Is it weird that my younger brother is dating my wife’s younger sister?

[kfyuy]

Me and my wife are both in our mid40s and have been married for 18 years. We have 3 kids.

I have a younger brother (38) and younger sister (42). My wife has an older brother and sister, and a younger sister who is 38.

Anyway… my younger brother and my wife's younger sister have apparently been dating for a while. Both have children from previous marriages my brother has 2 kids and her sister has 3. All the children are under 10 and roughly similar ages.

I only found out yesterday at dinner, when my wife casually announced that they were a couple. They were both there too. Apparently they're quite serious and are planning to get married.

And yes, I realise everyone involved is a fully grown adult and they're not doing anything wrong. I genuinely want them to be happy.

But I can't help thinking… isn't this a bit weird?

My little brother potentially marrying my wife's little sister means our families are suddenly going to be even more intertwined. We'd effectively become in-laws twice over, and our kids would have their uncle married to their aunt.

Maybe I'm overthinking it, but finding out about it at a family dinner, and being seemingly the last person to know, has left me slightly bewildered!

My Aunts were "married" to brothers.

Oldest Aunt has been with Oldest brother for 50 odd years (never married)

Youngest Aunt married Youngest brother, had my cousin, since divorced, but still on very good terms.

Brothers parents became bonus granny and grandpa to all the family, it was really lovely actually.

It’s only weird that you didn’t know and they’re at the point of marriage.

Bit strange they kept it to themselves until they were at potentially marrying stage, but I don’t see an Issa with it.

The only issue will be if any of you split up it could make things awkward, but hopefully if it does happen you’ll all be grown ups about it as there are children involved.

No two of my brothers married two sisters. Elvis Presley's dad's sister married his mums brother. Therefore, they "were double first cousins". As one of his biographies put it.

My cousins are all very close from those marriages, for a while they lived next door to each other. They have been really supportive of each other through some really tough times. And the two girls out of the five are just like sisters.

I’m going to go against the grain and say I would also find it weird. If you were all youngsters and you’d been at school together it’d be different. If an aunt and uncle from opposite sides of the family hooked up, I suspect my adult DC would be initially shocked and then highly amused.

I actually know two sets of people with this situation.

First is DPs best friend, her husband is her sisters husbands brother. They met at the engagement party of the other couple.

Second lot are a couple that I used to work with. They hooked up on a works night out, and unbeknownst to them a week earlier his sister and her brother had met on Tinder and arranged to go out. They all turned up to a family BBQ a few months later, two of them were very surprised to find their sibling there!

There's nothing really wrong with it, the kids are a bit more related genetically than is usual for cousins, look a bit more similar!

They do seem a bit more intertwined than your average family, big Christmases with both sets of parents there, big family holidays etc. I do wonder if the "in law" to the sibling that isn't part of the "group" in the first set I mentioned feels a little bit on the outside.

It can also make life awkward if things go wrong as well. To make it easier to explain, I'll call DP's friend X going forward. X's sister has been going through a bit of a rough patch in her relationship, no cheating or anything where one side is obviously at fault, but potentially marriage ending. It's caused a bit of a backwash in X's own relationship, as obviously her husband is keen to see his brothers point of view, whereas X is more likely to be on her sisters side.

Absolutely nothing weird at all. My mums friend and her sister married 2 brothers, they had long and happy marriages and all the children were and still are, great friends

Ok that's weird I wouldn't have liked that!!!

So I think I would feel the same as you, but deep down I don’t think I’d be opposed to them being together. I think that unsettled feeling you have, for me it would be because I was the last to know and they’re so far along they’re talking marriage. It’s such a big jump for you to process, and for me that would be the weird feeling I’d be having, your brain having to compute this new situation

Most people’s uncles and aunties are married 🤷‍♀️

No. They can date each other if they like. It's nothing to do with you

DHs uncles (his DFs brothers) married two sisters.

It’s fairly unusual maybe but not weird.

When my DH’s family tree was researched, they found three lots of brothers/sisters in law marrying like that. They were from huge sets of siblings though in those days - plenty to pick from😂
Bit odd you were the last to know, maybe they suspected you’d be disapproving?

It used to be very normal. My grandfather’s sister was married to my grandmother’s brother. The cousins are closer than first cousins and definitely should not marry! But other than that there is no problem at all. It’s nice.

Not weird at all. My Grandmother had a double cousin because siblings married siblings. Her mothers brother married her fathers sister.

Not as weird as my DH's ex wife being married to his brother.

It’s weird but in kind of an ok way, nothing much you can do about it!

No. Sarah Beeny’s brother is married to her DH’s sister (or the other way around). My ex SIL dated her ex’s brother (I did think that was a bit off). I think it’s not uncommon.

Way over thinking. It's a sibling pairs married to a sibling pair.

My mothers older brother married my fathers younger sister and they had 2 boys. They are just my cousins who we sometimes saw 2 days in a row during Christmas..

Generically I am as related to their children as to my niece but I practice I've only met 2 of the 6 children they have between them. Where as I see my niece regularly.

It's not that weird and it's a great ice breakker for when you have to say something weirdd/unusual about your self really makes people's brain hurt 😂

My mum’s brother married a woman, her brother then married my mum’s sister - I can remember it being remarked on about twice in my whole upbringing but no one was in the slightest bit bothered by it. Of anything it was nice for the cousins to have the same set of grandparents

Your mums sister is your aunt, not your great aunt.

it happened in my grandparents time. Any children are known as ‘double first cousins.’

im with pps, the only weird thing is that you were unaware of w.

No. You’re being weird. It’s fine. Back off.

I know two friends that are in the same situation both happily married for years all good. As long as they are happy.

My younger sister is married to my husband’s younger brother and there are no other siblings so our family really is tiny! It has its advantages but also makes it quite difficult to call out bad behaviour for fear of the repercussions.

This sounds like a good story line for Emmerdale 🤣