/09/2026 11:35

How else would explain his behaviour?

concertinacornflake · 09/09/2026 11:35

That's too much excitement in one day.

'Tire them out' means a walk/run in nature, not overstimulation going straight from listening at swimming to a noisy bright trampoline park. The aim is to calm them down not wind them up!

Parents get better at pacing things after a few crappy days resulting in tears and wasted money with practice.

PullingOutHair123 · 09/09/2026 11:35

Mine were always knackered after swimming at that age. And hungry - always a more substantial meal needed on those days.

Maybe swimming in the morning, and trampolining in the afternoon so a chance to rest and recharge before the next thing?

allgonewrongsgain · 09/09/2026 11:37

Food does seem to have improved the situation. I’m not sure that a half hour toddler swimming lesson is massively exciting but maybe I’m more of a thrill seeker than I think 😂

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concertinacornflake · 09/09/2026 11:37

Swimming is concentration + listening + exercise + coordination...

allgonewrongsgain · 09/09/2026 11:39

concertinacornflake · 09/09/2026 11:37

Swimming is concentration + listening + exercise + coordination...

It is thirty minutes though …

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Thesearenotthedroids · 09/09/2026 11:39

Swimming is also that echoey noise, the sensory feelings of being in water etc.

But in my experience it's all hungar. Just feed them carbs constantly at that age.

allgonewrongsgain · 09/09/2026 11:40

He’s fine now he’s had food although keeps wanting me to jump on the trampoline carrying him and screaming when I won’t.

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concertinacornflake · 09/09/2026 11:46

allgonewrongsgain · 09/09/2026 11:39

It is thirty minutes though …

He is three. You're arguing with human biology (ETA) and psychology.

You're the one with a screaming toddler! Pretty much everyone has said the same thing.

Keepoffmyartichokes · 09/09/2026 11:47

allgonewrongsgain · 09/09/2026 11:39

It is thirty minutes though …

But he's a toddler, they get tired and over whelmed more easily than adults. You can't compare how you would feel to how a toddler feels.

Lomonald · 09/09/2026 11:53

allgonewrongsgain · 09/09/2026 11:39

It is thirty minutes though …

But there is everything before and after the thirty minutes, it is a swimming day so change in routine so he is excited and it just builds and builds so by the time he got to the trampoline place he would have been hungry after swimming /tired because of the excitement and it just blows up. So it isn't the actual physical 30 minutes that specifically causes overwhelm.

BertieBotts · 09/09/2026 11:54

Swimming OR trampolining are both incredibly intense/draining, so I would only do one of those in a day. They tend to be vv good for wearing them out, but you can end up with too much of a good thing! You don't want them to be worn out by lunchtime Smile

Essentially the idea of wearing them out is kind of like walking a dog, you'd take them for walks 1-2 times a day, and if you have a high energy dog you might add a third session of brain games at home or a third, gentler walk. You would not spend literally all day in high intensity activity with them because everyone would be exhausted.

I think "exciting" is slightly the wrong word - the way I'd think about this is that it's sort of about energy level of the activity - have you heard of Zones of Regulation at all? They use 4 different colours to describe different "zones" of where our energy level/activity level is. So blue is sleepy/relaxed, green is a sort of calm, concentrated type level which might not have much physical activity but could have more cognitive/brain type activity, red is very intense/high energy such as competitive sports or intense activity like swimming lessons, trampolining, dancing (but could also stand for very strong emotions such as anger, frustration, fear) and yellow is sort of somewhere in between red and green - so perhaps some especially taxing mental stimulation/learning, or a lighter form of exercise like splashing in a pool for fun, running/walking/playing/other kinds of physical activity which aren't AS intense as the red ones.

Then it's about having a balance of that in your day - so toddlers do spend more time in the red/yellow zones compared with older children and adults. People of any age can't spend a long time in the red zone because it's very energy-intensive and tends to drain us, but short bursts of this are OK (in terms of strong emotions or intensive exercise) and can be positive (sometimes we need to push through difficult feelings or tasks in order to grow). Toddlers probably need more yellow in terms of physical activity than green. But aiming for a balance of blue (chilling) and green (quiet concentration/brain exercise) and yellow (stretch/physical movement) and short bursts of red, not directly running on from one another if possible, but separating them out if there will be more than one in a day.

Does he go to nursery?

whippersnapper55 · 09/09/2026 12:13

Mine were always starving after swimming so I would definitely have snacks to hand for afterwards! Trampolining is fun but 3 year olds are unpredictable buggers who can have a tantrum over the most irrational and inconsequential things! You have my sympathy 😂 it gets better!

allgonewrongsgain · 09/09/2026 12:22

Three days a week @BertieBotts , yesterday was the first day back after the summer. I take peoples point about too much but honestly he’s done much more before without any obvious signs of exhaustion of fretfulness. The swimming is a 30 minute thing and it’s me in the pool with him and not especially tiring or requiring extensive concentration although I accept I’m not 3!

I think my mind is just resigned to today being a bit shit; its one of those where whatever you do its wrong 😩😩

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Lomonald · 09/09/2026 12:39

Hopefully once you are home you can chill out a bit.

Anythingbuthelpful · 09/09/2026 12:46

You've got another "issue" staring you in the face there with him having his first day back. Total change in routine/different faces/activities. These things have huge impacts on young children.

allgonewrongsgain · 09/09/2026 12:53

Yes, probably was. He was a bit all over the place yesterday evening but seemed OK after dinner,

The problem is that not doing anything (ie going straight home after swimming!) doesn’t necessarily stop these objectionable sort of days for want of a better word. It would still have been the wrong cup or wrong snack or wrong TV show!

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